Reviews for The Keepsake
QueenGB chapter 5 . 10/21/2016
That chapter with his solitude and quiet thoughts and mother son talk with Esme was ah-maze-ing my friend. Amazing!
QueenGB chapter 4 . 10/21/2016
They are mated one human and one vampire changes nothing,like having latent powers its there and it's strong. Hiding your most painful memories will not change the connection. Keep hope alive Bella.
QueenGB chapter 3 . 10/21/2016
Great writers stick together as proof of your work and your beta one of my favs EE. This is sad and feel for poor Bella and Edward to surpress his memories so strongly. Will you explain further his injuries from the newborn?
QueenGB chapter 2 . 10/21/2016
So you are another intriguing author who will right the sad wrongs of NM and Eclipse. I love these types of stories because the love triangle was not good *rolls eyes* sorry Jacob lovers it had no weight and how Edward left was so freaking awful. I mean in over 90 years didn't Carlisle explain mating and how it is unbreakable? I mean look and sad Marcus after 1000years. I am enjoying your point of view very much so far. ;-)
Renee Aubin chapter 8 . 10/19/2016
Oh no - not only is he in a tizzy over Bella’s bite, but he figures out she has known what he is all along! Great job illustrating her thoughts – it feels like out-of-control downhill skiing. At no point does she get a clue what would be the best tactic.

Sad: ‘It wasn't supposed to happen like this...he was supposed to tell me himself, when he was ready.’

Sniffle: ‘I want to be the girl with the red ribbon again.’

Downright scary:
‘I have never seen Edward more like a vampire than right now...his posture, his face, his voice. His eyes.
He takes some more steps, circling me slowly.’

Oh my gosh: "That's what you want from me..." he hisses. "Your first attempt failed so you want to try again, for immortality."
Seems to me that in canon, he wasn’t confident that she wanted to be with him more than she wanted immortality.

Whoa:
‘And now the truth comes rushing out, I'm almost incoherent in my desperation to explain. "I was attacked, bitten...but the...the venom was sucked out...by you."’

Well described: ‘I watch the shock leave Edward's face as the shutters come down, fast. He's locked me out.’

There’s something about this reaction:
‘"This is true?" he gasps.’
It really shows how much he must be struggling. How shocking to find out that this is at least part of the lost memory from Forks! And then to find out that his family “conspired” to keep the truth from him.

She's really between rock and a hard place:
‘I don't know what to do, but I've started talking so I keep going - he needs to know.’

"You all thought you knew what was best for me?"
The shoe’s on the other foot, buddy! But of course he believes that everyone he trusted has betrayed him.

Yikes, could it have gone any worse?
‘The betrayal in his face and his voice slices through my heart. He's beyond hurt...this has shattered him.’

Wow, when he pivots from regret at losing his hopes for their developing relationship, to that hard, sarcastic tone... Ouch doesn’t cover it.

At least when she shouts at him he stops for a moment. Then holy crow, she lets him have it for having made the same kind of unilateral “for your own good” decision!
‘I'm still yelling, I'm on an angry roll but I'm not sure now if I'm angry with Edward, or myself, or his family for choosing to keep him in the dark. I don't know if this is about now in Portland, or two years ago in Forks.’

What a great phrase: “My life has revolved around your lie…”
For two years, not a couple of weeks!

Sigh, after he returns from stalking off into the woods: ‘His eyes are not so dark now, but they're sad. He's so lost and I just want to hold him but I know I can't. He won't let me, not yet. I wonder if he ever will.’

And how could she possibly refuse a straightforward request for the truth, “from the beginning”?

Wow again:
"It's as though you're telling me about characters in a book, or a film," he says softly. "I don't know who they are, they might not even be real."
So apparently this isn’t going to shake his memories loose.

Aww:
"Bella, if you were exposed to such danger with me, if I treated you so badly, why would you want to be with me again?"
My answer falls simply and honestly from my lips.
"Because I love you. I never stopped. I never will. And I was hoping we'd have another chance."
That was brave of her.

