|Reviews for Something More|
| Hannah chapter 1 . 6/4
SCREAMING, SQUEALING. There's a reason why this is one of my favorite stories by you. THE EMOTIONS AND ANGST KILL ME AND I HATE/LOVE YOU FOR IT OH MY GOD GO TO HELL BUT ALSO WRITE ME 1000000 STORIES.
God, this is completely amazing, every single word of it, characterization on point and the angst is so deliciously perfect that I died while reading it.
And ending a story with naked Densi cuddles is always a perfect idea ;)
| delicatelyglitterywriter chapter 1 . 9/15/2015
This is pure torture. So good. RIGHT IN THE FEELS. Well done :)
| RhondaLara chapter 1 . 9/5/2015
Loved The Debt- Super great addition to the show!
| EmmyLou74 chapter 1 . 10/18/2013
I always wanted know what Kensi would have said if Deeks hadn't stopped her. I love your version of how they worked it out, you always capture their characters so well that I feel like that actually happened. "It doesn't take her any time at all to decide she like them much, much better this way". So glad you put the "we'll figure it out" line in there :)
| LittleMissAbigail chapter 1 . 10/1/2013
Oh, I just love them together. Thanks for sharing!
| kateziva chapter 1 . 8/24/2013
This is soooo cute!
I was about down before reading this, but now I'm happy again. good work!
| eva-david chapter 1 . 8/21/2013
Oh, god! What a beautiful story! I absolutely adore cuddly Deeks. So good!
| pracarual chapter 1 . 7/31/2013
This is a Pièce de résistance! Marvelous! Perfection! Wonderful! Can you tell I loved it? Flawless in concept and execution. Thank you so much for every fantastic word. Wow!
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/30/2013
Oh my god that was so well written and it felt real most stories are to off the wall.
| Levitas181 chapter 1 . 7/11/2013
This is the best fanfic i have ever read... thank you :) i loved it
| Anjelly7 chapter 1 . 3/6/2013
OKAY I AM GONNA QUOTE AGAIN BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE. GORGEOUSNESS. WONDERFULNESS. BEAUTINESS. AMAZINGNESS. AWESOMENESS. JESS.
I love love love this visual. Quiet and peaceful and tender and and and perfect. Shining bright like a diamond. Or like the pearl Peeta offers to Katniss on the beach during the Quarter Quell. (lolz, I hadn’t mentioned THG in the longest time #TEAMPEETAFTW): “Hours later, they're a tangle of blankets and tired limbs in her bed. Racing pulses have long since returned to normal; flushed skin has cooled and the tail-end of afterglow is just beginning to fade. The only indication Kensi has that Deeks is still awake is the rhythmic patterns he traces on her stomach; the sporadic kisses he brushes against her shoulder. He's a cuddler; that much is apparent. She'd known that before, considering the nights they've spent together in a less romantic capacity on her couch, but it became more than clear as he settled in behind her, drawing her back flush against his chest and nuzzling gently at her neck.
It's a bit more…touchy than she's used to, but then again, it's Deeks. That's who he is.
And telling him to back off would only make him more persistent.
Besides, she likes – SCRATCH THAT, LOVES - it.
(Not that she's going to admit that to his face.)” *Oh, Kiki. Come on. (Deeks’ drawl from last night)* God God God, that is just so adorable. Cuddly Densi ! I love the warm, smooth, soothing kisses and little touches and caresses and strokes and moans and God, I love him. And he loves her, and she loves him! THREES ON THEIR FIRST DAY HOME WITH BABY THREE.
Mmmmh. “She'd been moments away from sleep, and with a few strategic kisses he's got the first flutters of desire awakening deep inside of her again.” TALENTED MARTY.
“She sighs and closes her eyes. Thinks for a moment that this shouldn't be nearly this hard, not with his arms around her, not with his naked body cradling hers, her back against his chest and him nuzzling her neck. This shouldn't be this hard. » But it is because everything worth fighting for is. That’s what makes it so special.
I love her declaration. It’s a bit messy, veiled by embarrassment at what she sees as vulnerability, but it’s powerful. Simple, but beautiful. Magical lyrical beautiful… :D "It's just…you and me, we'd built something good over the past year, you know? I just…I wanted to say that I didn't want to lose…what we had," she admits quietly. Didn't want to lose you. That remains unspoken yet no less true, and Kensi can't help but squirm against him. The only indication, though, that Deeks notices it is the slight tightening of his arm around her, drawing her closer to him. Kensi fights the urge to stiffen, but in the end, can't block it completely.
