Reviews for Drow Tales
DaLintyMan chapter 1 . 1/30/2013
I think your numbers are a TAD bit high, especially the Intercepter.
MrPowell chapter 1 . 8/17/2012
I am of two minds about this.
From the geeky/nerdy side I'm loving the tech manual, even if I'm occasionally baffled by the numbers you're tossing around (15,000,000,000 Disruptors on a 50,000 meter ship? Really? Do you realize that's an avarage of 300,000 "Gatling PD disruptors" in each and every meter? How big are these things? How would you be able to fit in over 177 other weapons systems on each meter?). I myself have occasionally succomed to the desire to design the vessels I plan to write about, so I can see where you're coming from.
However, from the author's point of view, you're cheating your reader and yourself when you write chapters like this. Many readers will skim over information like this, especially when it's in list format like this, and will then become confused when they need that information. Really, it's better for you and the reader if you can fit this information in as part of the story, perhaps in a paragraph such as this:
"Kelsier looked out at her vessel and saw rows upon rows of weapon emplacements and hundreds of Gatling disruptor batteries, and that was just in the first hundred meters in front of the bridge before the hull dropped steeply out of view, to continue on in the rest of the vessel's proud 50,000 meter grey glory. A kaxon from one of the tech's stations alerted the bridge that the 'Smuggler's Ruin' one of the five Dominance class Cruisers that made berth in her ship, itself a fully functional battleship, was coming in to dock. Flights of Black Rose Interceptors moved to clear the space between the two larger ships like massive swarms of gnats, as a communications officer approaced her, likely wishing to inform her of some report or another from one of her hundreds of Shaladar Destroyers that had been doing recon in the surrounding space."
Folding the necessary information into the story this way makes if far more accessable to the reader, which really is a good thing. You'll notice that I shied away from expressly stating too many numbers, as while such information is nice to have as the author, many readers simply don't need or want to know. If you feel you must include specifics, try to space them out, and if possible work them into dialogue. ("How many Lance Turrets do we have again Ensign?" "Eh, two and a half million, m'am.") You will also note that when I could I avoided numerals, as many readers find they disrupt the flow of reading. One rule of thumb here is when it's an exact number greater than either ten or fifteen, type it out. Another way to measure it is to only use numerals when you want to emphasize a specific amount (50,000 meter grey glory). To combine the two try to stick to generalities when dealing with large numbers. Say things like "Hundreds" or "Rows upon rows". If you can, try to mix imagry into the writing (A devil's garden of weapons).
Doing things like this will empart the information to the reader, while avoiding turning them off. It's important for you to know these things, so that when the time is right, you can drop the specifics, but does your reader really need to be able to look at it all?
NightIncarnate chapter 5 . 2/2/2012
Summarized Reviews of All 5 Chapters:

-Chapter One/Techy: O_O *spasm of nerdiness* Teehee!

-Chapter Two: Nice Intro, well written, definitely one of a kind as for the idea and plot behind everything. In my personal opinion I think Sirokass got the most out of the deal... Just sayin'.

-Chapter Three: Wow, Harry just got wiped off the map and made into a badass chick. Well written and the plot is solid, the writing is maybe a tad bit jumpy, but not too much and I'm not going to complain about it. Haha I can imagine Dumbledore's face... O_o "omfg a Drow, wtf man, wtf?" And Ron is so screwed... he's going to faint so much from arachniphobia.

-Chapter Four: SHOPPING! Lucius is an asshole, so is his son... up until like the very end then Draco's just a cowardly boy with an almost mustache. Btw... I HATE GILDEROY LOCKHART! ( ALL CAPS RAGE!

... In conclusion, *applauds* a well rounded and well written story so far... keep it up.
RedEyedSurprise chapter 4 . 1/13/2012
I forgot for a moment that Ron was afraid of spiders so I was "Ha! That's right, you weeny! I forgot ur afraid of the spiders!" My co-worker looked at me funny cuz I said outloud and I laughed.
RedEyedSurprise chapter 3 . 1/13/2012
Hmm, interesting~ You could put away the swords now! I'm not supposed to be checking my e-mail during work, but here I am, lol. I was bored. Anyway, I wonder how it's going to be when she goes to Hogwarts. 110 to be considered adults? That's a long time! And I'm reading on...
Nedy Rahn chapter 4 . 1/8/2012
Hmmm... Harry gets to go through Hogwarts again, but this time as Cleric of Lolth named Lillith. She will have to invest in sunglasses, or welders safety glasses that are Shade 5 with perhaps a gold coating similar to that of astronauts helmets.
Nedy Rahn chapter 3 . 12/20/2011
This reads like a Dragonstar game. I wonder if you played that in conjunction with your Forgotten Realms campaign. I played a few games of this D20 DnD SciFi spin off associated with the Forgotten Realms campaign some friends and I used to play nearly a decade ago. Well I'm having some fun reading this story as it is to date.
god of all chapter 3 . 12/19/2011
Great chapter and story so far please continue this story soon.
god of all chapter 2 . 12/8/2011
Great chapter and story so far please continue this story soon.
darkplayer35 chapter 2 . 12/2/2011
Interesting start. It has potential. Please update soon.
meow114 chapter 2 . 12/1/2011
nice start, i like that you have combined technolgy and magic, i hope that you keep writing more XD