Geez, the silence on the hike back to the car (in the dark!) and the ride home. Nervewracking.

Oh my, I didn’t expect this:
"I am so very sorry I hurt you, Bella. More sorry than you will ever know."

I guess – at least he believed her?
deemockingbird chapter 20 . 10/13/2016
Thank you for this story. I haven't loved fic like this in a long time. Cant believe I haven't found your stories before now.
Renee Aubin chapter 7 . 10/10/2016
Ah, Torvill & Dean, brings back memories. Well if Bella DID know who they were, it would probably discourage her from trying it herself.

You know, I’m glad that Bella hasn’t changed so much that she’d go out shopping for something to wear on her date. But Alice would be proud of how she assembled a workable and attractive outfit from trawling her own wardrobe.

Good one: "The visions aren't like watching television, it's not like the scene selection option on a DVD."

Oh yumm, the joys of a well tailored garment. On Edward. Even yummier: ‘In this coat, with his bronze hair windswept and hanging over his amber eyes, he is beyond gorgeous.’

This repeated line is so reminiscent of canon Edward:
"I won't let you fall, remember?"

Sounds about right: ‘His bronze hair hangs down as he works, he's so close, I want to pull my fingers through his hair and have to sit on my hands to stop myself.’

Oh my goodness: ‘So was this why he suggested ice skating? So he could touch me? The thought is sweet and sad all at once.’

Wow: ‘His icy touch sends fire racing through my veins, like I'm alight on the inside and my body is truly warm for the first time since he left me.’

Another line that makes me sigh:
‘Pressed against him, my whole body breathes a sigh of relief, like it's been tied in knots for two years and now the knots have unraveled and slipped undone…’

What a lovely date. And good for him!
‘"I want to try on my own," I tell him. I half expect him to frown and suggest perhaps I shouldn't, but he doesn't. Instead he smiles, slowly unwinds his arm from around my waist and holds on to my hand.’

He sure reacted to seeing the bookmark in her hand, didn’t he? I wonder what exactly that was about.

Didn’t expect this:
‘…The dim lights from the dashboard illuminate his features, the shadows hollowing out his cheekbones and under his eyes. In this light his beauty really is supernatural, he does look like a vampire…’

She has to do so much self-censoring:
‘How long before I make another slip? How long before I mention Charlie by name? Or make some unintentional reference about Forks? Even if he tells me the truth of who he is, I'll still have to pretend I haven't known him before. Even if he kisses me I'll have to act like I've never kissed him before.’
As emotionally volatile as the whole situation is, I can’t imagine she’ll manage it for long.

Sobering: ‘With every step forward we take, it's a step further from the truth.’

Definitely an improvement over canon:
"I'm not exactly a reckless choice, Bella, but I am an informed decision."
Not least because it recognizes she gets to make the decision!

Oh holy crap – the story turns on a dime! They’re having such a lovely day, each wanting to prolong their time together, and then he spots her scar. Now what?
Mussh chapter 20 . 10/10/2016
Honestly, this fanfic, hands down is the best I've ever read with the "Edward and Bella get back together after he leaves" kind of background. I pretty much read this non stop all day today and love it so much. I was a bit worried in the beginning about how Edward's memory loss would effect the plot and how long that would continue but everything was just written so good! Thanks for the great read :D
Isamuso chapter 20 . 10/9/2016
Whar a terrific read. Well done and thank you for all the time and talent you put into this charming story.
Renee Aubin chapter 6 . 10/3/2016
Nice:
‘The Edward I knew before would have agonised. He would have shut down and shut me out. He would have turned everything on himself. Blamed himself…
But this Edward didn't think about himself, he thought about me.’

Ooh, good for her: ‘I can't let all my thoughts, my decisions, my life, revolve around something that might not happen. I did that once before, I won't do it again.’

