|Reviews for Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds|
| Hunter of Slytherclaw chapter 1 . 11/29/2011
Really great story, I think you captured lily and severus's reactions perfectly!
| JPLE chapter 1 . 11/22/2011
This was sweet and sad, and I think you did a good job at capturing the character's emotions. I have a couple of hints though - simply as constructive criticism so please don't take this to mean I didn't enjoy the story:
1) Lily Evans' name had one 'L', not two
2) you need to make sure when you're writing dialogue you use commas. For example - you often put a full stop at the end of the quotation marks even when you go on to describe how the character said something - "I don't care if you meant it or not, Sev, you can't call people that anymore." Lily said hotly, refusing to look at him. - this should be - "I don't care if you meant it or not Sev, you can't call people that anymore," Lily said hotly, refusing to look at him - can you see the difference?
3) You also need to watch for comma and period use within the story itself - you often have disjointed sentences owing to too much period use - the use of a beta will help you here, I would really reccomend one not just for you, but for everyone who doesn't have flawless grammar (including myself!)
Overall, I think it was a really good attempt at capturing the moment - with some grammatical improvement I think this could be really touching :)