|Reviews for The Touch of Time|
| ShadowAngelBeta chapter 3 . 9/5/2012
New Girl comes, kicks ass, breaks engagement, invites guy to live at her house all in the same day... Well that's just Ranma and it oddly enough fits.
Just don't do something that quickly again too soon and pay proper attention to the fallout from it and you'll be in a very good spot.
| Gillian Grayson chapter 3 . 8/15/2012
Oh my god, that last part was so cute! Ranma x Setsuna stories are the BEST. I don't normally beg like this, but please, please, please, please update soon.
| Ryuus2 chapter 3 . 8/11/2012
This is very interesting. I haven't read many Ranma/SM stories, mostly because I just don't think the 'Sailor Terra' thing is very likely, nor do I think Ranma would ever willingly go through with being a Senshi. But I really like ones like this, where Ranma meets the Senshi, fights alongside them, and eventually gets it on with Setsuna. I don't know what it is about the two of them that works, but it does.
Actually, this reminds me a lot of my own crossover, 'Ranma Story' (more imaginative title pending). Akane smacks Ranma into Juuban, Ranma beats monster, Ranma says hi. Plot, also, pending.
I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes. Especially who feints when they see Serenity's analogue :) I'm betting on Luna; and also that Haruka will try flirting with her.
Keep up the great work!
| Hitokage Higure chapter 3 . 8/7/2012
| deathgeonous chapter 3 . 7/18/2012
Nice fic. Looking forward to more. Thanks for writing this, bye for now.
| hmfan 2.0 chapter 3 . 7/7/2012
My only issue with this story is that Ranma and Setsuna are very out of character. Other than that the story is a decent idea. Ranma is very honor bound and can't just drop everything and go away from Nerima. Also lack of cold water usage.
| Katsuhito chapter 3 . 6/30/2012
This is a neat beginning. While there are cliches in here, I don't see that as a necessarily bad thing. Not to mention, with the amount of R/SM stories out there, it's almost impossible to avoid, since many of those "cliches" have essentially become "fannon." (Yes, I'm kinda rebutting Cheb's review comment. I'll read their fic next. :) )
The only crit I have on this one, is the use of the Serenity PICA as supporting cast. That just seems a little contrived and screams "author plot device here!" If its there to help Pluto get things done, well, I would think that someone with 15 millennium's worth of experience could get stuff done on their own, once given instruction. I'd have left the message from Serenity as just a hologram at the Gates, maybe an interactive one, but not something that would contribute to the characters' efforts as this one seems to be. (Although, so far, it hasn't really done anything, but I could see it going that way.)
However, that's just a small thing. I look forward to the next chapter!
| Cheb chapter 2 . 6/22/2012
The idea is interesting but the fic is swarming with cliches (also, look up "Flanderization"). Still, I gave it benefit of doubt. It was amusing to read until this part: 'if you woke up one morning with your room full of, oh let's say, cockroachs?" Ranma enjoyed the shudder and flinch he got from the stoic senshi.', which promptly sent the general OOCness skyrocketing well past my tolerance limits. I won't read further.
This is NOT Ranma. He wouldn't say that to a girl. Enjoying a girl suffer? Come on. Next, he has a compulsive need to keep rooms clean. The thought of releasing roaches just wouldn't enter his mind. Not to mention it's too pathetic for him to react so strongly to a mere nausea.
That's on top of him being too fortcoming with personal details to complete strangers in the earlier scenes.
If you make a character act out-of-character then cook up an explanation, at least, as I did with Akane in my fic.
| Bobboky chapter 3 . 4/29/2012
| billy13579 chapter 3 . 4/28/2012
Sweet! I'm really liking this story so far.
