|Reviews for The Rules by Cave Johnson|
| Gogo1100 chapter 1 . 4/6
Rule 7.5 Billion: Anyone who considers joining Black Mesa will be shot on sight. Yes, we can read your mind.
| SmartGirl333 chapter 1 . 4/5
oh cave you are awesome
and I faved because of the no.7 at the end-
it looks like Caveline is shipped by you
it's definitely shipped by me
| Spidershadow5 chapter 1 . 3/3
Rule 563: Anyone who mentions the multiverse testing initiative and/or Dark Cave is fired. I mean it!
Rule 661: Whoever's dating Caroline at the moment, when you do break up with her, could you please be nice about it? Seriously, if I have to listen to one more late night drunken sob story, I swear I'm going to kill someone.
| Dragonofelder chapter 1 . 11/10/2014
Here's one: Please don't mention space around the space core. He will shut up.
And howabout: If the technician that created the AI for the space core comes forwards, I promise him...er...cake. Yes, cake, and... a day with his core. Actually, a month.
| Mac-The-Editor chapter 1 . 9/25/2014
Rule number 12345: "The password should NOT always be 'Swordfish!' Not only is that a stupid reference, but every single complaint filed about stolen property came from those with that password. Don't use reference passwords on your luggage! Our spies-in-training need better codes than tha-" (The recording snaps off with a crackle of static.)
| Krulla Chief chapter 1 . 6/25/2014
Rule Number 0. Science is always capatilised. If you do not say the word Science without proper capatilization, you will be fired. This means you Dave.
Rule Number 999. I plead the 5th
Rule Number 256. If all else fails you aren't doing your job right.
Rule Number 777. Jackpot baby.
Rule Number 4952. If Caroline asks you to taste her cooking, remember, F.E.A.R. Fuck everything and run. If you are brave enough to try it, and somehow survive, You will be paid $100 and taken in for testing on how you did.
Rule Number pi. See Rule Number 3.14
Rule Number. 2345. If you see a man in Black Mesa HEV gear, if his name is Gordon Freeman, send him to time travel booth 01. If not, sen him to our nearest trapdoor.
| AreYouReady chapter 1 . 4/4/2014
This is glorious.
| Pizzadone chapter 1 . 3/12/2014
Rule 3.14: We will not be celebrating holidays based on numerical values. We'll celebrate SCIENCE!
Rule 34: Do not go on any sites condoning this particular rule!
Rule 523: If you are approached by a rouge AI, don't panic! Chances are, it works for us and not Black Mesa.
Rule 491: We highly discourage not testing, not only will that not get you out of testing, it will not further science! So just suck it up and TEST!
Rule 65: If at any time you feel like testing, just speak up and tell any testing associate around you. If you already agreed to testing, then hurry up an also mark yourself as an Aperture-Approved organ donor in the employee database. We just want to make sure we can get a little bit of profit from your failure- I mean, contribution to science!
| Dzonewolf chapter 1 . 1/20/2014
69: There will be no sixty-nines in this facility, therefore this is Number 70, good day.
| Whateverwhatever chapter 1 . 12/31/2013
Rule 34: NO JOKES ABOUT RULE 34. SAME GOES FOR RULE 69.
| Snowstar20 chapter 1 . 11/28/2013
Here's an idea, I suppose:
We are not responsible for any casualties that result in looking at the operational end of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. If you ask again, you will not be receiving your 60 bucks.
| hola chapter 1 . 8/28/2013
#300-Anyone yelling 'This is APERTURE' will be fired on sight. Seriously, people. It's getting old.
| neoneco chapter 1 . 3/1/2013
Rule 792 : "I'm not going insane! Saying you can go there is like insanity is a place! But really, if it were a place, then you would have to go IN! You see! To go insane really means to go into sanity! So even if I were going insane, I would be completely fine! Which I'm not. Insane, that is. Dammit, just turn the mike off."
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/7/2012
Number (something): All womens. Don't inject conversion gel in your v(cut of). It's not sp(cut of aigan).
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/7/2012
"Number 365: If you happen to see a red lizzard looking being, please leave the area becuase all of the lego... Things, we summoned from the lego summoning project is escaping. So, unless you wan't to be mutadet into a snake, please stay of."