You did such a great job portraying his nervousness before he gifts Bella with a “new birthday”. It was nerve-wracking to have to wait to see where he was going with this.

Also a great job on how much his thoughtfulness meant to Bella.

Snicker, typical guy-girl misunderstanding:
‘"You're crying?" He's suddenly aghast.’

Excellent moment, after Bella impulsively hugs him:
‘His eyes are dark now, and wide as he stares down at me, watching me warily, like I'm a snake about to strike. I'm reminded of his words that day in the meadow...I wasn't expecting you to come so close.’

An interesting choice that she doesn’t even pretend to offer him a slice of cake. And then:
‘…I'm left open-mouthed and staring when he picks up some crumbs and licks them from his fingers.’
Definitely open-mouthed and staring!

Wow: ‘As I'm speaking I realise that Edward and I have never had this part of the year. I knew him from January to September. We never had Halloween, or Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or New Years.’

Nicely said: ‘He smirks softly, as though laughing at some private joke. It reminds me of the school cafeteria in Forks, when it felt like he spoke in riddles and code. But now I've broken the code, I'm in on the joke…’

This would definitely be difficult: ‘…trying to digest this reshuffle amongst the Cullen household.’
I think I’d be doomed to make mistakes.

Oh, interesting way to approach the big question:
"Would you ever be friends with someone you probably shouldn't?"
I liked Bella’s measured responses to this line of questioning, too.

After skydiving is dismissed as too dangerous, a lovely moment:
‘Edward laughs, it's a beautiful sound as he throws back his head and I'm grinning. My heart slows, my body relaxes.’

And what an interesting way to ask THIS question:
"Bella, is there anyone who would mind me being here with you?"

Oh, the patience this whole course of action requires:
‘"I'll see you around," he says. I want to ask when but I bite my lip - have some dignity, Bella. Let nature take its course.’

Wonderful:
"You're asking me out? On a date?"
"I...yes I am."

A very sweet, and promising, final moment.
Ticcing Bat chapter 20 . 9/29/2016
so good x
Renee Aubin chapter 5 . 9/26/2016
An interesting perspective:
‘For almost two years Edward had struggled and now, just when he'd thought he might have been finding his way again, his whole world had been thrown into disarray and doubt and confusion.’
It’s easy to forget that Bella is not the only one who has been suffering and striving.

Wow: ‘Two years ago he'd been broken and humbled and there was nothing unique about him any more.’
It’s amazing that when he looks at the time that has elapsed since he left Bella, the significant issues have nothing to do with her.

Oh my goodness: ‘He'd almost made a mistake with Kate and the thought of what could have happened made him wince. He was glad now that he hadn't acted on his loneliness.’
Makes perfect sense, though, when he had no memory of Bella.

Excellent conversation between Edward and Esme. For one thing, we readers know what Esme knows, and how hard she must be working to keep from giving away any hints. Your description of Edward prowling around the room was vivid, too.

Wonderful illustration of how meeting Bella has unsettled him:
‘"I thought I was back on track. I thought I knew where I was going again," he slammed an open palm against the wood and the glass rattled. "But now, now..." He exhaled sharply… "I've met a girl," he whispered.’

“…she's human and I shouldn't even be thinking about her. I don't even understand why I'm thinking about her."
Surely he has no other memory of a human, let alone a young woman, ever catching his attention.

Smile, after Edward describes what stands out to him about Bella: ‘"That's quite a list," Esme said quietly.’

Fascinating: "There was nothing at first, nothing at all. … She was just like any other human, except the first time I saw her she was holding the bookmark I'd lost."
So there was not the least jolt of recognition.

Hmm, makes sense that Bella’s racing heart and paleness were interpreted by him as having scared her.

It’s so intriguing to see those first days from Edward’s POV. "I didn't give her another thought until I saw her a week later.” And even then ‘Bella Swan had faded from his thoughts as soon as his back had turned…’
But in the music store, when Bella has to deal with an obnoxious customer, “…suddenly I wanted to walk over there and plant myself in front of her."
How puzzling for him.