I know you originally intended this as a side project, but I definitely hope you make it one of your main stories and it's going well and has quite a bit of potential.
| Collin Oshea chapter 3 . 4/28/2012
Great chapter, keep up the good work.
| Dumbledork chapter 3 . 4/28/2012
I really enjoyed tha chapter.
| DarkStrider chapter 3 . 4/27/2012
Love it so far! I always like Ranma/Setsuna stories (as long as they're well written) and this one has the makings of a wonderfully crafted tale. Hope that you continue this soon!
| gaiawolf chapter 3 . 4/27/2012
This story is beyond good. I realy am a fan of Ranma sailor moon cross overs, but all of the good ones are over a decade old. I hope you continue this story as it, it is excellent. The last good story with Setsuna and Serenity interacting that I have read was by Ozzallos.
Please keep this up.
| King Tarol chapter 3 . 4/27/2012
You know, I don't entirely remember, but I'm fairly certain that I guessed the change to Setsuna correctly.
Honestly, I shouldn't be surprised that Setsuna can do the things that she did in this chapter. There might be some slight balancing issues, but that might also be due to my inability to find any information regarding Shephon whatsoever.
Also, there's something about Ranma that seems almost...too well-adjusted, and I'm not sure if having a strange day is a good enough reason for that. My opinions regarding that may be somewhat off-center, though. If I read enough of one style of fanfic, I start basing my opinions on the characters off of it, I guess.
I've been learning that well-written Alternate Character Interpretation can make or break a story. Humans are human, and this makes it easy for a writer to make a hero or a villain out of them. I've seen Ranma paired up with so many characters, all for good reasons, that while I'm not universally for or against any character or ship, I can say with certainty that your Akane is scum, and that she really did need a chronological boot to the head. PM me if you want examples of ACI that I've seen in JUST the Ranma 1/2-Sailor Moon crossovers.
Also, you practically hung a lampshade on yourself a few times during this chapter. I believe either Serenity, Setsuna, or both were thinking at some point how strange it was that Setsuna's relationship with Ranma was progressing at the speed it was. I read this, and it makes me think that you were rushing things a bit.
And since you stated that the Setsuna vs. Akane fight didn't originally have as much length or impact as it ended up having, I have to wonder if maybe the Akane-bashing is controlling your plot a bit more than it should? Yes, in this story, she has all the tact, manners, and kindness of a rabid gorilla being chased by a T-rex. But the immediate aftereffects of the Setsuna vs. Akane fight indirectly caused a huge increase in the speed of formation of RanmaxSetsuna. I'm not sure if a minor mutual attraction spell can cause that.
Which leads me to bring up Serenity. I feel like the ability to orchestrate events that you gave her is a little suspect. Anything that either Ranma or Setsuna need is automatically taken care of, except for the looming threats of the NWC and the Great Freeze. But those don't seem quite important enough, especially seeing how Setsuna is nearly Ranma-tier without magic. Two martial artists of that caliber, one with very potent magic, means that the NWC isn't any more of a threat than Ranma and Setsuna want it to be, especially if the other Senshi back them. The Great Freeze might be enough of a threat to keep everyone on their toes, though, if that first monster fight was any indication.
Overall, not bad. It's a bit convoluted at times, and a bit focused on Ranma, Setsuna, and their skills, but the story is still young, and what happened in this chapter has a big effect and a lot of potential to tread new ground. After all, I can't say that I've ever seen Akane lose her betrothal in a fight in any other fanfic before. Just think of how that'll affect the rest of the Ranma 1/2 cast, and you might even be able to throw something completely unexpected in there. You can do similar things with the Great Freeze as well. Maybe go into possible origins (later), or something that deepens it from "looming death" to something more sinister, or the wrath of nature, or something like that.
If you think I was too harsh in this review, remember this: I wouldn't give you suggestions that (I hope!) give you plot-bunnies if I thought that this story was bad. I overplayed some of the tendencies I saw to give you the opportunity to explain them; work them out of the story over time. What's done is done, after all.
But really, quick-moving relationships and plotlines have their own advantage. They decrease angst, which can bog down a story in nearly all cases. It's likely for the best that you avoided it. So keep writing, because you're doing fine.