|Reviews for Don't You Wanna Stay?|
| Angel of Darkness Forever chapter 1 . 1/31/2012
I love this and wish it was a little longer.
| PenNameofMine chapter 1 . 1/15/2012
What can I say? Perfect song, perfect couple, perfect writing. The plot gets to the point and manages to be so darn cute at the same time. You've really done an AMAZING job! Well done!
| Etain-Skirata chapter 1 . 12/13/2011
How in the world did I miss *this*? I thought I was staying up-to-date on all of the RC fics. Great story.
| laloga chapter 1 . 11/28/2011
Loved this so much! :D
It was sweet and tender and just...perfect. Loved Ordo's hesitation, his uncertainty at the new situation (and his new role in Besany's life) and how it all faded away after he kissed her. It was a nice touch, too, to show him mentally comparing himself to his brothers, and think over the ways that he was different. Since the Nulls are super-amazing genius warriors, it's easy to forget that - like most clones - they are relatively inexperienced when it comes to the finer points of human interaction.
Unless, of course, that interaction involves strategic assassination and body disposal. :P All joking aside, I loved the way that touch was woven within the narrative - so subtle, but in the midst of all the fluff and romance it really popped off the screen. Caf, sapphires, marriage...dead agent. The stuff of true romance. ;)
Along those lines, you did a marvelous job weaving the "perfect soldier" with the man in love, spending his first night with his new wife. "Listening to her heartbeat brought back memories of countless training exercises with his vode, listening to the comforting thump-thump of all six hearts in his comlink as he centred himself before an op or shoot-out." I just love this line. Feels so "clone-y" and at the same time incredibly touching. And I love that even in the aftermath of their activities, his mind is moving forward, considering her future, their future, and all of the countless "little things" that he has to deal with, but rather than detract from the moment, it fleshes it out.
Wonderful work! :D
| DoubleEO chapter 1 . 11/28/2011
Awww, it's cute. :D
| Queen chapter 1 . 11/28/2011
So sweet! I just love this piece, it's so adorable. I'm grinning so hard right now, you wouldn't believe. This is such a wonderful exploration of Ordo and Besany's wedding night, and you keep it so warm and gentle it's lovely. The opening really catches Ordo's awkwardness...he goes from perfect solider Ordo to this very uncertain young man so quickly. It's clear he's moved out of his comfort zone, but is trying very hard to do the right thing by Besany. And it's way too cute and funny that he marries her and then thinks he's going to go back to the barracks to 'leave her in peace' to cope with the suddenness of their marriage. LOL. Oh he has no idea, does he?
He does seem to be a natural, though. I suppose the clones must learn everything very quickly. I like too how he's comparing himself to Mereel; even though they're close, they're also so very different, and nothing says that more clearly than their approaches to women.
And at the very end...he's still soldier-Ordo. Lying next to Besany and going from thinking about Besany, to jewelry, to body disposal.
Also, voted in your poll. You can probably tell who I voted for fairly easily...
| sachariah chapter 1 . 11/28/2011
Oh come on. That's totally unfair (the sympathy comment). I mean, how am I supposed to be objective *now*?
Of course I jest. Although... didn't you mention having the flu a while back in one of your reviews a while back? It still hasn't let up? I hope you feel better soon (I was going to offer my "sincere condolences" but the use of that phrase always tempts me to say stupid things, and I digress...).
Clearly your ailment hasn't affected your writing, however. You clearly have a knack at romance (something I sadly don't share; I like it, but it doesn't come naturally to me), and I could probably gush for a while just on that aspect. The song you chose was a lovely "framework" for the fic; I actually tried listening to it while reading, and it was an.. interesting experience (it fit great, don't get me wrong, but I think I subconsciously tried to "pace" myself to keep in sync with the song. Ironically, I think had I read it at a natural pace, it probably would have lined up perfectly). The language you chose was tasteful and sweet without seeming 'casual' or brushing over the more intimate aspects of Ordo and Besany's relationship. A natural and satisfying balance. I also liked that there was no dialogue - I almost didn't realize it at first - to a degree the story is just Ordo's recollection, but there is a narrative of sorts; it's comprised mostly of that silent "language" of feelings, emotions, touches, that paint a beautiful picture without dialogue or other writerly tools.
Right, and as I was saying, I could gush for a long time on that aspect, and I was going to say "but I won't", but then I did. See? You played the sympathy card, and now I'm hopeless. Moving on...
There was one thing that really stuck out at me, amidst the fluff and adorable moments. Sure, clones are just so lovable, aren't they? Naive, charming, (I imagine you fangirls have a much larger list but I can't go there...), and, as I like to say, "innocent"... except, they're not completely so. They're soldiers, as Rex said so masterfully in the recent TCW episodes. They're killers, not out of spite, but out of duty, and to a large extent, out of their position in life. And even with all the "mushy" sweetness of this fic, Ordo is still a clone. Still a soldier. The casual references to the agent he just killed, the comparison of his new marriage relationship to the more familiar subjects of heading into battle with his squadmates, it adds a rich and somewhat saddening angle to the relaxed, domestic feel the fic otherwise has. The hand that Ordo places so tenderly against Besany's face was intended only to pull triggers, and rip apart mechanical and sentient foes. And then die and either away on some on forgotten battlefield (you can tell I too am a bit smitten after the Umbara episodes. It wasn't just fangirl's with misty eyes, I'm afraid).
I feel like I'm making a big deal out of an admittedly minor mention (or mentions) in this piece (and really, do I have to ramble about death and injustice on such a sweet peice like this?), but in a strange way, I find the grimness of the clone trooper's life makes these lovely, peaceful moments more special, and more meaningful. Maybe because it's a reminder of how much we take for granted, and how special these "normal" aspects of life and love can be, when seen through the eyes of one who wasn't supposed to have them.
Wonderful, wonderful work. I hope you feel better soon (and yes, I was only joking about the "sympathy card").
Oh, and I tried to vote in your poll, but it informs me that i already have. Hmm... don't really doing so, but hey, I forget that sort of thing. It's not like you'd *ever* guess what I voted for... :P
| Rhiannon I cab to log in chapter 1 . 11/28/2011
Awwwwwwwh I love it - ignoring parts of it lol because I don't get it and input it's amazing and I love the detail :)