|Reviews for Death of Innocence|
| ShadowCub chapter 1 . 1/23/2012
Frankly I always found it hard to believe Shepard cared about Earth or any human once he became a spectre.
| douchiesnacks chapter 1 . 12/4/2011
| Rdubs chapter 1 . 11/29/2011
Nightwing this story is awesome. The sense of mass chaos you capture seems so real. Did you see more of the game than was shown than that 10 minute clip shown at the E3 or whatever, where it ends with Shepard getting on the Normandy? If not, your imagination is without par.
Curious though, I thought Ashley was a Lieutenant? At least that's what you hear Anderson call to her on the radio as.
(Small minor note: I think you mean "ordnance", not "ordinance". Ordinance is a codified law, such as a city code saying it is against the law to litter. Ordnance is what you shoot at enemies. Minor note, just to help with your future awesomeness.
| Reklar chapter 1 . 11/28/2011
Brilliant work, Made Nightwing, just as "Keeping a Promise" was. I can easily see something this tragic starting off the final chapter of Mass Effect, and it would be heart-wrenching on a scale never before imagined by anyone. This is heroism and loss that cannot be forgotten. This is the stuff of legends.
Awe aside, I did notice a few spelling/grammatical errors, but nothing that cannot be cleaned up with a quick revision (happy to help if asked). The only serious problem that I saw, and ignored as I was reading, was the fact that Ashley was put in command of a ship. She's a great soldier, and a fine woman, but she knows almost nothing about how to command a ship or a crew, and it's difficult to believe that, even in the direst circumstances, the Alliance would trust a ground trooper with one. Sure, she could learn a lot in a relatively short amount of time, but not enough to be effective. Command isn't just about discipline and having a plan, it's also knowing what your ship and crew are capable of doing on an intimate level. It's the one part of Mass Effect that has always nagged at me, even as much as I love the game and Shepard. A marine is a ground soldier, no matter how skilled and experienced, and not a naval officer with knowledge of ship operations and experience with ship to ship combat in space.
Despite the criticism for "lack of realism", Made Nightwing, I thoroughly enjoyed this story and I look forward to reading more of your work. :)
| BeGodlyBeLynn chapter 1 . 11/27/2011
Me gusta. Very powerful, and everything I would expect Mass Effect 3 to be. Now I'm even more excited for the game to come out :D Great work by you, and I'm looking forward to more of your ever-impressive writings!
| SpiritOfSherwood chapter 1 . 11/27/2011
So that is who the Big Ben sniper is! So sad because he is the last of the legendary SAS but he'll do the Old Firm proud I'm sure.
"There is a clocktower in Hereford where the names of the Dead are inscribed. We try to honour their deeds even as their faces fade from our memory. Those memories are all thats left when the bastards have taken everything else."
Hope you carry this one on because this is amazing!
| ShiftySpaceCow chapter 1 . 11/27/2011
'Kentucky drawl'? I didn't know we were that bad!
Anyway, you sir/ma'am, know how to write a ship battle that would have kept me on the edge of my seat, were I in one. The story was both heart wrenching and exciting, and I applaud you for it.
| Janizary chapter 1 . 11/26/2011
I wondered if shaking that tree would draw you out for something else ;) Glad I was right.
Auto-calibration matrix, indeed. ;)
March is entirely too far away.