|Reviews for Bannon & Zevran Bk I: Origins Ch1: The Grey Wardens|
| eatenbydragons chapter 18 . 2/10/2013
Ah! I love your dialogue! It’s just… it’s just so much fun! Clever, true to the characters, brilliant at showing their differing world views and conceptions, with many, many laugh out loud moments. You gotta gift.
*sigh at Leliana* That was a particularly intelligent bit, how both are frustrated on the issue of racism. Her condescension is well played.
But Bannon’s thoughts on Liam show a lot of complexity in a short space. So ironic, that conversation between him and Morrigan.
| eatenbydragons chapter 17 . 2/7/2013
Having Oswyn make the 'seditious' speech at the Landsmeet was a stroke of genius. Yeah, totally agree with you that some 'fixing' is in order to make the Dragon Age events sink up correctly. Thank god for MUC.
Howe is such a toady. I know the revenge scene is far away, but I'm looking forward to it. Grr at Howe.
Good job on Loghain, though. He's a total baddie, but I do have a soft spot for him. And yeah, I've always wondered if he had something to do with the darkspawn who flooded the tower. Just a little too convenient...
| eatenbydragons chapter 16 . 2/7/2013
What a sleazy ball, that Stafford. Sort of serves Bannon right for helping him the other day, but still.
Oooh, how the sparks are flying now that Sten is in the party. Your banter is majorly entertaining, and really captures the complexities and foibles of the characters. And speaking of complexity, Lothering is full of moral quandaries.
Alistair chewed this over for a moment. Then he came to a decision. "It's not the province of the Grey Wardens to mete out justice. Or vengeance, or what-have-you." Oh, that’s rich, coming from Alistair.
| eatenbydragons chapter 15 . 2/7/2013
I love your dialogue! Puts mine to shame. Very jealous of you right now. *snerk* Bandersnach. Heh.
And that exchange with Stafford. Nice bit of turn around there. Bannon is such a clever, little Tom Sawyer. ;)
I’m always impressed when a writer puts a spin on the game events and makes the story original. I feel like I’m reading a story that was written on its own, and definitely not a rehashing of the game. This is cleverly done, too.
| eatenbydragons chapter 14 . 2/7/2013
Whew. I’m so glad I was finally able to get back to your story. It’s taken me far too long, I know.
"They're highwaymen. Get it?" Ahahaha! Aw, come on Alistair. You should have totally laughed at that. God, that made me laugh more than it probably should have.
Bannon’s dialogue with Morrigan is great, especially his annoyance when she used fire. Love how you captured her character. Tough, super independent, but a little vulnerability showing around the seams. And Leliana! That “I tried to be merciful!” was never so terrifying in the game, but damn! I’m so backing away slowly. But, um, hmm. Something brewing between them? Perhaps?
Racial politics rearing its ugly head. Very well handled. Both with the soldiers and Leliana. And I like how the minor characters in the game get mentioned which ties the events of the story together, like Ser Cauthrien. Kudos on the details you put in.
| eatenbydragons chapter 13 . 12/13/2012
The plight of refugees is so keen in this chapter. Reflects well the cruelty and surprising kindness that can come out of people in desperate times. But the guards… with the little girl… holy mother of god. O.O That was just f-ed up.
Love the details and racial politics. Some very good plot twists had me hanging on this story. So love your world. Very nice tie ins with character backgrounds, like the little cameo by Ser Landry and mention of Alistair’s sister. Landry is surprisingly complex. Bannon is so tricky. Gotta love those imps. ;)
Your comedy writing is awesome. Every chapter makes me laugh.
| eatenbydragons chapter 12 . 12/12/2012
Some good action in this chapter. At first I was expecting this to be the scene in which the mabari joins the group, but some very interesting surprises, one after another. Some rather disheartening events. You’ve got some great details yourself. ;) Enjoyed the continuation of the turtle bit. Sort of wondering if Bannon gets a toe bit when they get to Redcliffe.
Woah. Darkspawn are creepy bastards.
Your characterization of Morrigan is spot on in her very fierce independence.
| eatenbydragons chapter 11 . 12/12/2012
Love the detail of the red birch twig. Lots of good details that make your fic come alive as it’s own story. The Warden dreams were really well done-helpless and violent. The deer hunt.
