|Reviews for To the Sky|
| Jack the bean chapter 2 . 2/20
It's okay I guess too much love toward nimft
| Masquerade man1234 chapter 2 . 1/25
This is a good story , just so sad it will go on uncompleted .
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/16/2013
the only thing i found bad about it is that there isnt a chapter 3 yet :(
| shadowfiguredeath10 chapter 2 . 7/22/2013
You need lemon I kidding make tomoki be nymphs master
| Dragon-wing chapter 2 . 12/29/2012
POST A GAWD DAMM CHAPTER
| Erza Fullbuster LOVE chapter 2 . 8/14/2012
continualo, me gusta mucho esta pareja! es muy kawaii
| TabiNoTochuu chapter 2 . 8/5/2012
I thought I would just take a quick look at the story you've written. All in all, I have to say you're a pretty good writer. Though the chapters are short, they lack the grammatical mistakes and horrible mistakes a good 75% of the stories on this site contain (no offense to others, but it's true).
I would suggest trying out a longer, more detailed chapter. Give the reader more details about how the characters are feeling, what the surrounding environment is like, and other such details. It may seem trivial and superficial at first, but sometimes, those small details are what distinguishes an average story from a phenomenal one.
I have nothing to criticize about grammar and word usage. Take your time in developing the storyline, and write the story how you want it to progress. Don't allow yourself to be swayed by the words of a reader. What you want to write is your own, and should not be greatly influenced by others.
Other than that, I hope to see more from you eventually, and I wish you luck with either continuing this story or beginning a new one.
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/4/2012
Well what i like in a good read is less small stuff like how he undresses n stuff(unless it has some deeper meaning) and more breath taking scenes... which make you wanna giggle or sth like that :p .
| kipper5678 chapter 1 . 6/1/2012
Great story, but, you haven't updated this for quite a while...
| A2ZOMG chapter 1 . 1/25/2012
Funny that you consider Tomoki self-centered and egotistic. I just consider what he does an exaggeration of being normal. Objectively speaking, his behavior makes a lot more sense than that of the behavior of your typical male harem protagonist, who for baffling reasons seems to go out of his way to pretend he's gay or otherwise uninterested in women 9 times out of 10. If anything I pity you that you find his behavior undesirable.
And while he does act like an idiot at non-serious times, he's a very mature person when it counts (so it's actually not out of character at all to portray Tomoki as being mature, when that's actually a prominent part of his personality in the show). I prefer a protagonist who doesn't pretend to be goody goody and actually acts honestly towards his desires. It makes a lot more sense than these idealized and bland male protagonists that too often plague harems these days. Thus the times he does act mature, it actually seems worthwhile, whereas with other characters, it just often feels like a lame act.
I'm in the process of editing an M rated fanfiction of my own to be put on this site, but you could check my DA account if you want to see my impressions of Tomoki with Ikaros instead. P