Reviews for Beautiful Disaster
laloga chapter 3 . 11/28/2011
Okay, I'm seriously sad all over again. But at the same time, I'm humbled and delighted that you were inclined to write a story about Mi and Honi. Reading this and thinking about it has actually made me look at my own characters in a new way, and for that I thank you!

Lovely job! :D
Queen chapter 3 . 11/23/2011
Wow, wasn't expecting to get a Shadow Squad story to read today!

This is really lovely - it looks like you've done a wonderful job with laloga's characters here, and it's so nice reading something about Honi and Milo (oh Milo, you're missed...).

Milo's thoughts on Honi here are just so sweet, he cares about her so much, and is trying so hard! Love their conversation about the Jedi Code, and that they both follow Codes of their own - Milo makes a good point about not being controlled by "just one code", as well. Honi seems to come to a deeper appreciation that Milo - and all the clones, but extension - are really quite unique and able to think for themselves.

Love Honi's slow acceptance of her feelings for Milo, though it's sad that in the end, she ends up rejecting them. Her fear is understandable, though, I think - it's the only way she's ever really known. Too sad...

But you did a wonderful job with this story! Wonderful work.
laloga chapter 2 . 11/23/2011
Sigh. Something about Mi just screams "angst," I guess. (I'm the worst offender, I know. Poor Milo...)

Anyway, I enjoyed the interaction between the boys of Shadow Squad again, even though it was brief. Loved how Stonewall again played a "big brother" role to young Mi, and the "good luck" moment between them was one of my favorites in the entire story!

Really liked the mental image of Honi politely grimacing throughout the ceremony while everyone else around her is having a grand old time congratulating her on what she considers a normal day's work. Of course, within, she's in turmoil, as Milo's endearing sweetness brings up a host of feelings that she's not really used to dealing with. I suppose it could seem cold-natured of her, as Crest seems to think, but in my mind, she's a storm of contradictions, and I think that you illustrated that very well. She's torn between her heart and her head, and she's just not prepared for the conflict.

I loved Honi's and Mi's conversation about fear, how Milo tried to explain that Jedi were mortal, with mortal emotions - something that I imagine he learned from being in close contact with Kali and watching her deal with her feelings for Stonewall. It was touching to see Milo, in all his "shininess," try to console Honi when he realized she was afraid. And then, of course, he rethinks his own ideas. "Maybe I won't tell her after all..." :P (Side note: loved the description of him "shaking like a newborn bantha calf.")

Loved how Honi kept thinking of the Jedi Code, and trying to reconcile it with her present feelings. It was easy to see how she was able to get so swept up in the moment; the combination of Milo's earnestness and her own attraction to him were overwhelming for her, as she's just not used to letting herself experience such things. Given her history, how she's not one to tie sexual passion with love and emotion, this was a wholly new feeling for her, and I can see how it would be frightening, once the lust had faded and she was left with what remained.

Still though, it was truly sad to see her overwhelmed by her own doubt, and hurry away from him! Poor Milo! I did like that she ran into Kali on her way out, and I loved Kali's simple message to Stone: "Find Milo."

And then...oh the angst. We do love to torture the poor clones, don't we? Great job with this! I know how hard you worked, and it really shows! :D
sachariah chapter 1 . 11/23/2011
laloga had told me you were working on something using Shadow Squad, but I wasn't expecting it this soon. What a pleasant surprise!

Aw... Milo. Sigh, I still miss the guy from the "canon" timeline. He's so clearly starstruck with Honi, and yet it doesn't seem he even really knows what these feelings are. Let alone how to go about addressing them. Of course, we all know that's part of his charm (he actually reminds me a bit of Tup - it's nice to have another shiny to compare OC clones to).

"My mind has been a wandering mess and can use the rest!" [shakes head]. You sure have a good handle on the baldy, no doubt about it. :P

Loved the bits of Kali/Stone you threw in here: "It's the same way when you thought I didn't catch all those cute little stares behind my back."

"You saw those?"

Ha! Love that couple. :)

Speaking of Stone, I really enjoyed his talk with Milo in this chapter. Sure, all the clones are brothers, but the Captain feels like a *real* older brother, as vague as that sounds. He's learned so much, from Kali and even Obi-Wan and others, and his experience really shines when he's giving advice to his younger brothers. Loved the "shoulder grip" - a very "manly" sort of gesture, and it fit the moment perfectly. "You'll know lad."

