|Reviews for Deception|
| Artwing7 chapter 28 . 2/9
Good job! I cried so so much in this story its ridiculous! This is probably my favorite story!
For theme songs I could only come up with Nightflights and Hiccups.
So for Hiccup,
Faded by Alan Walker, it just reminds me of him in this story because he needs Toothless and he's wondering, "Where are you now?" And because he cant find him he's fading.
Rolling in the deep by Adele.
This just reminds me of her, not sure why, by after reading this, I cant listen to that song without thinking of her.
Yay! Good job!
| Artwing7 chapter 22 . 2/9
I rewrote the lyrics posted at the top of the page, to fit better with the story:)
You looked down
The horror across your face,
Memories slipped into place
You said,"What have I done?"
You loved that boy,
With every dragon bone.
And there you wept alone,
Your heart started to Break...
| Guest chapter 6 . 2/9
I am crying! I am literally sobbing my brains out! Well written besides the fact I want to murder Nightflight, then raise her from the dead and kill her again and again, so Toothless won't be hypnotized anymore! ;'( This chapter is so sad! ;'( tears of sadness!
| BTCHPLZ chapter 29 . 8/18/2015
I had been crying like hell cuz i thought hiccup died or some shit then toothless killed nightflight then toothless wont let hiccup get close to him ITS A FUCKING ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS!
| Demonic girl111 chapter 28 . 7/21/2015
(Screams in fangirlish delight) AWESOOOOOOOOOOOME!
| Demonic girl111 chapter 25 . 7/21/2015
I think the perfect song for Hiccup is "Naughty" from Matilda the Musical.
| Demonic girl111 chapter 21 . 7/21/2015
Oh Odin's beard.
| Demonic girl111 chapter 15 . 7/21/2015
I just... Wanna... Strangle... This bîtch. (Tries to reach through the screen to grab the female dragons neck, failing miserably)
| Demonic girl111 chapter 14 . 7/21/2015
The ice cracked didn't it?
| Demonic girl111 chapter 10 . 7/21/2015
FÛCK FÛCK FÛCK FÛCK! FÛCKY FÛCKY FÛCKY YOU!
| Demonic girl111 chapter 6 . 7/21/2015
This chapter made me cry. HOW DARE YOU?!
| Demonic girl111 chapter 4 . 7/21/2015
I'm just going to come out and say it. I HATE NIGHTFLIGHT. I HOPE SHE BURNS IN HEL.
| Cloaked Glydr chapter 6 . 6/11/2015
You wanna know what Nightflight reminds me of? She reminds me of freaking Lady Macbeth.
| Greathron chapter 13 . 2/18/2015
Now he starts figuring out... DA:) Love the book so far!
| Millie30Abe chapter 6 . 1/14/2015
Hi Sandfire Kat, first off I want to say that you have composed a brilliant—amazing story here that has built up much suspense and drama which then leads to a sensational climax which has me all up in collywobbles (butterflies in my stomach). Not just any work of literature can do this to me so your story is something special and unique. I love the concept, the plot, and the thought put into this story. So let me get on with what I have to say about this story.
Nightflight. I love the way that you wrote her.
I love her because I hate her, if that makes sense. First off she has this ultimate goal to get Toothless back to "where he belongs" and she is completely determined to complete do exactly that. I can tell that she is very stubborn as well for she doesn't let Hiccup do his gypsy tricks on her and remains wild. Along with this, she is also very arrogant of her kind, which I like. She shows her arrogance by antagonizing humans, specifically Hiccup, and essentially writing them off as inferior to her superior race. (On a personal note, I've always considered Night Furies to be like this all-powerful being that outmatches any other species and because it is done here, that just makes me like this story even more. But honestly, Nightflight is just crazy about that). But past all these traits, there is a loving and caring side to her. All she wants is for Toothless to be with her and she shows remorse and kindness towards Toothless when Hiccup is gone. She is also very smart.
She reasons with Toothless and effectively uses logic to the point where Toothless questions his relationship with Hiccup.
So Nightflight, as the main antagonist is a very interesting one. I see her as a sweet and sour character. When she is around Toothless she shows her loving and caring side and she does I can't help but feel sympathetic. For her to be as close to Toothless as she was and for him to just vanish would make almost anyone want to search for him again. However, she only reveals this side of her using her special ability which is one of the reasons why I fell in love with her.
