Reviews for Breathe
HopelessxDreams chapter 1 . 7/12/2013
Aww :')
Beautifully written.
CherryTree chapter 1 . 12/17/2012
Ahh, that was adorable. Too bad for Mary though. She reminds me of myself...
Chairmodeactivated09 chapter 1 . 1/27/2012
.GOSH I nearly cried and I was expecting that the Hot N' Cold song will play LOL and This fanfic is really great I'm going to add this on my favorites! This fanfic is so BEAUTIFUL! great job!
Pshycho chapter 1 . 12/1/2011
I really enjoyed reading this. You put a lot of description into the story, which I really liked. The setting and plot of the story was really unique so that I liked the most.

The only thing is that I felt like you tried to end it too quickly. The ending felt forced and I agree with a lot of the things Peach the Hedgehog said. I understand how in a lot of fanfics you have you alter the characters personalities a bit so I didn't mind that. The ending just didn't seem to go well with the rest of the story.

Over all though, I really liked it. I really liked how you described the scenes and I felt like I was there.
Jonaleepuff chapter 1 . 11/19/2011
Loved it. I enjoyed reading the whole wedding scenario and I feel like it's something that's not done often-and something I'd like to do as well~

I think Saibara clapping is fine, but I would have liked to see more of a reaction from the townspeople towards the "I don't". Other than that, it's great~!
Angel Peach Blossom chapter 1 . 11/18/2011
If I can be honest, I didn't like this too much. It's not because it is ClairexGray. I do prefer MaryxGray, but there is nothing wrong with Gray being with Claire.

Now, don't get me wrong, this is written very well! You went into detail on things, and barely anything was done in one line. That is something I like to see!

Spelling and grammar also looks good, which is also a major plus in my eyes.

It's just the storyline. I'm not saying this sort of thing can't happen, but to me, this felt kinda forced. The ending especially felt that to me, with how automatically 'Claire melting against his body' and both whispering 'I love you.'

Now, I was aware this was going to be a ClairexGray fic before I clicked, so it's not like that came as a surprise. However, at the same time, it just didn't feel right to me. Aside from Mary, no one has said anything.

What about Basil? He told Gray to take care of Mary just then! Don't you think that Basil will be upset? Especially since Gray doing what he did caused his daughter to cry?

Not only that, you had Saibara clapping over this, which is way OOC for him. I'm not saying that Gray shouldn't have done what he did, but if he truly loved Claire, then he should have never proposed to Mary. Also, I think Saibara would actually be mad at his grandson for doing something that... well, in my mind stupid. Saibara has always been hard on his grandson.

Mary was humiliated, and no one seems to be taking that into account, which is OOC for many. There wasn't much of a response, and I just felt that it was all meant to say that Claire and Gray belong together, and that Mary doesn't deserve him.

Now, don't get me wrong. Again, I do like ClairexGray. But the way the story went just didn't seem quite right to me.

Also, there is one typo I noticed. Mary's mother is Anna, not Ann. Anna and Ann are two different people.

Now, I'm sorry that I was harsh here. I know that I was, and again, I do think your story is written very well. I'm just not too keen on the storyline is all.
SunnyElla16 chapter 1 . 11/17/2011
LOVED IT! It was so detailed, it felt like I was there! Poor Mary though :( watching the guy she is to marry kissing someone else on their wedding day... Oh well, love hurts!