Instead of lingering on that, though, she closes her eyes and wills the words to continue – it's a struggle, a mighty one indeed. "Just because we were losing you didn't mean…didn't mean that things had to change between us. I – I didn't want you to end up going back to LAPD, and then never see you again."
I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS SEGMENT. Could have been the summary. Just gorgeous. “They're not exactly the words she'd wanted to say, but Deeks doesn't press her further. As it is, it's a pretty weighty confession from the stoic, tough woman in his arms and really, he hears in the words she does say all that remains unspoken.”
LOVE. “She squirms beneath his touch, glad for a moment that he can't see the slow smile of contentment growing on her lips - contentment, and relief as well, because she knows he's satisfied. He's not going to push her on that matter any more, at least not for tonight. That smile of hers only widens as he repeats to her the same words she'd given him many months ago. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."”
“Good.” Okay. Same thing. Love. Perfection.
Awwwww. Quoting until the end because because because the voices in my head tell me I have to! And they’re so, so, so right!
“He could tease her about how he just knew she'd get attached to him, but he doesn't. Instead, he merely smiles against her skin, letting the silence settle between them before he verbalizes the question he's pretty sure is bouncing around in her head as well. "Are we doing this?" he asks softly, the warmth of his breath tickling her skin. She shivers and sighs as his lips play at her shoulder, his seemingly innocent kisses leaving a trail of fire in their wake. "You and me?"
For a few moments, she revels in that. Closes her eyes and simply lets herself feel every little brush of his lips, the gentle caress of his fingertips, the way her body seems to fit so perfectly against his. This goes against every rule she's ever sworn to live by. Kensi Blye doesn't do more than first dates. Kensi Blye doesn't do relationships. Kensi Blye certainly doesn't get involved with partners. She's stronger than that. Better than that.
Somehow, Kensi finds that she doesn't really care anymore.
Perhaps he's not the only one that this partnership has changed.
And as he sucks lightly at the sensitive spot where her shoulder meets her throat, she can't even summon up the will to chastise herself for throwing years upon years of strict rules out the window just because one scruffy, charming yet infuriating man managed to burrow his way under her skin like this.
If he's in, then so is she. *ALL IN !*
Stretching contentedly, Kensi slowly rolls onto her back beside of him, meeting his eyes as he gazes down at her. "If we're not, then uh, I think we've got a problem," she quips quietly, her eyes sparkling as she lazily trails a fingertip along his chest. "I mean, little late to be worrying about that, right?"
He chuckles softly, lowering his head to press a kiss to her jaw. His scruff tickles her skin and she can't stifle the tiny giggle that slips from her lips. It's decidedly girly, so much so that she's mildly mortified and expecting Deeks to tease her, but he doesn't. Instead, the kisses continue, light and feathery against her jaw until he kisses his way to the corner of her lips. But rather than claim them in a kiss like she wants, he pulls back and shifts against her, grinning rather cheekily as he settles above her once more. She shivers as his fingertips skirt over her body, his touch surrendering any innocence it might have held several moments before. He grins as her eyes flutter and finally he ducks his head, brushing his lips against hers. "We'll figure it out, right?" he breathes.
Kensi smiles against his lips, recognizing the words they'd exchanged earlier, albeit with entirely different meanings and emotions. It doesn't take her any time at all to decide that she likes them much, much
better this way. "We always do."
And they certainly do. »
YOU ARE MAGICAL LYRICAL BEAUTIFUL PERFECT AND AWESOME AND AMAZING AND THIS IS ART. THE FINEST FORM.
TAKE A BOW. AND THEN TAKE MARTY.
| Anjelly6 chapter 1 . 3/6/2013
- him against a wall before the sharp yet gentle nip of her teeth at his lips, followed by the soothing swipe of her tongue nearly shatters every thought inside his slowly short-circuiting brain.
There's something, though, maybe it's the burn in his lungs or that – now quite pesky – voice in the back of his head that pulls him back to the present, and with some great force of will he manages to break away from her mouth, pulling back just enough to murmur her name against her lips. "Kens…"
The hand at his chest fists in the material of his shirt, and Deeks feels his heart skip a beat as her intentions suddenly become quite clear to him and then he's the one fighting an agonizing battle – maintain rational thought here, or give in to her? To what he wants, what she wants?
And what she wants…she makes that even more clear as she kisses him again, the hand at her neck drifting slowly downward and over his chest, meeting her other hand in the middle. Quite deftly, her fingers begin unhooking buttons, trembling only just a bit. Her heart's pounding madly, so much so that she thinks it might pound right out of her chest. She can't breathe, and when she can, it's only his scent that fills her lungs and dammit, she doesn't want to fight this anymore. Doesn't want to watch jealously as he flirts with suspects and witnesses and maybe even old flames; doesn't want to stare blankly as he locks lips with another woman, be it undercover or real; doesn't want to wonder if what she feels for him is rational or not…she just wants him.
