|Reviews for Almira's Story|
| Guest chapter 13 . 3/6
''Oh yeah, did I forgot to mention she can bite your neck in half?''
And you have a point at the name issue with Thrax and Scar. When I saw Thrax, the first thing that came to my mind was Scar virus version.
| Guest chapter 10 . 3/6
TU TU TU TU!
Almira to the rescue!
| Guest chapter 8 . 3/6
| Guest chapter 5 . 3/6
Awww, you know in second chapter I imaginated this very scene!
Very good story, I can really see the White Fang refrences.
| invader sugar chapter 3 . 8/11/2013
awesome chapter, except for two minor errors
1. 'The constant beatings made me think anyone wanted to beat me.' I'm pretty sure you meant 'everyone' and not 'anyone'
2. the cell equivalent of blood is not plasma, it's cytoplasm. Plasma is the stuff the blood cells are floating around in
| myunleashedspirit chapter 22 . 6/23/2013
That was fantastic! !
| Guest chapter 16 . 8/5/2012
I can't believe this story only has 15 reviews...anyways, this is a fascinating story. You do tend to rely off white fang alot. I don't know what white fang is, but you have certainly used it to your advantage. Very well written and edited story. Please make more adventures of the two together!
I actually don't like you: now I can't the image of Almira out of my head when I watch Thrax, I feel like something( or someone) is missing. I curse you... In a good way.
I love Almira. I wanna do fan art of her. I only do that with characters I really like. That says something.
| Sympathy for the Lost Love chapter 5 . 7/19/2012
i've read this a bunch of times and this JUST NOW reminded me of the white fang story
| Soup-chan chapter 8 . 1/31/2012
I'm sorry but you seem to be relying on the scenes in White Fang very heavily. It's good to have inspiration but don't practically copy each scene and simply switch the names. Although in my opinion Thrax is a bit OOC, it is only a bit noticeable and probably can't be helped given the way you want the story to go. Either way a little bit of OOCness is required for almost every fanfiction, especially those with OCs. I noticed when Almira was speaking with the other dogs there wasn't really any defining way of telling they were talking to each other, maybe if a scene comes up in the future where any animal cells/viruses/germs talk to each other you could try using italics? Your choice however, not mine.
The only other thing is the explanations. I understand that since this is in first person not as many details can be put out as in third person but you don't need to flat out tell the readers the reason for things such as explaing the reason for Almira disliking people and not trusting them while you're also telling us about her experience in the dog fighting, not all fanfiction readers (or writers) are idiots.
However, you seem to be (quite) a bit better and grammar than some of the other Osmosis Jones stories I've read and the dialogue is smoother as well. I also like this because it's unique though I don't normally read first-person stories. I hope to read more in the future and if you have any questions about my review I used my author name.
| RavageThyCorpse chapter 21 . 1/30/2012
I love you. I love. You. SO. MUCH. I was so sad that this would be over, for one because, you're a really good writer, and so I love reading your stories, and two, I love Thrax AND Almira so much already, so hearing that you're working on part two, I'M.. SO.. EXCITED. WOO.
| RavageThyCorpse chapter 20 . 1/29/2012
;D That was awesome. I love, love, LOVE Thrax's "Hiii baby" :3 teehee. But I'm also sad because I know what happens next ;c .. Sadness
| RavageThyCorpse chapter 16 . 1/20/2012
Oh I absolutely LOVED this chapter! I think it just might be my favorite so far :) It was so cute the way Almira got hiccups and how he baby talked her. I can't wait for what happens next, and I know exactly what happens next ;D It's gonna be a great chapter I can tell already :3
| RavageThyCorpse chapter 15 . 1/19/2012
WOO! I can't wait for them to meet! ;D I'm really excited ;
| The Tell-Tale Man chapter 14 . 1/15/2012
That chapter was realy food so please kepp up.
| Alu In Chains chapter 13 . 1/13/2012
xD You gotta love how ignored Almira felt and then offended when they called her a boy dog. Her temper is a short one, I love how she can growl and make them all shudder.
I'm going to have to watch this movie a few more times now just so I can start picturing Mira in these scenes. Reading them I can tell she just fits in but it'll be fun to try to visualize it as well.
You're doing amazing so far in the writing, I can't wait to see the next chapter!