Reviews for Chronicle of the Forgotten One
FaBbEr0oZ chapter 4 . 2/21/2013
So... No killing Emma?
Darkshadow-lord chapter 4 . 4/21/2012
Great Story! I can't wait to read the rest!
Arwen17evenstar chapter 4 . 3/18/2012
Please, please continue this. It's so dark and yummy.
KittyGetAwayFromTheBlanket chapter 4 . 2/3/2012
Wow.

As Meredith from Grey's Anatomy might say, "... Dark and twisty...". That this fic definitely is, but in such a good way. There really isn't another fic - quite like this one. It's interesting, I like it. Hopefully you continue.
NadezhdaSt chapter 4 . 1/30/2012
I’m so happy to see you haven’t abandoned this story! It’s very dark, but so beautifully written that I have to remind myself English is not your first language. I’m really curious to see where you’ll go next with it. Now I’m off to listen to Xandria because I’ve had Winterhearted stuck in my head ever since I read the title of this chapter. You have a great taste in music, my friend.
a321 chapter 4 . 1/29/2012
Oh my god. That was some beautiful writing.

You know, I can't imagine how this Regina could even come close to being redeemed. That's beautiful in itself, I think. It'll be interesting to see how you handle it.
kristenfi13 chapter 4 . 1/29/2012
I'm so glad you're still working on this! I absolutely love it. You don't get many Swan Queen fics that take place in the fairy tale world, so it's really nice to see the characters interact in that setting and OMG the Evil Queen being falling for broken individuals - it's so wrong when she's the one breaking them, but I wouldn't want to read anything else. Perfection :)

Oh and I hope Snow comes to rescue Emma right when she's falling for the Queen - that could make for some interesting conflict.
phoenix072124 chapter 4 . 1/28/2012
Lovely chapter can't wait for another update
a321 chapter 3 . 1/14/2012
Jesus. Wow, just, wow. I don't know what to say.

I know I've had to have said it before, but your writing's very lovely. It drew me into this dark world and never lost its hold on me until I was done reading the entire thing.

I like that you're not afraid to show us the that the Evil Queen is, well, evil. Torture? Yeah, she does that and more. She kinda reminds me of a certain Mord-Sith from Legend of the Seeker. . .

Anyway, this is quite the story you have going here. I'm so excited to see what's next.
Nic Coay chapter 3 . 12/21/2011
Not bad. Not bad at all. Definitely not seen anything like this before, at least not for Once Upon a Time. It's interesting to see an actually dark Regina, to see her back when she was still the Queen. And you handled this last chapter pretty well. It's not my usual thing, I don't read a lot of dark stuff, but it made sense. I mean, Emma stopping the curse effectively made Regina's father's death completely useless. Which would definitely have made her mad, on top of everything else. I'm looking forward to more of this.
LiaMuse chapter 3 . 12/9/2011
One moment... For ONE moment I actually thought that you were kidding about the cutting. How stupid of me. D

Anyway... The spider? I hate them, but he was so cute! D "The spider ran faster, close to tripping over it's own eight legs." - lol! Pure cuteness.

"Tough talk for a swan in chains." - Hmm, You have quite talent for stuff like this. ) P.S. Better than Swan in Chase. D Hahahahaha! Sorry...

"Ei incumbit probatio qui negat, non qui dicit." ? You know latin? D I never knew! That's cool. )

STARWAY TO THE SKIES - Really? I see what you did there! D

"I wish..." - What? Whaaaat? I wanna know! D

Like I said... Good job, LITTLE ONE! D Hehe 3
LiaMuse chapter 2 . 12/9/2011
Halu!

May I say something? That BITCH! How could she? ( Poor Swanny. (hehe... weird, right? Swanny... D) She'll better make it up to her or...! (umm... you know what kind of compensation is on my mind, don't you?)

Good job, little one. ;)
vargagirl chapter 3 . 12/9/2011
Interesting story so far! Not too dark at all. I've read some incredibly dark stories on here, so don't be too worried about having torture in yours. The writing is great. If you hadn't said anything, I would've never known that English wasn't your native language, and I think I'm pretty perceptive about that kind of stuff. Can't wait for the next update. :)
Gemini Explorer chapter 3 . 12/7/2011
Ayo-

Well, that wasn't as bad as I expected after you mentioned that you were writing a torture scene. Pretty scary, but not bad, compared to some scenes that I've read in novels that were grimly realistic. Actually, it's quite a bit tamer than some.

What worries me is that the wounds may become infected, and will mar the heroine. She was still dressed, so any cloth or bacteria that might enter the "carvings" would be a real threat. Don't know how deep the wounds are, or how wide.

I hope that some magical fairy will come along soon and supernaturally heal the cuts. If she looks like Tinker Bell, that'd be nice. I always liked her outfit...(laughing Smilie here.)

I've been reading the story, and wonder where it'll go. You usually have these women with the blonde submitting to the brunette, which can lead to racy prose. Here, she (brunette) seems set on cosmetically damaging her foe.

As a dark scene, I don't know that this is any worse than a couple of scenes that I've written where the heroines were whipped. But I took care to mention that the whips were designed not to leave lasting marks, although they produced searing pain. The whippings were designed to punish and to induce obedience and humility on the slave girls involved.

In this case, Regina wants information, not frightened servitude. Has she got access to electricity? Or to an electric beetle (for instance) whose venom produces horrendous pain in the victim? But leaves no lasting effects to mar a girl's beauty?

There are other ways to elicit information, but I won't post them here. But if the Swan really doesn't know anything, the Queen will have to be convinced of it. I don't envy you the task of figuring out how to make her believe that. You could try menacing an innocent person, saying that the Queen will inflict torture on her if the Swan won't speak. The Swan, being a nice person, would have to convince the Queen that she knows nothing. Might some psychic "seer" be brought in to devine the nature and honesty of the Swan? The Queen has to be convinced that further torture for information is fruitless.

And perhaps she will decide to keep the Swan for a plaything, breaking her will and making her want to please the Queen in what would become a femslash fic? Is that where this is headed?

As ever, your literary talent is outstanding. I am always embarrassed that so many Americans and other native English speakers today lack your skills in what is, to you, a second language. I marvel at not just your command of English, but your writing ability. Your plots are usually too fantastic for my taste, but I often find myself drawn to read the stories, just because your language ability and imagination are so great. What more can I say, except that I'd like to see you write a realistic story. It could either involve these women or maybe the characters from, "The Lost World", who lend themselves so well to plausible adventure tales.

Ayo, you are a gifted author. I hope that you will find commercial outlets for your talent. You deserve to be able to do this stuff for a living!

Gemini Explorer
NadezhdaSt chapter 3 . 12/7/2011
OK, I admit - this is dark, but it's also damn interesting and if you have to fear for your sanity then so do I, because I'd really like to see what happens next. Enough said...
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