The butterflies turn her stomach inside out as he breathes her name once more against her lips, trailing into a low rumble of a groan as her palms splay against his abdomen, silently cataloguing the contours of his body by touch. She can feel the tension, can sense the hesitation within him, but Kensi…she hasn't wanted something – someone – this much in a very long time. Separating from him, she waits for his eyes to open before she speaks and when she does, they're the surest words she's spoken all night. "I want this."
And he does too; God does he want this. She can tell that by the way his eyes darken with desire, by the way one hand drifts along her side before settling at her hip, his fingers nudging their way gently beneath the fabric of her tank to the smooth, soft skin underneath. He murmurs her name, and Kensi can't stop the shiver that courses through her body. "Deeks…"
She doesn't say the word that goes unspoken, but she knows Deeks can read it in her eyes. Please. *DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD. You know how I feel about (not so) quiet pleas from her.*
And that, he can't argue with.
When she kisses him again, he doesn't try to stop her.
And when, without ever breaking the contact between their lips, she finds his hands and begins to lead him away from the wall, he lets her.
Knows he couldn't stop her if he tried.”
OMG YOU ARE THE BEST. SIMPLY THE BEST. It’s hot and gorgeous and beautiful and sexy and I don’t know how you do that and I am so jelly. Seriously. Teach me. Teach me or there is no point I even pretend I have the right to write. Oh dear Lord. You are the best. #HUNCHBACKFOREVER . Dear God. I have no words left. They all left me. And I don’t want them back; I only want yours.
| Anjelly5 chapter 1 . 3/6/2013
You showed me what it's like to have a real partner – not just someone to work a case with, but someone I could, you know, depend on. Someone who would be there and have my back, no matter what. It's…it's been a long time since I've trusted someone like that. "I would've said that, uh, that no matter how many more years I do this job, I know I'd never, ever have a partner quite like you again." He smiles slightly. "You are absolutely one of a kind, Agent Blye."” I AM DEAD FROM DEATH. YES. COMPLETELY. AGAIN AND AGAIN. THIS IS EVEN BETTER THAN LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE. TRULY. REALLY. COMPLETELY. TOTALLY. TRUTH.
ON WITH THE QUOTING BECAUSE I HAVE TO. OMJ. YES. “Kensi's lips twitch at that, but Deeks doesn't see. His eyes are downward again, and he swallows hard against the inexplicable lump in his throat. It's odd, he thinks, because he knows this isn't goodbye – it's far from it. It's just as monumental of a moment, though, because what he says in this moment could easily change everything between them. It can push them forward, or simply push her away. *NEVER. SHE’LL END UP IN YOUR ARMS, WHERE SHE BELONGS.* "I would say that, uh, I would hope we would keep in touch. Because you're…well, I don't really know what we are right now but you're not just my partner. You're not just my partner, and you…" He smirks briefly, giving a slight shake of his head. "You're not somebody that I can just forget, Kens. You…you changed me, and I – I think I would always care about you a little more…"” DEATH AGAIN. BUT OH, THERE’S NO SWEETER DEATH THAN THIS. (Yes, Kate Earl.)
PERFECTION HAS A NAME: JESS. “He trails off, but he doesn't need to complete the sentence for the words to drift unspoken from him to her. I think I would always care about you a little more than I should.”
ON WITH THE DECLARATION BECAUSE IT ISN’T FINISHED YET BECAUSE PERFECTION KNOWS NO END. "I would say that, uh, you gave me something that I've never had before…I mean, the whole team, it's Sam and Callen and Hetty too, but…but mostly you. It's you. I, uh, I've never really had someone at my back like that, no matter what. Nobody else has…they've never really cared too much."
You should be tired of my reviews by now, since I basically only quote you. :P But no, because you get to read beautiful wonderful wordz! :D “Lifting a hand, Deeks scratches at the back of his neck; he's trying to tamp it all down, but his every instinct is screaming at him to bolt. But then there's the voice in his head; he owes her this, he knows, for every time he's pushed her beyond I'm okay. He owes her this for the lies and the hurt he caused her, even though none of it was anything he'd wanted to do. He just hopes she realizes how much it had hurt him to do it. "I would have said too, that you…you mean a whole hell of a lot to me, and that…I don't know what to do with that."
