|Reviews for Refractions|
| DELETEDFORGOODDDDDD chapter 10 . 10/15/2012
Maybe it's just me but there was no romance in this. It was barely a drarry story. No offense. Good writing, really. It was good, just there could have been more drarry, even if it's light drarry.
| Broken.is.my.name chapter 10 . 4/3/2012
I love it. :)
| NekoSukie chapter 1 . 2/26/2012
Oops - I reviewed without signing in. I'm Appleling (my lj username) - the reviewer below. And an instant fan of your story!
| Appleling chapter 10 . 2/26/2012
Hello! Firstly, allow me to fangirl all over you for a moment... *tackleglompcuddle*
OMG this is amazing! Your overall plot's highly interesting, your characters are wonderfully canon and the whole suspense/mystery thing behind the rings and Draco... all very thrilling!
Firstly, I like the pace of the fic. It's dramatic and fast; intriguingly suspenseful without being irritatingly teasing (you know, without the whole dangling something you desperately want only to snatch it out from under your nose just when you reach for it... and leaving you just wanting and coming up empty). I like your Draco. You've painted him vulnerably human and not quite a self-serving coward he used to be - and yet still keeping him in character with his canon self! You made him Draco. Still a Malfoy, yes; Still a Slytherin, yes; Still a coward, yes; Still a git... sometimes, yes; But you made him more 'Draco' rather than 'Draco Malfoy, Slytherin poster child, son of a Death Eater, clone of Lucius, epitome of all things evil...yadda yadda'. And I like Harry! He's just so Harry! All protective and hero-ish! I also like the idea behind the rings and the all the adventure scenes. They were like... WHOA!
With all the fluffy fangirly worship-y moments done, *puts on the serious mask*...
As much as I enjoyed myself very much reading this, I can't help but shake my head in daze and go, "Huh. Wait. Wha-what?" at times. Especially towards the middle of the fic and then all the way to the ending.
Your pace throughout the fic is fast and I like that very much, yes; but it'll do better to slow down at times, provide a bit more substantial background info, more elaboration on magical theory and execution, more character development, more descriptive interaction between the Trio and Draco... and Draco with the Weasleys and/or the Order members... you know, the ANCHOR behind the story. The thing that would make the story REAL and the characters come ALIVE in your head. Erm, okay... I suspect I might be confusing you a little so allow me to explain.
First off... Draco's magicless condition and memory loss. I understand that his memory loss is the result of prolonged exposure to The Ring (yes, I've decided to call it that - with capitals - in my head). But it'll do better to describe what kind of gapes/holes the thing's leaving inside Draco's head and how that affects him. Honestly if I were to wake up knowing that I've bathed and eaten but without knowing HOW that came about - I'd freak or at the very least I'd sit still awhile and just ponder over WHY the bloody hell can't I remember. WHAT was the last thing I remember..WHY would it be important to remember..WHAT happened..HOW and WHY did I forget..Should I be relieved I can't remember? Should I panic? Should I try my damnest to get my memory back?... And Draco just seemed to accept his condition without putting much of a fight. The same thing with Harry when he lost his memory.
Draco's magicless condition - HOW did he realised he lost his magic? Wasn't he supposed to have lost his memory regarding events concerning the ring? Shouldn't he be fretting/worrying over his condition? The Draco Malfoy I know would be angryterrifiedashamedhating himself for feeling so vulnerablefeeling somewhat needy because he needs some sort of reassurance that he isn't useless... and a multitude of other conflicting emotions. His feelings/thoughts/resulting actions/resulting trauma/body language/facial expression... well, SOMETHING and EVERYTHING within him should be dead confused and terrified... and all thought should have been translated in how he carries himself.
Hermione's reasoning and theories on what happened and how whatever it is happened - everything's so abrupt without any explanation on how she came to the answer or at the very least a theory of an answer in the first place. The story could do better by providing little bits and pieces of the titles of books, small excerpts of articles or at the very least some sort of explanation of what the hell is going on in her head... it's rather confusing and sometimes it forces the reader to backtrack several chapters/paragraphs back to try to trace the origins of her thoughts.
The breaking into the Malfoy Library - WHY? HOW - what was that interesting spell Hermione cast to break the wards? The Malfoys are famous for their staunch beliefs in magical blood purity - how the blazes did Hermione even managed to overcome that? What were they looking for in that library? How did Harry know they need to get out of the library NOW? Draco's flashback... isn't really a flashback... it's random bits and pieces of sentences... what happened?
