|Reviews for The Keepsake|
| hot4edward chapter 20 . 11/6/2016
Thank you for a lovely story! I've been following your stories for awhile now. I have to admit that when Edward bit into his own arm, I crossed over into one of your other stories, "Being Human," and panicked, worried he'd turn human. But then I remembered the circumstances were different, and felt foolish for getting the storylines mixed up. I like Portland Edward better than Forks Edward, too. It's great that he was able to mature and grow. Was it truly coincidence that they were going to the same school, or did his family know where Bella was - and encourage Edward to choose that same school in the hopes they'd run into each other? Anyway, great story!
| robela chapter 20 . 11/3/2016
thank you again for this amazing story!
| srta. perseides chapter 20 . 11/1/2016
lei la traducción de este fic, pero no esta completo aún así que corri a leer el fic orginal y todo lo que implica, la traducción de google no es muy buena pero al menos pude disfrutar de la mayoria de la narrativa. muchas gracias, me corrieron lagrimas por ahi.
esperare con ansias que la niña termine de traducir para volver a leerlo. excelente historia.
| Renee Aubin chapter 10 . 10/31/2016
Well, Windchymes, after drafting my review I realized that (a) I quoted half the chapter back to you, and (b) I went way over my limit of 1000 words. I’ve edited but I can’t stand to cut any more, so sorry for the length…
It’s sweet that he’s so encouraged by her impulsive hug.
‘Edward moves his arms, releasing me so he can open his coat and wrap me up inside, bringing me out of the cold.’
I guess even though it’s a choice between two kinds of cold, she’s at least protected from cold breezes, and more importantly, the emotional warmth makes up for everything!
‘He laughs softly, a deep chuckle of wonder and contentment that I can feel rumbling in his chest. "I really, really didn't expect this." His arms squeeze me very gently and I squeeze him back, as tight as I can.’
A nice line: "I wish things were as simple as holding you, but they're not."
Oh boy, of course she goes there:
"The talk...it's not a goodbye talk is it?”
Wow: “All the decisions are yours, Bella.”
Who are you and what have you done with Edward Cullen?
Outside the party, he offers to wait while she goes in. But ‘now he's here, I'm not letting him go.’
Oh hell no.
Interesting that Edward’s tension in the crowd turns out to be not the thing we always expect – intercepting some disturbing or annoying thought – but his inability to “read” people’s expressions because of the masks and costumes. So true:
‘…this gives me a glimpse into his life since he lost his gift…and my heart burns for him.’
And yet, Edward still observes enough to ride in on his white horse when ghost-guy grabs Bella’s wrist to insist that she dance with him.
Giggle: “the polycotton spectre”
Hah! Edward’s costume was obviously Angel from the Buffyverse. Only better looking.
Simple yet delicious: ‘He lifts our hands and his eyes travel to mine as he lowers his face over my knuckles. His intention is clear and my heart skips and I smile as his perfect lips just barely brush my skin.’
Oh my gosh, right afterwards: ‘I find myself wondering if he'll stay with me all night, like he used to.’ Does she think she’s ready for that?
Interesting discussion about her forgiveness for his leaving in Forks. I have to wonder if she really is “okay” with it. Or is it a “time served” kind of thing because he has clearly suffered so much since then?
“…my family never intended to hurt me. But I did intend to hurt you. I must have known what my lies would do to you."
Well, except his intention was ultimately not to hurt her. Presumably his family knows that, because of the (unseen by us) argument when he bullied them into leaving Forks.
Oh good for her, when he’s clearly caught in a downward spiral:
Edward looks up, almost startled, when I snap at him…’
After she tells him that his simple new-birthday gifts were important to her,
"You wore the ribbon," he says softly and my irritation fades.
"Yes," I smile.
"That meant a lot to me."
Fun idea about the paper airplane as the Halloween treat.
Wow, this is so simple and direct:
"I like listening to you laugh," he says. "Seeing you smile. Your happiness is everything to me."
He’s really “all in”, isn’t he? And brave enough to let her see that.
"Then it wasn't just my scent that drew you to me before? Or my silent mind?"
By “before” she means back in Forks? Then it’s quite a leap of faith for him to firmly answer “no” to her question, rather than hedging with an “I don’t know”, which would be perfectly understandable.
‘He gives me a soft, shy smile. "Right now I just want to hold you. But I know we still need to talk."
"Maybe we can do both?" I suggest hopefully.’
‘I think over the last three days...
"I thought I'd lost you again," I whisper and the burn pricks at the backs of my eyes. "You were so angry."
"I'm sorry. I'm so, sorry.”
Stunning, when she gives the bookmark back:
"I didn't know it was yours, but I knew it was important." He takes a deep, slow breath. "I found this in the pocket of the shirt I wore when we fought Victoria's army of newborns." He speaks slowly, his voice low and deep, weighing his words. "… I knew it must have been important though, because I had taken it into battle with me."
‘His words hit me like a wrecking ball…’
Yes. Me too. So she finally gets to cry with him.
‘"You al...almost died," I stutter. And it would have been for me...he would have died for me.’
And "I can't watch you walk away again."
Excellent: ‘He rocks me softly and it's so comforting as I cling to him, feeling him, hard and real against me...’
“My existence is a strange sort of half-life and I act it out on the fringe of humanity without ever being truly a part of it." He gives me a sad, apologetic smile. "I'm not much of a catch."
Hmm, a nice way to think about it:
"And your life wouldn't have to be as limited as mine. I would give you the space you need to be human."
Swoonworthy: "Then the decision is yours," he whispers. "I'm yours if you'll have me."