He stops just short of admitting the greater truth behind that – the fact that it absolutely terrifies him. "I don't know how I would walk away if…if I actually had to."” DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD AND I DON’T WANNA EVER LIVE AGAIN BECAUSE DEATH IS SWEET LIKE CANDY AND LIKE DEEKS. #KENSISFAVORITETHINGS
Oh dear Lord that scene with Hetty. That is like, one of the greatest moments of season 3, no kidding. People keep pointing at their connection, the true nature of their relationship, and I love that moment when Hetty did it too: “Even now, the ops manager's words echo in her ears, hitting her with just the same force as they'd hit her the first time. A good partner…or something more? A year before, Kensi would have been able to, with confidence, deny the latter. But today…today she hadn't been able to say a word.
And really, she should have. Deeks is a good partner, and Kensi certainly hadn't been looking forward to the prospect of having to adjust to another new partner. She trusts Deeks implicitly in the field, maybe even more than she trusts Callen or Sam. There's a connection there; he can read her when it counts, and she can read him. They're good together. Absolutely, she'd been upset at the idea of losing him as her partner.
But the more she'd allowed the past several months to play through her head, the more she hadn't been able to deny that just the thought of him, just the very thought of him, plants a deep, heated feeling of unease in her stomach and an odd fluttery sensation in her chest. She can't ignore the images that flash before her eyes – he flicks his tongue over his lips and she's thinking about his lips on hers; he throws her a playful smirk and she's thinking about him smirking at the reactions elicited by the practiced touch of his hands on her body; he's working out his frustrations on the heavy bag in the gym and her wild imagination is conjuring up images of those strong arms wrapped around her.
And thinking back, Kensi can't help but realize that those thoughts and images and desires have plagued her for quite some time. Fear of losing him when he was shot, jealousy every time he comes into the bullpen with a smile on his face and a story about whatever woman he'd met the night before, the comfort he'd brought her the night after the ordeal with Stan King, when he'd showed up at her door and hadn't left until well past lunch the next day. Early morning coffee runs, late night dinners and movies on her couch, the few mornings she'd awoken, slightly disoriented to find his arm around her and her body curled against his.
Now, the butterflies are fluttering in an utterly maddening dance in her belly and there's no doubt at all left in her mind. This is something more. This is absolutely something more.” SOMETHING MORE! THREES HOLDING HANDS AS THEY LOOK AT THE SONOGRAM OF BABY THREE
BEAUTY. BELLEZA. BEAUTE. "Kensi," he pleads, his voice little more than a whisper. In the heavy silence between them, though, it seems nothing less than deafening. "Don't – don't close down on me now."
THE KISS ! (YES, I did need that many exclamatives. And even more.) QUOTING AGAIN BECAUSE, it’s not just the kiss. It’s the tension, the heat, the electricity, the shivers, the moans going with it that need to be quoted. So, on with the show.
“She can barely hear him over the sound of her heartbeat in her ears, the sound of blood and adrenaline and desire and even fear rushing through her veins. Her entire body feels as if it's humming, utterly buzzing with tension and a million and one other things that she's reluctant to name. It all comes back to him, though, every last bit of it.
Before she even realizes it, she's closing what little bit of distance remains between them – it wasn't much, but now, it's all but nothing at all. She can feel the heat of his body and that sure doesn't do a damn thing to aid her control. Closing her eyes for a moment, Kensi draws in a deep breath. It's meant to steady her, but if anything, it only reinforces just how close to him she is, just how incredibly much she wants him. She shivers as his masculine scent washes over her, filling her with thoughts of that same intoxicating scent laced deep within the threads of her pillows, the sheets on her bed. * #OHGODYES .She loves his smell. Salt and ocean and life. *
She doesn't think she's ever wanted anyone quite so badly before. *SHIVERS*
He murmurs her name one more time, but by then she's already made up her mind. Her dark eyes meet his ocean blue ones – God, she loves that color – and before she knows it, she's got a hand on his chest, whether to steady herself or just to be closer to him, she can't be sure. Either way, she chooses not to think about it too much. * That is like the most beautiful visual ever. Adorable. Gorgeous. Romantic. Incredibly natural and normal and them. *
Instead, Kensi swallows hard, her eyes never straying from his as she speaks. It may not be what she'd wanted to say to him earlier, but at the moment, it's all she's got. It's all that matters. "We have a thing."
And then before he can reply, her other palm is on his scruffy cheek and her lips are finding his, kissing him soundly on the mouth.
He's stunned for but a moment; by the time his mind restarts and catches up to the rest of him, he's kissing her back, his entire world narrowed to the feel of her lips against his. Hesitant at first, he gives her the chance to pull away, but when her hand drifts to the back of his neck and she instead pulls him closer, that's all he can take and then he's kissing her back with the same urgency, the same want, the same need. For the moment, there's nothing else but this – nothing else but the two of them, this kiss, those hidden feelings that both have tried to drive away for a year now.
