Reviews for Snow White, Blood Red
SweetnSour333 chapter 7 . 4/22/2013
OHYGOSHYOUNEEDTOUPDATESOONIWANTTOKNOWWHEREYOUWILLT AKETHISSTORYNEXTAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

*breaths heavily* Ok so I really like it even though YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME WHEN THE LITTLE GUY SAID MR. WINK WAS DEAD! "But no matter, we over look, now we are wiping clean the sleight."

Next chapter soon? -
SweetnSour333 chapter 6 . 4/22/2013
Oh my god oh my god oh my god sorry can't review got to read! XD . . . I love this fanfic!
SweetnSour333 chapter 5 . 4/22/2013
THE IS A BRILEANT SUCSES KEEP WRITING PLEASE!

On a calmer note *clears throat* I love the way you write and I wish I knew exactly who came up with what in the story so can compliment each of you individually. So Mr. Wink is awesome and I love how you are introducing the characters to the movie carachters. Now I have to say I am a bit worried about Geoff, where the hell is he? Oh we'll I'll jus read the next chapter and see if he turns up.
SweetnSour333 chapter 4 . 4/22/2013
Yay King Balor live but now we are lost . . . well crap.

Time to read the next chapter!
SweetnSour333 chapter 3 . 4/22/2013
I really like it! At first I was a little worried about how you were goig to explain the movie and now she is in the move. But all is well now! - Also the main OC character seems a little more . . . broken then in the second chapert. Is that intentional?

Can't wait for Abe to get into the action and I hope Mr. Wink will be saved!
SweetnSour333 chapter 2 . 4/22/2013
LA your are doing a fantabulous job with this story! I love there are three OC characters and that they don't meet Nuada right off the bat (not that that is bad but it's fun to learn more about the characters and then try and guess how they will interact with the others).

So as always I love your work and keep updating as soon as you can because these are actually getting me to read.

Hope all is well! Fairfarren!
Melodeia chapter 2 . 12/24/2012
What I'm about to write now will possibly upset you. I give concrit in all of my reviews, but I feel this may have more crit than my previous ones. I'm sorry.

Bear in my that this is my opinion on something you wrote, it's not intended to hurt you nor is it directed at you as a person. I'm only talking about a work of fiction, and it's just MY personal opinion, MY personal feelings regarding the chapter.

I believe that when people come here to read fanfiction do it because they love the canon characters and their story. And they want more of it all.

It's the same for me.

I am all good with OC's, I love them, really, and I use them in my story too, but I believe they have to be somehow eased into the plotline and not be the center of attention for long, and most certainly to not put the canon characters in the background. This was chapter one only, and it had pretty much nothing about the canon characters. The small prologue had more.

Do you see where I'm getting at?

I was so very disappointed when I reached the last lines of this installment and discovered there wasn't a Nuada, Hellboy or Abe in there. At least not as an active character (I caught the references in there). 6k words and pretty much zero on canon.

I felt cheated.

I felt this was more original fiction than fanfiction.

Also, another reason for easing the OC's into a story is: they're new and people (me in this case) might not give a damn about them. There's not much of a reason for readers to do it, they're characters that have been dropped into our lap out of nowhere. There's no emotional connection, no reason for people to read on, eager to find out what happens to them next (in original fiction, you know you will be dealing with original characters and go reading with that mindset, in fanfiction, you're in love with the canon). That takes time. I'm sure I'll grow attached to every OC in here, but as far as THIS chapter goes, I just did not care about them.

I mean no disrespect here, I know you have put a lot of work into this chapter and into your story. Every writer does that, more so the ones that work a lot on their drafts before publishing anything. Like you.

I like your writing style, I like your descriptions and I like the fact that you have original ideas. I like your style of world building (you are so thorough, you engage all of your readers' sense, your visuals are sublime).

There's a LOT I like.

But please let me know if this is going to be OC-centric, as I do not wish to read that (my desired OC/canon ratio is 50-50 tops, including the OC enemies without which you can't write much in this action-filled universe). I will go read something else, because, as I said, I like your style. It's much better than most writers' on here. It shows that you have put in a lot of hours, that you have truly been practicing your craft and that you're writing your stories with love and care.
Melodeia chapter 1 . 12/24/2012
I like quotes as much as the next person, but I believe you could have come up with something much better than what Miss Gabaldon has written. Not to mention I disagree with half of that. Journalists don't care that much about missing people, unless they're celebrities or it's a murder case.

