|Reviews for Sue Me, Mary Sue|
| The Red Jacket chapter 3 . 1/15/2013
You've absolutely got to do 'jO bekke at HUgwRts'! Please! Great story, by the way!
| Anonymous chapter 3 . 7/21/2012
My Immortal, right?
| Luna Brightside chapter 8 . 7/21/2012
aaah. Can you kill them off now ? :-)
| Luna Brightside chapter 7 . 7/21/2012
| Luna Brightside chapter 6 . 7/21/2012
heh, The story of Cinderella really annoys me, so thanks for doing this!
| NevilleCanKickMattLewis'Butt chapter 8 . 7/13/2012
Yay for Bella! She won! She IS a pretty major Mary Sue, isn't she?
| Qu0thTheRavenNeverm0re chapter 6 . 6/29/2012
Thanks for finally updating, that was funny! :)
| The 5th Alice chapter 6 . 6/24/2012
Haha, this chapter doesn't really make any sense...but then again, neither does this story.
| The 5th Alice chapter 5 . 2/3/2012
...What the heck?
| NevilleCanKickMattLewis'Butt chapter 5 . 2/3/2012
Mock some actual Mary Sues in literature, like Nancy Drew, Jane from Pride and Prejudice, or a Disney princess.
| Luna Brightside chapter 5 . 2/3/2012
Short n, well, not really SWEET as such, but really good :-)
| Little Miss Volturi chapter 5 . 2/2/2012
Confusing... but okay!
| Luna Brightside chapter 4 . 1/18/2012
this is good :-) can you do a chapter on 'twila- da gurl who woz in love'?
| Little Miss Volturi chapter 4 . 1/17/2012
Please write more, good story!
| NevilleCanKickMattLewis'Butt chapter 4 . 1/17/2012
I was wondering when you'd update this! So anyway, yeah, I think this is going pretty good. There are a few grammar problems, so you might want to do some editing before posting chapters. (Remember, commas, are, your, friend! Okay, maybe not that much of a friend. Perhaps, just a, you know, casual aquaintance.)
Just a one big issue I'm having problems with: every introspective line is in present tense, while the rest is in past tense. To put it in simple terms, the sentence, "He looked at me with yellow eyes; wow, he is hot" would be wrong. It should be "He looked at me with yellow eyes; wow, he was hot", or even better, "He looked at me with yellow eyes; wow, I thought, he is hot".
Anyway, everything is looking pretty good. There are just a few things sticking out like a sore thumb - but that's good, because for a sore thumb to stick out, the other fingers have to be healthy! So you have 8 wonderful, beautiful, perfect fingers, and 2 tiny little sore thumbs. You have your tense problems, and your grammar problems, which mostly have to do with commas (as in "Well no duh I was going to try and pass off my early statement as to sedate her worries!") and sentence fragments (as in "Second, my desires to help the poor kid as I stated earlier!")
Keep up the good work! You're lucky; all your problems are conventional and that's easy to fix.