And now, he can't even fathom why they tried so hard when the only thing he wants right now is her. His fingers tangling in her hair almost of their own volition, he deepens the kiss and nearly finds himself brought to his knees by the tiny moan she gives in response. Her lips part eagerly for him and then he's exploring; tasting and teasing and committing every single little thing to memory because he's certain he's either going to wake up in seconds or she's going to realize what's going on and shoot him. He just knows it.
For now though, their mouths continue to meld together over and over again and the more he gets, the more he knows he won't be able to get enough of her. She tastes intoxicatingly sweet; he's always suspected she would but never dared to imagine that he'd ever have the chance to prove those suspicions. Her lips, so soft yet so demanding against his, and the firm grasp of her hand at his neck; he's mesmerized and barely recognizes that they're moving until he feels the wall at his back and he barely has time to smirk at her being the one to push
| Anjelly4 chapter 1 . 3/6/2013
Kensi is not ready for that – and will never be. She needs him. She wants him there, forever. “Oh, how very familiar that is. "What happened between us?" she asks, and really, that's all she has to say. Deeks needs no clarification, but she gives it anyway. "In – in the bullpen. What was that?"”
OF COURSE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT IF IT WAS REAL, YOU BITCH. The man would be destroyed and broken beyond repair if he ever had to leave you, and the team. So don’t you dare say that to his face. If it had been real, you wouldn’t be able to walk or stand up right now because he would have taken you on that desk right then and there.
BITCH. “Kensi shrugs. "Where else am I supposed to go with it?" she asks, her voice breaking just slightly. She pauses, swallows hard, steadies herself before continuing. "It was supposed to look real. I believed that it was real. And that was how you played it. You were just...completely indifferent about it. About leaving. So I'm supposed to believe that the real thing would be different?"” You’re supposed to KNOW it, because this is Deeks, your Deeks, one of the best men you’ve ever known.
“She's still speaking from anger; he knows that. It doesn't make it hurt any less, though. He holds himself back, though; he's not going to answer defensively. He's not going to make this any harder than it already is. So for a moment, Deeks simply breathes, rubbing at his tired eyes. They've never really done this before; he doesn't understand why it's now all about the words. "Don't you know what it did to me when you said you wished I'd had more to say?" he says finally, anguish clear in his eyes. "I couldn't, Kensi. I couldn't. Because I knew it wasn't really the end of you and me. And that's why I tried to stop you from saying what you were going to say, because if you'd said something you couldn't take back, how were we going to come back and work together like nothing had happened? I just…I don't know, Kens. I don't know."” *She’s hurting him, that bitch. I hate that. I hate it because she’s being so unfair with him. She’s the one who’s not professional enough to make the difference between Detective Deeks and Deeks the man.* My heart broke just at reading “the end of you and me”, even if it didn’t happen. :’(
“But how is he supposed to explain that he was supposed to hurt her? How is he supposed to explain
that he was supposed to take advantage of her trust in him? That he (and the rest of them too, but at the moment, he feels incredibly alone in this) was supposed to use her feelings for the good of the case?” * :’( forever here.*
Awwww. :’( “It's all so incredibly wrong. He knows she'll forgive him, knowing that he did what he had to do for the case. Right now, though, Deeks doesn't know if he can forgive himself for doing the one thing he'd never wanted to do. "I never wanted to…" Closing his eyes, he hesitates for a moment, feeling out the words in his head before lending voice to them. "I – I had to play the part. You know how that works. That's the problem with covers, sometimes. I never wanted to have to…play with your feelings." Pausing, he swallows hard, and not for the first time he feels as if his words are digging him an even deeper hole. "I never wanted to hurt you. I just…I had to make you think it was real. I had to upset you. You had to think that I - that this…this thing means nothing to me because you had to be the one to sell my cover." He swallows again, his mouth like cotton. "It was up to you, Kensi."”
OKAY, WE’LL GO WITH THE QUOTING, OKAY ? BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, I HAVE TO QUOTE EVERY SINGLE DAMN LINE IF I WANT TO DO ANY JUSTICE TO THIS PIECE OF ART: “He nods. "I had to do it, Kensi," he whispers. And truly, it'd been one of the hardest things the job had ever required him to do. Sure, Deeks has hurt people with the conditions of his covers before, but somehow…somehow with Kensi, it's all different. The scene plays yet again in his head, just as clearly as if he were reliving it now. Her eyes, her posture, the way her voice had cracked…even now, it kills him.
He thinks he's never been quite so close to willingly breaking his cover.
He hopes to God that he never has to lie to her like that again.”