Pretty funny that the odd mix of CDs resulted from him simply picking up a stack from a display, to make his checkout process last longer.

A totally believable plan on his part, capped by a particularly wonderful phrase:
‘He had gone back to school and watched her from a distance, determined to discover that she was actually boring and dull and not the silver lining to his constant cloud cover.’

Oh, if only she’d known this: ‘…the first time he saw her stumble over a tree root and his hands shot out reflexively to catch her, even though he was on the other side of the campus lawn.’
He’s so baffled: ‘Why did he care what she felt?’

Nicely said: ‘Edward could explain it, he just didn't want to - he wanted to keep it all to himself, that feeling like he was falling from a great height, like the world had dropped away and he was spiralling through space, not knowing where he was going...or where he would end up.’

I enjoyed that they are both fans of the “Hitchhiker’s Guide” series. And that’s why he smiled when looking at her bookshelf.

Good thing he didn’t share the details of the word association debacle – Esme would have known exactly what Bella meant, and it would have been hard to avoid reacting.

Oh boy, ‘his quiet rage on her behalf’ for the destroyed birthday – it’s going to be tough when he learns the truth. ‘…the thought of anything, or anyone, ever hurting her, was unbearable.’

That was quite an unconscious mannerism he developed – rubbing over his heart when something about Bella upset him.

Aww, he didn’t leave after finishing the word association because “I wanted to make her smile again...when she smiles..." He dropped his head. "I like it when she smiles."
So sweet.

Delightful: ‘"Telling jokes. It was fun." Edward said this like it was the greatest puzzle in the world.’

Hmm, surprising that when Esme asks why he thinks nothing could come of his interest in Bella, he responds like this:
‘"You've seen my red eyes," he whispered.’
So he’s focusing on how dangerous he can be?

Go, Esme: “I've heard your confessions and seen your remorse, Edward. And I've seen your eyes turn gold again, and stay gold for the past seventy four years."

Wow: “But with this girl, Bella, any control I've clawed back over the past two years has just...vanished.”

Good for Esme for asking such a simple, straightforward question – and what a revealing answer:
"I just want to ask you one thing...do you like Bella, Edward?"
… "It's only the last few hours I've realised just how important her happiness is to me."

Oh my gosh!
“I keep telling myself I'm definitely not the best person for Bella to be around. But then I think..."
This was what he'd been warring over as he lay on his couch earlier. "But then I think that's not my decision to make."
Very promising!

Lovely, from Esme: “…if Bella likes you, let her."

Laughing out loud – well imagined:
‘Jumping off cliffs and being tossed around in storm-ravaged seas was like the vampire equivalent of riding a roller-coaster.’
And a creepy echo of canon Bella’s cliff-jumping ... which didn’t happen in this time line, right?

P.S. I am really confused by FFn's review posting - I posted this 3 days ago while logged in and it has never arrived, yet FFn tells me I've already reviewed and won't let me post it again. So I logged out and tried it that way... Sigh.
Renee Aubin chapter 5 . 9/24/2016
An interesting perspective:
‘For almost two years Edward had struggled and now, just when he'd thought he might have been finding his way again, his whole world had been thrown into disarray and doubt and confusion.’
It’s easy to forget that Bella is not the only one who has been suffering and striving.

Wow: ‘Two years ago he'd been broken and humbled and there was nothing unique about him any more.’
It’s amazing that when he looks at the time that has elapsed since he left Bella, the significant issues have nothing to do with her.

Oh my goodness: ‘He'd almost made a mistake with Kate and the thought of what could have happened made him wince. He was glad now that he hadn't acted on his loneliness.’
Makes perfect sense, though, when he had no memory of Bella.

Excellent conversation between Edward and Esme. For one thing, we readers know what Esme knows, and how hard she must be working to keep from giving away any hints. Your description of Edward prowling around the room was vivid, too.

