|Reviews for Chain of Daisies|
| Mockingbyrd's Tune chapter 2 . 1/28/2012
I haven't figured out what's going on yet. Has Snow White been mean to the woodsman? I'm guessing this from the remark about being pushed around by her and her step mother. So, he shoots her with an arrow and pulls the arrow out cruelly because he doesn't like how she pushed him around? Am I supposed to understand his motive at this point in the story?
The only thing I could gather from the section in italics is she has a sister. Alot of pulling and pushing going on, but I don't know what it means.
Who is Amias? Does Snow know him?
Things are happening so fast that I can't relate to Snow. I don't know if she's mean or nice, or what her relationship is to the two other characters you've introduced. You might flesh out more of Snow's character, so I can feel sorry for her properly. Keep improving your craft! - M.T.
| Mockingbyrd's Tune chapter 1 . 1/28/2012
This chapter is brimming with flowery language and similes. At the same time, the descriptions are a bit overwhelming to the tale. "Her dress was crimson like a stream of blood..." Why do you describe her dress this way? Is it meant to represent something? Is it meant to be beautiful or repulsive? Using blood as a description evokes strong emotions from both sides of the spectrum, so it helps to keep your powerful descriptions for special moments.
Now I want to keep reading because I want to know if Snow will survive! - M.T.