OMG I AM EVEN MORE IN LOVE WITH HIM WITH EVERY LINE. "And you were killing me too," he adds softly, resisting the urge to reach out to her. "I had to get out of there, because if I didn't, I knew you would break me." Deeks smiles slightly; he can hold his cover to the very end against terrorists and drug lords, but it's the woman in front of him now that challenges all of his years of undercover training.”
OH OH OH. HERE IT COMES (I’ve said that, like, three times, lolz) : “She's still lost, though, in what he'd said moments before. You can bet I would have had more to say. Those words fill her with a dangerous curiosity, one that she can't force back and before she even realizes it, the words are tumbling from her lips, her voice surprisingly steady. "I want you to say it."
Deeks feels his blood run cold – she doesn't have to clarify for him to know exactly what she's asking him to say. "Kensi…"
She shakes her head, cutting him off. She knows she's putting him on the spot; knows that if he did the very same thing to her, her own reaction would be to walk away, but that doesn't hinder her. She, for some inexplicable reason, needs this. "The shot was real. You brashly took out an unarmed man, for real." Deeks flinches at the thought, but Kensi carries on. "Your position with us was actually terminated. You and I…we really are over." It's a hypothetical situation, certainly, but the words coming from her lips chill her just as much as they had earlier, when the entire situation had been real…at least, to her, anyway. "What do you say to me?"
She hates herself for the way her voice falters just a bit at the end.” PERFECTION. PERFECTION (French version yo). This, just here, is perfection.
Aww, it scares her to go all the way with this… But Kensi, it’s worth it. I promise it is. There’s no coming back but you don’t wanna go back to what was before. You want what’s awaiting forwards, I can assure you that. God, you’re so perfect for each other, dammit girl.
Awww, his Kensi always keeps him on his toes with her surprises! (like a little Cookie underneath the lacy bow) “He wasn't expecting that either. But then again, he can count on one hand the number of times that Kensi's done something predictable.”
I love this. The “Okay.” Especially in light of last night’s episode. Such a simple word, but that holds so much meaning between them. Only they can do that, make the simplest things so damn meaningful and powerful and heart-shattering and magic.
PERFECTION GOES ON FOREVER. “It's not that he doesn't know how to begin, it's just…well, okay, that's exactly what it is. It's uncharacteristic for him not to have the words – they might not always be the right words, but at least he usually has something. And at that he can't help but give a self-deprecating chuckle because it is so unlike him. "This is…not easy," he says finally, shaking his head slightly.
"It's me, Deeks," she coaxes softly, and even though she'd been the one to distance herself, Kensi finds herself taking a step toward him again.
He chuckles softly in response, though there's little if any humor within it. "That's what makes it so hard, Kens…"” Love love love that. Amour, amor, amore, love, liebe, LIEBSCHEN !
OKAY, QUOTING OF THE ENTIRE DECLARATION. GOD, I WILL STEAL PARTS OF IT THE DAY I GET MARRIED."I would have said that the past year…" (…) Trailing off, he hesitates for a second more, wondering if she has any idea just how difficult this is for him. He wonders if she has any idea just how thin of a line he's walking; he doesn't call himself an emotional person but he's certainly more open about it than Kensi is, but this line…whatever he says can change them forever and he knows that. And losing her is not something he's willing to do. So, he backtracks and starts out a bit more safely. "This past year, I, uh, I've enjoyed working with you – definitely would have said that," he says, nodding mostly to himself. He forces himself to turn to her again, but still finds himself unable to meet her eyes. "There's been days with LAPD that the last thing I wanted was to drag myself out of bed and put myself through another day at the precinct, but the past year, I've actually found myself wanting to come in everyday. And that's not just because of the change in scenery…it's because of you. You might exhaust me with your habitual need to turn every damn thing into a competition, but that's part of what I like about being your partner. You don't let me slack off." (…) It's his escape. She recognizes that. (LOVE LOVE LOVE)(…) "I'd also say that I wished I'd had more time with you… (THREES HUGGING EACH OTHER TIGHTLY AND KISSING AND SNUGGLING AND SHARING BODY HEAT) mostly so I could at least try to fix your terrible sense of humor." He smirks, and even Kensi can't hide her own slight smile. "With a bit more time, I'm sure I could have taken you from terrible to at least passable. And you wouldn't have to pay people anymore to agree that you're funny." (…) She shouldn't want him to continue…but that's exactly what she does want. (JUST LIKE SHE THINKS SHE SHOULDN’T WANT HIM BUT SHE DOES) (…) "Would have said that, uh, now that our partnership is – was – over, that I'd officially be sending you a bill, so you could pay me back for all the doughnuts you stole from me." He tilts his head thoughtfully for a moment. "Should probably send you all my future medical bills too, because you're insane sometimes and I just know that watching some of the crazy stunts you've pulled on the job has taken at least ten years off my life." (…) Still, he pushes on. He's started this; might as well finish it. "I would have said that you…you taught me a lot. On the job, and off. You showed me what it's like to have a real partner
| Anjelly3 chapter 1 . 3/6/2013
Lolz Kensi, he doesn’t have to answer that damn question if he doesn’t want to. And God TRY TO USE YOUR MIND EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. Can’t you figure it out yourself, why he doesn’t want to work with women again, considering what happened to Traynor, for instance ? Or just merely the idea that crosses Callen and Sam’s minds, too, whenever you have to swing you hips or pop open a button, all alone with a suspect. The very idea that you’re a woman and everything is different when you’re a woman in that line of work. Did you ever think of that, Kensi ? And after all of that – and that’s already plenty to worry about for poor Deeks – he is very right, even if teasing you… Men and women, the secular problem. Men and women fall in love, you idiot.
