|Reviews for The Pureblood Pretense|
| Sethera chapter 22 . 1/2/2014
Hello I just finished this story and have to say I'm frankly amazed. The amount of intricacy, complexity, intrigue, and plot points interweaving with a faithful combination of two vastly different book series just stuns me. Completely. I see both a bit of Alanna and canon!Harry in Harry Potter slash Rigel Black. Usually I dislike OOCness in any characters, especially main ones, but there are times when it is done well and in this case I hesitate to even call Harry OOC, but rather a combination of two different canon personalities.
As for your other characters, I think their actions and behavioral changes are merited when this Harry is so different. She's like a hurricane that changes everything around her (I almost called her a him). I can definitely see why Riddle is interested in his progress.
This story has made me want to reread the Tamora Pierce books for the umpteenth time. For the past few years I've actually not touched the books but this story definitely makes me want to go back to them (and perhaps look into the other Song of the Lioness fanfiction stories as well).
Also a question that may or may not be answered once I've read what you've done with the sequel so far (and that you don't have to answer as well since it'd be pretty spoilerific). It's fairly obvious that Draco is Prince Jonathan's equivalent though for me less so if Fred and George are George Cooper's equivalent. If this is the case, then does that mean that Harry will ultimately end up with either of them or Draco? As for me, I support a faithful rendition of the books such as her ultimately ending up with one of them and Draco meeting a Thayet equivalent such as Astoria Greengrass, though I'd be curious as to you would combine the two. However, I can see that as the stories go on circumstances might change, your opinion might change, and my opinion might change. So I don't expect an answer, I just wanted to throw this question out there for you (so that you'd know there was at least one person wondering about it).
Also Faithful. I love Faithful. I REALLY hope Harry meets a Faithful equivalent in the sequel, because he's awesome and one of my FAVORITE characters from the series. I was really happy to read him in multiple books. So yeah. Wonder if it'll be Hedwig, since she seems the most likely equivalent, though Faithful was a bit more active in helping out his companion and it would be really awesome if you gave Hedwig some of his personality, which seems to change depending on his companion to be a foil for them. For canon!Harry, Hedwig seemed proper and proud, but not sure whether she'd stay that way for this Harry or be a bit different. Well it's your decision I guess so yeah.
Loved this story and I'm sure I'll love the other one just as much, if not more. :D
| feathers chapter 22 . 12/31/2013
Thank you, it's lovely.
| feathers chapter 16 . 12/31/2013
My, my, murky, the enumeratio overwhelms. This last bit's pretty interesting, with more politics and how we see how complicated things are for RigelHarry, which I like a lot, btw (the names, I mean). Makes everything a lot less complicated and also highlights the shift from school-Rigel to home-Harry, which is kind of really 2 different people.
| feathers chapter 15 . 12/31/2013
POV switches can be really annoying, but since you don't toss them at the story like Skittles, this chapter was pretty fun. I liked seeing Archie's personality a bit more, although it's a little confusing-this is probably just for me personally, but Archie just sounds like a pudgy, bumbling name to me, and reading him charm people apparently left and right just jars me a bit. Nice tying in the "Troll in the dungeons!"
| feathers chapter 10 . 12/30/2013
I really like your A/Ns. They're relevant and concise.
| feathers chapter 5 . 12/30/2013
Yeah, so, so far, I really like this one. And here I'd thought I'd lost my taste for HP ffn. Thanks, murky:)
| ksecc1 chapter 1 . 12/30/2013
I have to admit I'm rereading this to catch up on the details. And I just want to reiterate that this is my very favorite story on this site and I was heartbroken when it seemed to be discontinued. (OK. So that's a little melodramatic. But I was very sad.). Thanks for continuing. I can't wAit to read year three.
| Ergoemos chapter 6 . 12/22/2013
Okay, after this, I probably won't be reviewing these chapters two at a time. A couple thoughts overall. The mechanics of your writing (sentence structure, punctuation, spelling, all that jazz) are top-notch. No question at all as to your capabilities there. I haven't spotted one spelling flaw, or grammatical error, though I am no extremist in that regard.
I don't think Rigel needed to be able to fantastically save Neville from his fall, to garner the same reactions from everyone. It would almost certainly be more dramatic, having her desperately pull out her wand, shout Wingardiam Leviosa and... have nothing happen. We, as the audience, could feel as crestfallen as our heroine, the Slytherins would still question her motives, and the Gryffindors wouldn't know what to think. I am sure Neville would appreciate the sentiment, and its not like his broken arm means much in a world of magical healing. Now, I feel, each time her lack of skill is mentioned, I wonder when the next crisis will hit, when will she suddenly become an incredible wizard out of nowhere.
I'm enjoying the paralleled triumvirate between Rigel, Draco, and Pansy. I can foresee a very awkward and painful scene later, where Draco finds himself falling for Rigel, finding out she is not male, and having to deal with the fact that he, Draco, is not interested in women; All at the same time as Pansy, who seems to like Rigel, also finding out and also not be interested in women. Of course, I seriously doubt you are aiming for such scenario ( which is very LGBTQ-oriented but would kind of heavy for your story so far and for a plot centered around a "Alanna in Potterverse" setup) But don't mind me, that is just my mind going to strange places. I am sure it will all work out safely in the end.
