|Reviews for Mass dragon|
| wertheren chapter 3 . 7/8/2013
looking forward to the next chapter. there are a few spelling mistakes but nothing mager
| Kithrin chapter 3 . 4/17/2013
Some grammar mistakes, but this has potential.
| AsatorPrime chapter 3 . 7/20/2012
Interesting start, it's good to see a crossover where the DA characters end up in the ME universe. Hope you update soon.
| Monkey D. Lyna chapter 3 . 6/24/2012
OMG Will you please upload! THis is such a cool story and there arent many crossovers! Please!
| FairLuthien chapter 1 . 3/19/2012
I second the first reviewer. You have a lot of basic grammar mistakes that is very putting off to read. You have many run-on sentences which makes it very hard to follow the prose. I was able to ignore the first few, but they just kept piling up. Also, you really need to watch capitalization. There are others, but too many to call out. You need someone to edit your work.
Keep at it, and you will get better. Writing doesn't just come overnight. When you repost this story with an updated, edited version of this stor, I will be more than happy to give it another read. Right now, I can't even give it a proper review because of the errors, I couldn't even finish the chapter.
| Agent-G chapter 1 . 1/22/2012
Well I'll be blunt, you need help with your writing. I honestly think you need a beta before posting anything else, in fact get someone to proofread your stuff and repost the story and people will be more interested. There are so many errors in this and it's usually the same ones.
You make spaces after the quote marks for no reason, forget to make certain words or names capitalized, you used commas instead of periods. A lot of little things that just add up over time. Also you need some way of making a transition to a new scene. The just to the ME part of the story was so suddenly it's like getting reader whiplash.
Some of the dilogue seemed out of place as well to me, also not a Logain fan and I usually ended up killing the bastard every time just because I felt he deserved it. I also felt the Grey Warden name was a little out of place in a fantasy setting.
Anyways those last points were just person opinion but you really should consider the first ones to help as when most people read this story they most likely are put off by all the mistakes made in the writing.