“He steps toward her then, and quite suddenly Kensi's realizing just what a bad idea it was to rest against the door – she has no place to go as he reinvades her personal space.” OOOOH, he’s gonna take you against that door, honey.
“His low voice is barely more than a whisper and Kensi's certain that it probably shouldn't send such a delicious shiver diving all the way down her spine, but that's exactly what it does to her. She knows that this is where she should tear her eyes away from his, but in the end, that's an ocean that pulled her under a long time ago and she's drowning. Somehow he's managed to stir up emotions deep inside of her over the past several months and for reasons she can't quite comprehend, fighting them back is exhausting. She can't ignore them; can't ignore him.” SHE IS SO HEAD OVER HEELS FOR HIM, OMG. He got her under his spell, and soon, underneath him! :P I love how everything he does, the way he looks at her, the tone of his voice, the feel or scent of him triggers that reaction from her. Shivers, heat, desire. She wants him so bad!
“The last time he tried something quite like this, it ended with Kensi twisting his arm (he's certain she just about dislocated his shoulder…well, okay, maybe not, but it sure felt like it) and him doubled over in pain, completely at her mercy as she led him back into Ops.” THAT BITCH!
“His eyes never leaving hers, Deeks reaches out to her, oh so slowly tracing a fingertip along her jaw. *SEXY* She stiffens, but otherwise doesn't react. *LOLZ, because she LOVES it and wants those fingers to explore her more thoroughly* "Think about it, Kens," he murmurs. "It's just a lot…easier to work with somebody when you don't have to worry about them falling in love with you." I LOVE LOVE LOVE THAT! Actual lol, rolling on my bed like an idiot!
“Kensi's jaw drops. "I'm sorry; what?" she questions indignantly, choosing adamantly not to focus on the odd fluttering in her chest at his words.” THE ODD FLUTTERING CALLED CRAZY HEARTBEAT LOVE! SHE WANTS HIM, OH GOD HOW SHE DOES!
I love how pleased and proud and satisfied with himself he is!
“"Right." She swats at his arm, forcing his touch away from her. "Because clearly you're just so irresistible." *YES! Have you seen the man, Kens ? Yes, you have, since you can’t stop staring and gushing and grabbing that ass!*
"Pretty much, yeah." He smiles innocently. "You want me."” *YES SHE DOES!*
AND HERE COMES THE PART WHERE PLAYFUL BECOMES, “LET’S HAVE THE TALK BEFORE I SWORD YOU TO OBLIVION DOLLFACE.” Yes, this is exactly the name of that moment. "Are you sure it's not the other way around?"
“there's no denying that she's managed to develop some rather pesky feelings for him.” Pesky feelings ? That’s how you call it, not sleeping because she keeps waking up from very vivid and graphic double black diamond rated dreams ? That’s how you call the furious pace of her heartbeat whenever he’s there, whether physically or in her mind ? LOLZ. I call that desire and want and love and lust. Not pesky feelings.
“And oh, how she hates herself for that. She's supposed to be better than that. Stronger. She's not the kind of girl to tumble utterly head over heels just for a nice body and a sexy smirk…” LOLZ. As if, Kiki.
“…and yet, she kind of hates that it's more than that with him, because that means admitting that he's found his way just that far underneath her skin, without her permission. And damn him, of course he's made himself a nice little home there and she doesn't think she'll ever be able to get him out, he's just that persistent.” AND HE IS NEVER LEAVING BECAUSE HOME IS WHEREVER YOU ARE, BABY GIRL. And you don’t hate that he’s wormed his way inside your heart and life (and soon *you*), you silly girl. You couldn’t live without him anymore now. Don’t try denying it, it’s pointless – like some people’s existence.