A phantom walked the halls of this house. Tasted the memories soaked into its walls.

- I loved this part. A lot. I loved all of your descriptions, but this one was a notch above all others, in my opinion. You just don't see something like this often.

I loved the feeling of ''impending doom'' in this chapter, your magnificent descriptions and your unique details about the life of magical beings, like the links Lords and their vassals have. I don't believe I have encountered that in fanfiction before. Many kudos.

I have a couple of questions/unclear things/suggestions, if I may. Here we go:

For once, the icthyo sapien was entirely at peace. There had been no new cases in several days. Red and Liz, as far as he could currently guage, were getting along perfectly well (for once).

- Repetition here, ''for once''. I think you'll have no problem rewording this part, if you choose to.

The rotten egg in his webbed hand forgotten, he made a full three-sixty rotation in the water, free hand up and palm open, scanning.

- This doesn't make much sense to me: he forgot about the egg, but he makes sure his free hand scans? He would've dropped his food. To me, that sounds more plausible. He'd have been so curious, he'd have frantically (or gently if you so wish) scanned with both hands, since it interrupted his feeling of peace, since it was so sudden.

All he could sense were the bustling, ant-like lives always in the BPRD headquarters.

- The wording here sounds odd to my ears, it has something to do with the addition of the word ''always''. Always what? Always there, always busy, always moving?

Perhaps a strongly gifted psychic child? Extreme psychic ability was very common in those who suffered from mental retardation.

- How did he get to THAT conclusion (the mental retardation part)? Does the BPRD deal with a whole lot of mentally challenged people and as a result, this has been among his first guesses? Was he studying the topic? To me, it doesn't sound plausible, you haven't built up to it.

That would explain the youngness, and possibly the unique aged feeling, of the mind that had touched his. It hadn't felt supernatural the way a demon's mind did. But it hadn't felt human, either.

- This part could've gone before the previous one, as a sort of build-up. With a few changes, of course.

Well, whatever it was, it meant the BPRD no harm. So Abe would say nothing. His own early memories of his first years at the Bureau made him hold his tongue.

- Why is he so sure of it? I would think an agent with his experience would think twice before dismissing a ''strongly gifted'' entity. Perhaps adding the backstory here would make it more believable, but I can't say for sure until I read that.
Guest chapter 7 . 12/14/2012
great ;) more please
Eamane Aldarion chapter 6 . 10/3/2012
Nuada's bain and now it shall be forged into a kinship with humans. Its not a punishment but a path that even he can not stray from.

I really do love the first few chapters, took abit for everyone to fall into their respective roles but well worth it. I have yet to read, Once Upon a Time, I have seen its name but this one's title has captured my attention first and I am looking forward for more chapters.

The thoughts, ideas, dreams of two minds are even more daring than one. When two writers join as one mind its amazing to see what will be to come.

Till both of your next update. Ea

P.S. Great thoughts of the Twelve Kingdoms. I am no an avid writer and always wondered how come no one really ever uses the shuk├Á as a plot starter?! I do love, love the ideas for everything else tossed into your pot! Good choices. ;)
girlmundy chapter 6 . 9/7/2012
I can see Aisling becoming somehow less mentally handicapped in this "other world" than she is in the "real world". She seems to have vision (even if only because she has seen the movie so many times) and purpose here, and of course her somewhat fated connections with Wink, Nuada etc. I see her becoming stronger and more viable in this universe, which will be hugely interesting to see.
I'm a big fan of sisterhood in stories (and real life if so lucky), so Siobhan's protectiveness and concern for Aisling makes me do a happy dance. I am curious to see how each one's relationship with Nuada plays out, and harem fic? Too funny! Never heard that before, and glad this isn't one. The idea of that just doesn't appeal.
Narnian Sprite chapter 5 . 9/3/2012
I think this is a fantastic story, and I know that trying something new can be nerve-wracking, but you're doing and absolutely tremendous job with this. The prose is smooth, the plot has a good speed, and your original characters are interesting individuals. I'm really looking forward to how you bring everything together. Keep up the good work!
ValueMyHeart chapter 5 . 8/3/2012
Super lovely! This is getting really good and I can't wait for more.
Guest chapter 5 . 8/2/2012
it is amazing :)
Guest chapter 3 . 8/2/2012
wow just wow :)
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