Gah. Morrigan is scary. And a full on bitch. That whole bug/grub thing. :shudders: Would so hate to have her as my teacher.
Gotta say, love your character development in this chapter. Alistair's fluctuations between humor and mourning are so well done.
| eatenbydragons chapter 10 . 12/12/2012
So many laughs in this chapter. These two are a real cut up! I feel for Bannon and Alistair, lost in the rain. Pathetic and silly. The two men bonding was very sweet. But poor Alistair. You show his humor and silliness as well as his grief.
| eatenbydragons chapter 9 . 12/12/2012
Hahaha. Poor Alistair. Even Flemeth has to take a turn at him. I love the description of her voice. “Her voice creaked like a great tree branch, making her sound stronger instead of weaker.” Very nice. She is such a character. I can see where Morrigan gets her impatience with fools attitude.
But Morrigan? What a little minx. Getting poor Bannon hot under the collar. Nice hints about Flemeth and a bit of elves’ status in the world too.
I liked the way you framed the conversation between Bannon, Alistair, and Flemeth. A number of laughs there.
| eatenbydragons chapter 8 . 11/25/2012
A short but exciting chapter! Really liked Berkley, how he humanized the Grey Wardens. So sad to see him go. The run across the bridge was well done. Poor mage. Hurts to see someone die when they were being brave.
| eatenbydragons chapter 7 . 11/25/2012
Aw, poor Alistair. I love how you express his relationship with Duncan. I get that feeling too about Alistair. That he is possessive of Duncan’s attention. Very human, and my heart goes out to him having to deal with all the rejection in his life but still trying to keep his chin up.
Very smart bit of intrigue with the scrolls though. My first thought was Loghain since he hates the Wardens so, but I’m enjoying the mystery.
Like the idea that they drink the specific blood they caught. Adds a nice dimension to the story. His Joining dream was also interesting. Different take having him identify with the Archdemon. Really love how you describe his reaction of having ‘more’ to him afterwards. Very interesting interpretation.
Bannon wanting to make sure his letter would get to his father was very touching.
| eatenbydragons chapter 6 . 11/25/2012
Oh, god, I love Bannon. That whole scene with Gazerath, ftw! But he’s also really clever. I love how he looks at the world a little differently than the rest and can come up with solutions they can’t. Though that also seems to get him into a bit of trouble too. He’s an interesting combination with his cynical and still naïve outlook. Gives him a lot of depth as a character.
You know, I always hated killing animals in games. I can see that sometimes being a problem in a RL wilderness setting, but it always struck me as unnecessary and cruel even though it’s just a game. When Alistair said, "But they're just innocent animals." Dragons approves 10. His sentiment after that statement? Dragons approves 50.
Your original dialogue is very good. Witty but still very real. Love that.
| eatenbydragons chapter 5 . 11/24/2012
So glad I finally got some time to get back to your story. I missed it.
I love how much you’ve developed the camp at Ostagar. This and the last chapter have made Ostagar into a real military camp. Love the richness of this developed world. It’s those kinds of details, the army set up and tents, how they fit in the old fortress, that make this your unique story. The same is true with the Wilds. Beautiful descriptions.
I really enjoy your dialogue. Bannon’s embarrassment with a bow is really quite cute. So is their bickering. Some really funny moments there (laughed at the ‘deathroot powder mix up, and Alistair getting Bannon to wipe blood on his nose). You really make the characters come alive. Bannon’s panic makes him a real person. I love that he has to struggle and doesn’t necessarily know all the answers. It makes me look forward to watching him grow over the course of the blight. There is so much of this world for him to get to know.
Love the bits of foreshadowing here and there, like the reference to Adranste’s Ashes and slaves. And the battle with the darkspawn mage was exciting.
| eatenbydragons chapter 4 . 11/20/2012
I have other stuff I need to do, but I keep coming back to your story. It’s so adictive. Your writing is also getting better. I really dig the dialogue between Duncan and recruits (and Alistair). Lots of tension and some fine improvements on the game. I love how you’ve built up these scenes.
“The human shrugged. ‘I'll have a family, someday.’” Aww. Dramatic irony is a bitch.
Is Alistair ever going to cut a break with Bannon? Everything he does, down to his socks, just gets on our hero’s nerves. Glad they finally got some of that miscommunication cleared. Ah, then some bonding.