|Reviews for Ran's Mistake|
| anitahailey chapter 3 . 10/17/2010
I really enjoyed this chapter as well as the other ones. Please continue writing this story.
| Naomi Takahashi chapter 3 . 5/19/2010
are you still writing?
| ryokothedemonfox chapter 3 . 5/20/2009
hi update soon this is really good
| Data Seeker chapter 3 . 4/4/2007
Dear down on luck
Amusing story; I don't watch Detective Conan so I can't say if your style is wrong or not.
But my personal opinion is that this story is very amusing; the characters are done well; there is suspense, good dialogues, emotion, and drama.
My only complaint is that some of the language is offensive; if you removed the bad words, I would be very, very grateful to you.
Other then the cussing, there is nothing offensive.
I hope this review has a good influence on you. I also hope to hear from you. God bless.
| Talythia Starseeker chapter 3 . 10/30/2005
While the idea of a fic exploring how Ran would react in Shinichi's situation, the whole execution comes across as far too similar - explaining how a human being can be reduced to water as just 'alchemy' sounds really sloppy too. You'd have been better off not trying to explain it at all - after all, any science advanced enough will seem like magic to those who don't understand it, right?
Shinichi's reaction to Ran's apparent death is a bit too...not extreme exactly, but kind of cliche, as far as fanfictions go - I doubt he is the type to get all suicidal over the death of a loved one. Depressed, yes, but I think he would soon snap out of it and get angry and determined to discover and bring to justice whoever was responsible. Even with his own life at risk, or those of his friends, he always manages to think clearly.
But most of all...is the Japanese really necessary? If you can translate it into English, then why put it in Japanese? Especially as you don't always use it correctly. For instance, Gin doesn't call Vodka 'niichan' - if memory serves me correctly, he calls him 'aniki', which implies a kind of seniority in a gang-situation. And it's 'shimatta', not 'shitnatta'. try to stick to one language.
The tense you've written the fic in sounds strange as well.
Basically a good idea, but it could have been done better.
| Rinny.Rum chapter 3 . 4/8/2005
| Fyliwion chapter 3 . 11/29/2004
Its great! And your grammar's good ((hey english is my first and mine's still horrid XP Talk to my reviewers) Anywho. You should honestly keep this one going. I wanna see what happens when they meet... and thats still far away.. so hurry and update!
| Lexie chapter 3 . 11/13/2004
It's a great idea for a fanfic! I don't think I can comment on grammer or japanees language mistakes but all in all it's good. Will Ai tell them though that Ran is 10 years younger?
| Firestorm2004 chapter 3 . 9/22/2004
You should continue this story. It's very interesting. Hope you will update soon. I'll keep checking for it! (Great story, by the way!)
| mauled by squirrels chapter 3 . 9/18/2004
AH! what's wrong? are you busy? you gotta post another chapter! PLEASE! it's super good!
| PRIVATE chapter 3 . 9/11/2004
PLEASE HURRY!BIG(pant)TEST(panting)2 WEEKS!
(Then the person faints out of shock of the news
of the math exam.)
| NaruSasuNS chapter 3 . 9/6/2004
You gonna update in 2005...? Non...! U_Ux Update soon as the others said. Ran-chan is so cute~
| Dark-Koomrie chapter 3 . 8/31/2004
| canby1992 chapter 3 . 8/30/2004
(anoymous name is: you rock!) you rock! more!
| angelicmayuka chapter 3 . 8/29/2004
Ah...so Haibara knows! XD That's cool and this fic is really interesting so far, I can't wait for the rest. :D