The Elizabeth girl... who is she? How did Hermione know her? The article that Hermione read about someone else with something similar to Draco's condition... what's it about? How is it related to Draco? Who is Draco to Elizabeth? Why did he care for her? Why is she sick? Is she Draco's age? Is she older? Is she younger? What's her story? Her past? Why would she want to help Draco? What does Hermione think could cure Draco? The failure behind Hermione's little experiment with Elizabeth - the Trio should be aghast at what happened. Why are they so seemingly blase about it? Draco's memory loss/blockage and pieces of his returning memory - to what extend are his memories/mind impaired with the resulting holes between one memory and the other? There are so many questions floating around in my head at that chapter and it's all so very confusing.
There are references to a lot of 'it-s', 'this-s', 'that-s' - WHAT is 'it'? What does 'this' mean? It'll be nice to at least have the 'it', 'this', 'that' identified at least once in the beginning of the excerpt before everybody calling it as an 'it', 'this' or 'that' - because backtracking and reading back previous paragrahs and/or chapters makes things confusing.
Death Eaters attacking Hogwarts and kidnapping (subsequently killing) a girl... why? how? what?
And then Hermione writing to Narcissa behind Harry and Draco's back. Hermione taking Harry's invisibility cloak - shouldn't there at least be some sort of argument or a little bit of negative backlash from Hermione's "I-know-best" attitude and rather selfish actions? There seemed to be lacking descriptive interactions between everyone towards the end of the fic. They're all mostly conversations-only scenes.
Maybe you can't answer them all in conversations exchanged between the characters; but you could also provide a bit of a story behind their exchanges. Maybe a flashback to scene back in the past. Maybe a memory playing itself out. Maybe a descriptive psychoanalyzing moment... and the like. Or maybe trying to view/understand a character from the eyes of another character. Or maybe you can have it gradually illustrated through the actionsfacial expressionsbody languageinteractions between one character to the other.
Then again, all that... in my humble opinion only. So, you needn't take them seriously if you don't want to. And honestly, no offense intended because I truly enjoyed myself very much reading this story. From chapter 1 to 10. You have a talent for writing and THAT is the TRUTH!
Wonderful premise! Very intriguing plot! And I'm definitely bookmarking this for second reads or thirds or more - because it's unique and I like it a lot! Well done! And I truly, truly hope... for the sake of my sanity, that you'll continue this story sometime in the near future when you have time - because this is SO SO GOOD and I do LOVE IT SO SO MUCH that I'm DYING for the continuation of this story! You are already doing so well with this and it'll be shame to abandon this.
I look forward to reading more from you... and especially this story.
| KageNekoReborn chapter 10 . 2/25/2012
Going to be sad until u start again.
| Brit chapter 10 . 2/24/2012
I am curious to know what the plan is from Voldemort. And how this puzzle will be solved.
I've greatly enjoyed this story so far! Sad to see it'll be the end for a while.
| M3-canUseeMe chapter 9 . 2/11/2012
it was nice and interestin to read this story. I really like it, so u have to update soon. The plot was different in a good way )
| jujukittychick chapter 9 . 1/19/2012
how do i like the mystery? omg you're freaking killing me with it! lmfao this story is so intense and convoluted (in a good way) and just omg you've done a wonderful job with it, but i keep running out! i wanna know what happens dammit! lol loved ron and mione's little conversation about the boys though and clueless -ron- pointing out how they feel though he did acknowledge it took him and mione seven years to figure it out...hopefully draco and harry are faster studies lol keep up the great work, can't wait to see what happens next :D
| Mister Jackkkk chapter 9 . 1/19/2012
Ah! So good! But I want more Drarry moments! I don't remember if I mentioned it previously or not, but I'm happy you include Teddy, a lot of other authors seem to forget about him...
| stopthis2015 chapter 8 . 1/11/2012
please hurry and update(:
| jujukittychick chapter 8 . 1/11/2012
do we learn more about who this elizabeth is or is it just a random past friend of draco's? and liked the frequent sex cure, too bad draco didn't walk in for that conversation *snickers* keep up the good work, can't wait to see what happens next :)
| Brit chapter 8 . 1/11/2012
Yay, I'm so glad you're continuing this! Great chapter!
| Mister Jackkkk chapter 8 . 1/10/2012
-squee!- The ending of this chapter, though maddening with Draco's loss of magic and dreams is laced so sweetly with a comforting Harry. _
Can't wait for the next chapter!
| teh annoying rooster chapter 8 . 1/10/2012
I was so afraid that you were gone, even though it hadn't been that long... Awesome! I love stories like this, lots of action that helps build the characters, and, thus, their relationships. Love it! I'll be sitting by for the update!
| Mister Jackkkk chapter 7 . 12/30/2011
Oh my goodness, I forgot to leave a review!
Thank-you for taking my suggestion into consideration! It is truly interesting, and instead of showing your cards on the table as I thought it would, you've only allowed me to peek at the possibilities! I do believe you'll have a winning hand though, because I'm hooked on this fic!