JELLY KIKI! (who will never knee him in the groin because she needs the sword too damn much to damage it). And lol, you don’t have a better comeback than “You’re delusional” ? Really, Kensi ? God, girl, you suck – and Deeks likey.
OOOOOH! He’s spinning her back to face him and and and God, that is just so hot. The little touches are the ones that are the most filled with intensity and electricity, I love it!
“And suddenly, something has changed. The air between them thickens and heats, and Kensi knows immediately that everything else is about to shift as well. He eyes her, his gaze darting momentarily to her lips (damn the way her stomach tightens at that) as he speaks.” THIS IS IT! I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it, and I know I know I know I want you! (Kensi’s thoughts). Oh, shivers as he whispers! I’m shivering because his low voice combined with those eyes fixed on her lips… goddammit that’s so fucking sexy. He’s so, so hot.
SOMETHING MORE! “She knows that's not what he means though just by the look in his eyes. The playful spark remains, but underneath it, there's something more. Something heavier. Something she's not going to attempt to name lest he merely be trying to throw her off balance. When he speaks again, though, she's almost certain that it's less about throwing her off balance, and more about something more. It's a sudden change, like hot to cold in two seconds flat and the resulting sensations range from the grasp of his hand fiery at her wrist to the block of ice that's just dropped into her stomach. "What if it was the other way around?" he queries quietly, his blue eyes never straying from hers.”
SQUEALS! All the squeals in the world! Dammit, God, I love love love it! That story, the whole conversation, the heaviness, the heat, the spark! Everything. You are the Queen of all things perfect. How does that feel ?
“With a question like that, she should make him leave. She should step right back over to the door, yank it open, and throw Deeks back out into the night. That's what she should do because dammit, a simple question like that so completely crosses the boundary they've oh so carefully danced around for a year now.” *As if you could make him leave, Kens. Now, or ever. You don’t want to. You want him here, with you, forever. You’re upset BECAUSE he wasn’t today, you silly girl.*
SEXY LAWYER! Smart tongue, very very talented one for that matter.
AND HERE IT COMES, THE GREATNESS, THE AWESOMENESS, YOUR HIGHNESS JESS WHO RULES DA WORLD OF KEEKS. “But then she surprises him by turning everything upside down again. Kensi could taunt him, she could argue with him, she could throw her hands up in frustration and growl about how much he infuriates her, but instead, she merely tugs her wrist from his grasp and crosses her arms over her chest. She fixes him with a gaze that he can't quite read before quietly saying the words he never thought he'd hear her say, not after he'd stopped her that morning, and then later when she'd effectively shot him down from the backseat of his car.
"Okay." She sighs, readying herself for a conversation they need to have, but at the same time, she's not sure they should have. "I…think we need to talk."”
THE TALK !
“Kensi nods stiffly. "We need to talk," she repeats, inwardly surprised at just how steady her voice is when suddenly her heart's nearly pounding out of her chest. This is dangerous territory; up until now, playing it safe had been perfectly okay by her. She'd ignored it, this…this whatever it is that's been growing between them and outside of a few playful remarks, he hadn't pushed it. She knows if she opens this door now…there's no closing it.
At the same time, though, she's no longer sure she can just leave it closed either.” AND SHE DON’T WANNA! Just yank it open and rush into it, Kens! You won’t be disappointed.
OUR THING! Awww. I just love it when they say ‘we’, ‘us’ and ‘our’!
Oh God I love that. “It's not a yes, but it's also not a "there is no thing," either. Deeks really isn't sure what to make of it; all he knows is that there's no other way to approach it than cautiously. "You really want to do this?" he asks quietly, all trace of humor gone from his voice. He's unsure as to which one of them he's trying to give an out to.
She exhales heavily, knowing this could either be a huge step forward, or several hundred steps back for them. "I think we need to," she replies after a moment, giving an almost helpless shrug. Before he can respond, Kensi makes that first leap, knowing that if she doesn't now, she probably never will.”
Awww, poor Kensi. #YESISAIDTHAT . The look on her face in the bullpen, the ache of the day, the fear of never getting him back… You just know that’s her biggest nightmare. Losing him. And maybe losing him as a partner could be bearable if only they got to still *be* themselves, Kensi and Deeks, Keeks, Densi, together. But I don’t think neither of them could be satisfied with that. It’s all or nothing with these two, and I don’t think they could deal with not being partners anymore. And, sure, his going back to LAPD is better than his dying, but all in all, she’d lose him and I am certain that Kensi is not ready fo