Wonderful illustration of how meeting Bella has unsettled him:
‘"I thought I was back on track. I thought I knew where I was going again," he slammed an open palm against the wood and the glass rattled. "But now, now..." He exhaled sharply… "I've met a girl," he whispered.’

“…she's human and I shouldn't even be thinking about her. I don't even understand why I'm thinking about her."
Surely he has no other memory of a human ever catching his attention.

Smile, after Edward describes what stands out to him about Bella: ‘"That's quite a list," Esme said quietly.’

Fascinating: "There was nothing at first, nothing at all. … She was just like any other human, except the first time I saw her she was holding the bookmark I'd lost."
So there was not the least jolt of recognition. Hmm, makes sense that Bella’s racing heart and paleness were interpreted by him as having scared her.

It’s so intriguing to see those first days from Edward’s POV. "I didn't give her another thought until I saw her a week later.” And even then ‘Bella Swan had faded from his thoughts as soon as his back had turned…’
But in the music store, when Bella has to deal with an obnoxious customer, “…suddenly I wanted to walk over there and plant myself in front of her."
How puzzling for him.

Pretty funny that the odd mix of CDs resulted from him simply picking up a stack from a display, to make his checkout process last longer.

A totally believable plan on his part, capped by a particularly wonderful phrase:
‘He had gone back to school and watched her from a distance, determined to discover that she was actually boring and dull and not the silver lining to his constant cloud cover.’

Oh, if only she’d known this: ‘…the first time he saw her stumble over a tree root and his hands shot out reflexively to catch her, even though he was on the other side of the campus lawn.’
He’s so baffled: ‘Why did he care what she felt?’

Nicely said: ‘Edward could explain it, he just didn't want to - he wanted to keep it all to himself, that feeling like he was falling from a great height, like the world had dropped away and he was spiralling through space, not knowing where he was going...or where he would end up.’

I enjoyed that they are both fans of the “Hitchhiker’s Guide” series. And that’s why he smiled when looking at her bookshelf.

Good thing he didn’t share the details of the word association debacle – Esme would have known exactly what Bella meant, and it would have been hard to avoid reacting.

Oh boy, ‘his quiet rage on her behalf’ for the destroyed birthday – it’s going to be tough when he learns the truth. ‘…the thought of anything, or anyone, ever hurting her, was unbearable.’

That was quite an unconscious mannerism he developed – rubbing over his heart when something about Bella upset him.

Aww, he didn’t leave after finishing the word association because “I wanted to make her smile again...when she smiles..." He dropped his head. "I like it when she smiles."
So sweet.

Smile: ‘"Telling jokes. It was fun." Edward said this like it was the greatest puzzle in the world.’

Hmm, surprising that when Esme asks why he thinks nothing could come of his interest in Bella, he responds like this:
‘"You've seen my red eyes," he whispered.’
So he’s focusing on how dangerous he can be?

Go, Esme: “I've heard your confessions and seen your remorse, Edward. And I've seen your eyes turn gold again, and stay gold for the past seventy four years."

Wow: “But with this girl, Bella, any control I've clawed back over the past two years has just...vanished.”

Good for Esme for asking such a simple, straightforward question – and what a revealing answer:
"I just want to ask you one thing...do you like Bella, Edward?"
… "It's only the last few hours I've realised just how important her happiness is to me."

Oh my gosh!
“I keep telling myself I'm definitely not the best person for Bella to be around. But then I think..."
This was what he'd been warring over as he lay on his couch earlier. "But then I think that's not my decision to make."
Very promising!

Lovely, from Esme: “…if Bella likes you, let her."

