|Reviews for Chained|
| Edhla chapter 1 . 7/5/2013
Hi there :) Really enjoyed reading this fic, even though I've never seen AD (people rave about it and I keep MEANING to...)
I usually review in chronological order, so from the top:
To be honest, I'd consider taking out the A/N, or at least putting it at the bottom. It's not something we have to know as readers and it's a bit of a hiccup in getting to the actual story bit.
Having never seen this show, I do have one question: is George Michael usually addressed by the full thing: George Michael? It did seem a bit odd to me, but obviously it's canon you need to keep it in :)
Really liked the snarky tone of some of the asides, especially the "really, really nice" jeans. LOL.
"They accidentally put us..." While this is the premise of the fic and it's a good one, this line of dialogue didn't seem natural to me... almost a mini infodump. If it were mine I'd consider the information/premise coming out a little less directly/more naturally.
The second part in particular has a few moments where the tense wavers- from past ("Maeby lay...") to present ("she can feel...")
"They break." This is the crux of your story, and while what you have is good, it felt quite short compared to the length of the other parts and some of the language felt like it was a summary rather than the story proper. If you were ever looking at revising this, I'd suggest playing with this part in particular so it's a stronger ending.
That said, genuinely did enjoy this one. Thank you for writing x
| Possum chapter 1 . 5/25/2013
This is really one of the best GM/M stories I have ever read! Congrats on the writing, reallt suggestive and tastefull. Great work.
| Othiara chapter 1 . 12/28/2012
Great! I loved the tension and awkwardness.
| Deathless Wraith chapter 1 . 10/31/2012
This was great! Honestly, it's one of the only GM/M stories I can find and out of those it's the best! I love how you detailed George-Michael in the beginning and both of their trains of thought when it comes to the other one. I can't wait to see where their relationship goes in Season 4!
| MessengerOfDreams chapter 1 . 10/23/2012
So, the first time I read this story I had just finished all three seasons of the show, awkwardly shipping for George Michael and Maeby. I read this story and, for someone as not-so-innocent as myself, I blushed profusely and, although enjoying the fic, walked out for the time being. However, the story lingered with me as being incredibly well written, so eventually I told myself "Suck it up, Buttercup!" and read it again and favorited it.
Now, I'm coming back to say that I've added this story to the Reviews' Lounge, Too story archive to help you get more reviews. AD doesn't have a gigantic following in Ficdom and the show's just two hundred kilos of epic, so I had to add it in. It's an impeccably written, witty and overall skillful tale of youthful and then adult lust and how it boiled over. Vague to a point, focusing in the present only when needed, but a large tale told succinctly and, yes, very steamily.
| Purplereader chapter 1 . 9/11/2012
this was incredible! you captured the buzzy excitement of their attraction so well. the part about Maeby's skin was ridiculously hot. my only critique is that I wish you had expanded the end!
| nocturnaltibet chapter 1 . 8/17/2012
I really like this. Its very mature-kinda hot- and Maeby is perfect. GM seems a little OoC but thas fine, becsuse we never saw how he'd be as an adult.
| Caleb Nova chapter 1 . 2/13/2012
I like the style of this piece. The lack of dialogue is interesting, the way it all leans on present tense narrative and inner thoughts. It's worth continuing if you have any further ideas. If not, it also has a solid conclusion.
| Dreamer21 chapter 1 . 1/12/2012
Wow amazing! A second chapter?
| Token chapter 1 . 12/30/2011
Great sexual tension! Very nicely done!