Sigh: ‘Edward laughs, it's a rich, joyful sound that comes from deep inside him and he falls back on the sofa, pulling me with him.’
“It's as though my mind doesn't remember, but the rest of me does.”
"You said on Sunday that we had kissed. … Is that something we did a lot?"
‘He listens to my heart.
Tenderly, I wrap my arms around him as I remember the first time he ever did this. It was in the meadow… - but now his body holds none of the raw tension from that day.’
Wow, that was a freakin’ masterful first kiss!
Fabulous: ‘This isn't like other times he kissed me. This kiss is not tempered by fear or restraint – there's only joy in this kiss and in the way he holds me. Joy and desire and love.’
He’s making the most of his do-over, isn’t he?
"Was it always that good?"
"It was always good, but that was...spectacular."
He's smug now. "Spectacular."
Yes, it was a surprise that he went to Forks – including even her bedroom - looking for something to trigger his memory. All right, and what did he see that he’s curious about?
| AnAvidReader123 chapter 16 . 10/28/2016
| Renee Aubin chapter 9 . 10/26/2016
A perfect way for Edward to process all that has happened – pushing his car within an inch of its life over and over. That rhythm of ‘...clutch, shift, gas’ was excellent.
Oh dear, working his way through instance after instance where he had confided in a family member about Bella, plus Bella herself, and each one explodes as anger and betrayal, as well as a sense of shame? embarrassment? at being the only one out of the loop.
‘He felt so foolish now. He felt like the brunt of a cruel joke.
He'd thought his feelings were his, just his, but they belonged to everyone.’
Some favorite lines:
‘The most important person in his world, and his family would have let him base their relationship on a lie.’
‘It had been like listening to a story about someone he didn't know. Some cruel bastard who tore out Bella's heart and shredded it in front of her eyes. …
He wasn't the man he'd thought he was.’
‘She'd talked about a summer they'd shared. …
The future he'd hoped for was already part of his past.’
‘…he'd grieved for what he'd lost.
Not just the memories, but the chance to tell her gently who he was.
The chance to open up to her, to offer her something he'd never offered before...
Great reconstruction of backstory:
‘He remembered how it had been after Victoria was dead. He'd opened his eyes to his family's anxious faces and silent minds. He'd grabbed at Carlisle, frantically...
"Why can't I hear you?" he had yelled. "Why can't I hear you?"’
‘The lost memories didn't bother him - Forks was not even a blip on his radar.
He'd thought it was his missing gift that had him so distraught…’
‘The golden, gifted first-born son was gifted no more.
They could lie to him now.
They had lied to him.’
I was shocked when Edward went after Jasper! Interesting, because he’s not unleashing his original reaction from two years ago – he doesn’t have access to that – but his reaction to Bella’s tale tonight.
‘"Is there anything else I should know?" he asked and Carlisle winced at the bitterness in his son's voice.’
Then Bella – this is an interesting point:
‘…tonight wasn't about him being a vampire and me being human; it was about the lie.’
So maybe they're not doomed to repeat the same old dance.
That was a nice touch having Alice and Carlisle come check on Bella, looking the worse for wear. I’m glad Carlisle took responsibility for his part in tonight’s disaster.
Smile, it’s not like Alice to admit defeat in the clothing arena:
"Actually, you really don't have a lot for me to work with here, Bella."
Funny line about Edward not catching Alice’s scent at Bella’s apartment: "I'm not a wet dog, Bella."
You have such a gift for finding the little detail that makes an image of Edward come alive:
‘The coat swings rhythmically as he walks, flaring in and out a little at the bottom it sways in time with his steps.’
I can just see it!
Whew! "I'm sorry," he whispers. "And...I understand."
‘Without words, without any thought, but acting purely on instinct, I step forward and throw my arms around him. …
I hold him as I wanted to in that clearing when he was falling apart in front of my eyes.’
That was quite a journey in this chapter!
| Ayina11 chapter 6 . 10/26/2016
I cried while reading about the birthday surpise Edward gave to Bella. It's so sweet
| QueenGB chapter 20 . 10/22/2016
What can I say? The 2 years you gave up for and to this story were so worth it in my book. This was amazing the whole way through. Thank you, thank you!
| QueenGB chapter 18 . 10/22/2016
Phew! That was a lot and impactful and I am so glad the chappy ended the way it did.i was really worried about Bella for a hike there. I Jadore Portland Edward! ;-)
| QueenGB chapter 17 . 10/22/2016
Edward handled that so well and now our Bella will have to face the vampiric music. Lies and protect the secret above all else my dear.
| QueenGB chapter 16 . 10/22/2016
I mean no offense and this is a complete compliment believe me but have you ever read the Angel Series by drotuno? Her Edward is all about redemption and love and foregiviness by showing he's changed living that change for Bella. Your Edward gives me the feel goods like that Edward. It think she is genius like Edwards Eternal and you my dear are in good company. This is my compliment. ;-D JS
| QueenGB chapter 15 . 10/22/2016
"Allegro or adagio?" That little lead in was hotter than a lemon. Well done! Also, it was nice to see the old and new trying to find a balance especially in the discussion about Joham. I mean Bella we are talking about a scientist vampire that likes to experiment so a human in his presence is unwise. JS! That discussion was so well done too. Bravo yet again!
| QueenGB chapter 13 . 10/21/2016
| QueenGB chapter 9 . 10/21/2016
Phew...that poor cluch! What was done so has been done unto you. Hmmm
| QueenGB chapter 8 . 10/21/2016
That must have been so hard to write. All that emotion. So well done indeed!