Good story so far, not sure I dig it too much, but well done and I am sure it caters to a large audience.
| Ergoemos chapter 4 . 12/22/2013
Still well done. I think the best thing to do would be to remove the "So-and-so's PoV" tags. They are almost completely unnecessary, and and they kind of pull you out of the story.
I think most of my questions were answered, and I kind of love that Rigel is pretty much terrible at spellcasting in general. I relish the moment when she needs to levitate some object across the room in a crisis, and it takes a few tries because she didn't actually practice. The idea that the main character isn't good in most of their classes is a nice addition, especially given that Canon-Harry Potter wasn't very good either, from my understanding. Very good parallel between this and the original stories.
| Ergoemos chapter 2 . 12/22/2013
So far, this is an interesting premise. I can definitely see your Alanna inspired elements (aside from the obvious "girl who switches places with a boy and heads to an institution of learning"). I'll be interested to see how things play out, because here, Hogwarts isn't a male-dominated school. Harriet will be interacting with both boys and girls, unlike Alanna. I kind of hope to see those awkward "oh, crap, I think this girl is hitting on me" sort of moments, given Harriet's, so far, unruffled nature.
That said, I think the word play between Pansy and Rigel was far more flirty than I would have expected. I mean, I can totally believe that eleven year olds might like each other, but I sort of expect a lower sophistication than courtesan extraordinaires, especially from Rigel, who might not have anticipated having to deal with focused attention from the opposite sex. (Though, I could buy it if Harriet, not certain what to do, waaaay over did it, and accidentally came off as a huge flirt, for the humorous extras of a normally deadpan girl struggling to maintain a mask of a silver-tongued lad.)
Over all, its fun and plan to continue for now. Thanks for the story so far!
| ALkjfdoisdj chapter 22 . 12/13/2013
I started reading this story 2 days ago and literally could not put it down. I'd go to bed at 9, read until my eyes couldn't keep open anymore at 2, fall asleep, wake up at 8, read all day, repeat. You have written an amazing story. I wish I had reviewed every chapter individually, there's just so much to say!
Your characters are amazing! They feel right...true. Rigel is such a wonderful character, it's impossible to not love her! The same can be said about every character (except Jordan). Gred and Forge are hilarious and just the way the Weasley twins should be. You nailed it! The way your characters interact is believable, in the sense that I feel as if it actually happened.
The major problem with your characters is Jordan. I didn't really believe his reason to hate Rigel. But you know what? I hadn't noticed this until I thought about it, because the way you wrote it made it believable. You have a way with words and it's incredible!
And Sirius! I just love him! Every thing he should be and more. I must say I have a weakness for Sirius-never-in-Azkaban, he makes for one of the best characters ever. But the way he interacts with Rigel, James, Lily, Archie and Remus is every bit as I'd imagine it.
The difference from canon is also smooth. Maybe a bit too smooth. I didn't realize that Neville's parents were okay until a bit late.
I adore your characters!
Hogwarts actually seems like a place of wonder. Many other stories fail to make me realize this. There are always awesome adventures in the castle, but very few make me feel like I could spend my life there and never run out of excitement. You managed to not only make Hogwarts look gorgeous, but also make it a place of dreams. The secret passages, the paintings, the elves...it really feels like the best magical castle in Britain.
Potions. Now I want to be a potions master. Your descriptions of potions (for example, when Rigel dictates his assignment on I don't remember which potion) made me want to study potions. I don't know if it's the way you describe Rigel's passion, or if it's the whole theory behind it, but potions class does look like the most fun class in all of Hogwarts.
The mindscape of Rigel is really cool. Do you have a Rigel tulpa? I read a bit about those and that's the impression I got, with the amount of details you put in everything. It really feels as if most of this is real!
All this to say that you have talent as a writer. A lot of it! You make few spelling or grammar mistakes. You have a way with words that I rarely see anymore. I can't wait to read more from you!
Hope China was fun! Write more for your avid readers. :D
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/11/2013
Love the story PLEASE UPDATE THE SEQUEL
| leylinjan chapter 7 . 11/4/2013
I imagined the letter Rigel sent to Archie about Flint read to me in a sarcastic-funny young girls' voice and I couldn't stop laughing. I was thinking something along the lines, 'oh boy, now she's got ya' in regards to Archie. Re-reading this for the xth time just makes me love this even more ! )
| leylinjan chapter 5 . 11/4/2013
I must admit I never really read your A/N s really thoroughly before. But this time I did and I really like what you said in chapter 2, that 'you don't need a scar on your head to start a revolution, or to be the focus of a political maelstrom'. That's not only true for fanfiction, but also for real life and reading this - and realizing this once more - made me really happy :)
| leylinjan chapter 3 . 11/4/2013
hmmm I'm just starting to re-read your stories for the 10th time, because they are by far my absolute favourites! The only thing that comes close is the Life Cycle-trilogy, but that also because it's so incredibly long! I hope nothing happened to you in China, and that access to a computer is really the problem... hope you are well and that you'll write more soon!