Now I'm going to say that I just loved how she had the ability to hypnotize any being and twist their will to her own. Even though this thing is what makes her the antagonist, it's a real selling point for me, because I do like hypnosis when it's done right and believe me your story, Kat, does it beautifully. (I like her ability so much that if you can, could you possible provide some backstory on how she got this ability? I don't recall it in the story, if it is then I completely missed it and I'm a dodo. But thanks in advance). So with this ability, she basically severs Toothless' and Hiccup's relationship and has her way. I, along with many other readers, hate her because of that. Because that's just...! but the thing about this scene is that it creates emotional turmoil not only in Hiccup but to the reader as well. That scene and Hiccup and Toothless' reunion got me all tear-eyed and sniffy; I'd say that it shows this story has a lot more than the usual fanfiction stuff. Overall, Nightflight was written perfectly you did a fantastic job on her personality traits and creating her special ability, which I simply love. I think she is one of the strongest points of your story so congratulations to you on a job well done on that. I'd love to know more about her. (I don't know about Toothless but I would love to be with her even if she would kill me because I human. Tell her I'll be watching her and if she need someone...*wink*) Onwards!
Deception is great story about drama, conflict, and of course deception. Nightflight essentially hypnotizes Toothless into doing what she wants and Hiccup is left to wonder what is going on. What I'm going to say about Hiccup is that he is on par with the story. He is shown as his usual, curious self who wants to be the peacemaker in this conflict. I feel that he resembles Hiccup from the film. This story takes a bold step in that Hiccup simply lets Toothless go with the self-flying tailfin, but after observing all that had happened beforehand I feel that it's what Hiccup would have done. He just wants Toothless to be happy with him and resolve this conflict with no bloodshed, which is what his father suggested, but of course he rejected. Hiccup then goes on to give Toothless the tailfin and him and Nightflight leave Berk. Hiccup does feel like Hiccup and not only that but he also feels like a human being—a 3 dimensional character. He is faced with difficult option and after exercising everything he could do it came down to doing it the Viking way or his personal way. Both have huge consequences, but in order to have what's best for his friend Toothless, he does what he has to do. Of course afterwards he goes after his friend, just as crazy as he did it before. Having him go alone is a 50-50 for me. I would think he would have the gang come along with him, but then again it is between him and Toothless so I'm not sure what to say about that. Regardless, I believe he was written amazing along with Nightflight so great job on that too Kat.
Having dragons talk was an interesting move but one that doesn't harm the story, I will say that. Toothless was written pretty much good. He cares for Hiccup and has a strong bond with him that makes Toothless put his trust in Hiccup in anything they do together, that is until Nightflight comes along. I do like how his character shifts from his usual bond with Hiccup to eventually distrusting and hating Hiccup when Nightflight comes along. Going back to Hiccup, I feel he should have known something was up with the two of them as soon as Toothless stopped reacting the way he normally does. Toothless just simply doesn't care for his human anymore without outside influence. It's one of the things that I feel could have been done better, but was good nonetheless. Back to Toothless, the effects of Nightflight's eyes are apparent (to the reader) and he ends up becoming a slave to Nightflight's will. One problem I have with him is that he never gets away from Nightflight or anything of that sort. I think he should have gotten away from Nightflight as soon as she started harming Hiccup really. If she is not going to play nice with Hiccup then Toothless ought to get protective of Hiccup. I'm talking about when Hiccup is first trying to get Nightflight to trust him and she only harms him. Of course later on she controls Toothless, but what's stopping him from protecting Hiccup from her before she does her thing. That's the only real problem I have with Toothless, other than that I conclude that he is well written.
I do feel the plot itself is great. I don't see many problems with it and I think it was executed great. I don't really have anything to say about it other than it was well thought out and took into consideration of everyone's personality and how they would react to particular situations. I can tell that the author is mighty talented for being able to accomplish this. Praise to her!
One problems I have with the story is that first of all the rest of the Night Furies I feel are weak. They didn't leave much of an impact on me as much as Nightflight did and are forgettable. They are not bad, they do have some good traits to them, but nothing stands out with them. Overall, I feel that they could have been done better. I would have tried to give each of them something unique to them, whether it be appearance, personality, etc. and emphasize that part of them, but also show that they have other traits too under certain conditions. I do feel that in the sequel Revelation that this is done incredibly well. So I see you have learned from this.
I've mentioned the problems I had with Hiccup and Toothless and I feel that this story does has some minor things wrong but they do not impact the plot in any significant way that hinders or destroys the story.
In essence, Deception is a story that distinguishes itself by adding a beautiful and well thought-out plot which is great from beginning to end. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time and the collywobbles just kept coming and coming. I would like to thank Sandfire Kat for composing this incredible story along with her other stories which I have yet to read/finish. You have made a remarkable adventure which I will continue coming back to whenever I need a good story to read. Thank you Kat and keep on creating stories like these that will be in the back of the minds of many readers such as me. Have a great and wonderful day from yours truly. (I want to be with Nightflight and look into her eyes...)
Apologies if this review is a bit sloppy, it was composed 4 in the morning so I probably couldn't get everything I wanted to say about it. But I got my main point across. Oh and sorry for spelling errors my typing needs work. Thanks again for your time if you read this and I can't wait to read what else you have in store.