Laughing out loud – well imagined:
‘Jumping off cliffs and being tossed around in storm-ravaged seas was like the vampire equivalent of riding a roller-coaster.’
And a creepy echo of canon Bella’s cliff-jumping ... which maybe didn’t happen in this time line?
Cherylstweedy chapter 20 . 9/22/2016
I know I read part of this in the past, but rereading it this week was such a joy. I loved Bella's struggle early on and the development of both characters. Also loved the unique concept regarding Edward. I've read stories where Bella has memory issues, but never Edward.
Renee Aubin chapter 4 . 9/17/2016
Nicely said: ‘He's sitting at the desk where Alex and I usually work and I feel like the world has disappeared and there's only me, and Edward, and the five or six yards that lies between us.’

Starting a conversation, ‘Miraculously, I sound much more casual than I feel…’ Smile.

Oh, ouch! ‘I wonder what he's made of it in the past when he's no doubt heard [her heart] shatter and break. What does it sound like then?’
Probably exactly what he's wanting to forget.

A little break in her tension, thank goodness: ‘…his expression is clear and open now when I look up and it occurs to me that maybe he's trying to make conversation too. The thought is very welcome.’

Poor Ellie. Hmm, would he have acted on his impulse to ask Bella to be his “victim” if Ellie hadn’t been there pushing?

This is nerve-wracking! ‘…I watch the movement of his throat as he swallows hard. Venom pooling, perhaps. Or maybe just nerves. I wonder which it is. And why.’
How is she going to come up with enough patience to keep doing this?

Awesome line: ‘My heart is running around in my chest, looking for something to high-five.’

Good for her, when Edward’s about to arrive at her apartment: ‘I've deliberately not contacted Alice. I want to do this on my own...I want to let nature take its course, wherever it might lead me.’

Aww: ‘…I want to sweep my hand over [the rain drops in his hair], wiping them away like I would have done once before, but can't now.’

This was tough: ‘…he settles himself instead into the rocking chair and I'm taken back to my bedroom in Forks, and waking up that first morning after the meadow and seeing him sitting there.’

Oh my gosh, his human memory of the snow globe he had as a kid! I wonder if that memory shook loose as part of the damage.

A good detail: ‘"Are you ready?" he asks. It's a sharp change of direction and makes me remember what it is like to keep up with him.’

It seems promising that he’s curious about her mother … reminds me of the early “20 questions” days.
A definite smile: ‘I don't mention that his curiosity has made me all sorts of happy.’
Good catch not mentioning Charlie by name. It's interesting that he would have not have developed much of a memory of Jacob before he left.

Oh! Her response to “birthday” is just perfect, and kind of made my stomach drop. But how to control the inevitable emotional response?
‘I just can't help it...having him here, the memory of my birthday, what happened to him afterwards, and to me...I feel the tears burning and I know he can smell them…’
How confusing to have him apologizing now for upsetting her, with no connection to the really awful thing he did then…

Smart girl: ‘The disastrous birthday was more than two years ago, it's holding me back and I have to let it go. If I'm going to have a future with Edward, or any future at all, I have to let it go.’
Even if my mind worked quickly and clearly enough to understand that … how to respond now?

Arrrggh: ‘"What word was it?" I want to know, but he shakes his head. A small ripple of frustration runs through me. He always did this, treated me like he knew best.’
Impressive that she presses him to let her make her own decision about whether she’s OK to continue. Quite a turning point: ‘I keep my voice low and steady and calm and I realise it's very different from the almost frantic, desperate tone I would use when I knew him before…’

Astonishing that he thinks to cheer her up after unintentionally upsetting her by telling her a joke! Very human. Maybe this is something he learned from watching Emmett?

Sniffle: "That's better," he says softly, "I like to see you smile. And laugh."

Oh my: ‘When I look up again he's staring at me with a new intensity that makes my blood sing and my heart soar and our eyes lock for a second before he looks away, almost as though it's too much.’

Ha ha: ‘A knock knock joke? Edward? Really?’
And actually I love that joke!

How sweet, and what a relief: ‘…the two of us are giggling so much we can hardly speak.’

‘"Goodnight." But in the hallway he stops and turns. "You're in the library every Tuesday?"
My heart does a little leap.’
Most definitely!

What a great idea for how to move things forward a step.
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