I was caught off guard when Milo "ran into" Honi - literally, for good measure. I guess that's what it takes to get some folks together, eh? Still, lovely scene - though I did grin at how *long* they kept that position. I was more surprised at how... "open", Honi seemed. A very interesting twist. I wonder if perhaps being alone, without her Padawan or Kali or anyone else to "impress", if she feels a little more at ease? I guess from one perspective, Honi has no one she can really admit her own doubts or longings to. She'd never speak of it to a Jedi, but perhaps a clone is a safer bet? At any rate, it seems like the admission did her good, then again, I'm likely to call anything good that results in Honi "[taking] a baby step closer into Milo's warm embrace and [settling] into the nook of his arm, her body slightly relaxing." Aw... so sweet! :)

Hmm... I was a little confused with the last scene - it refers to Milo escorting Honi back to the palace. Was that the same as the above incident? Because Honi seemed at ease there, but apparently here she wasn't so cozy: "They had walked in silence; one lost in thought the other trying to figure out what his day had meant if it meant anything. Milo had been adapted at reading body language and the small Jedi beside him was all but relaxed."

I'm guessing this was a second, perhaps more "official" walk? At any rate, it's clear that Honi is quite conflicted about her feelings in this matter. And that can't be helping Milo's self confidence (loved the "shields at 100%" line!). Really enjoyed watching Milo defend Honi from Crest's {playful, I'm sure) comments. He already feels protective of her, even as he doubts he'll ever have anything meaningful with her. Crest has a way of pushing too far at times, and for all his 'shininess', Milo's not soft. But he's vulnerable, I guess, when it comes to Honi.

Great start - looking forward to the rest!
laloga chapter 1 . 11/22/2011
It's a little strange for me to see Kali, Stone and the others and know that I'm not the one who wrote them, but I'm pleased with your handling of Shadow Squad. You've captured many of the dynamics of the group so perfectly, it makes me smile!

Milo...sigh. He's such a shiny, but his heart is in the right place. Of course, his foot is usually in his mouth, but that's part of his charm, all of which you've got spot-on. Loved his thoughts on Honi here: "He was infatuated by her. Admired her. Really liked her." The whole time he's trying to rein in his feelings, but naturally they seem to overwhelm him. :) I loved the moment when he put his arm around Honi's shoulder, towards the end of the chapter; it shows that, despite his "shininess," he's really quite brave to try such a thing. Even Stonewall was never that forward with Kali before they were an "item."

"But if I had to fall on someone, I'm glad it was you." XD Oh, Milo! Too funny! Love how you've written him, here. He's so torn between his attraction to the red-haired Jedi and his understanding that she probably doesn't feel the same way, but darn it if he can't help himself from flirting with her in his own, innocent way.

Honi's a tricky character to write, and I like that you toned her down a bit. She's definitely walking a line around Milo - intrigued by him, to be sure, but also committed to her duty and her role as a Jedi. Having unconventional Kali for a former Master probably doesn't help the conflict within her, but I do think it gives her a push in the right direction, or at least in the direction of following her heart.

"My mind has been a wandering mess..." Crest! Wow...the guy makes me laugh even when I don't write him, love that line! :D And this one, too: "Did you run into a certain somebody, and did she freeze you in place with her ice blue beacon of pessimism?" Such a way with words, that bald-headed fellow has. I really liked how you captured his propensity for teasing his "little brother" while also including a bit of humble-ness at the end; he ultimately doesn't mean any harm, he just gets carried away. Also loved how Weave played the role of peacemaker between the other two; lovely job with him. :)

Kali & Stone: these two are the closest to my heart, and I'm pleased at your portrayal. Loved Kali's comment about the "little looks" that Stone gave her behind her back! It is difficult for the other clones, I think, to have such a relationship so close to home. It makes them see just how much they're missing out on, but I'm glad that Stone was able to offer some kind of counsel to Mi. Loved how Kali and Stone were kind of the parental figures of the group as well.

I can't review the other chapters right now, but I promise I will, soon. Lovely job! All of your hard work really paid off. :D