Reviews for The Pureblood Pretense
uyen.dinh.90 chapter 18 . 5/21
NOOOO! I was looking forward to Snape's reaction to the sweat inducer
Fanoffiction02 chapter 12 . 5/21
If Rigel thought Pansy was too much, I would have Loved to see Harri with her. The infamous fish head robes...I could soo totally see Sirius commissioning those monstrosities. What were they doing packed though. I hope Sirius put them in and not Archie.

And Hermione makes an entrance. I just thought of something. Rigel never sends her actual parents any letters. Isn't that a little odd? I mean she sends them to her Uncle Remus, so why not 'Aunt' Lily and 'Uncle' James? Does Archie as Harry send Sirius letters?

I think that description of her eyes is at least better than a pickled green toad. :)

Is Draco Seriously jealous of someone she's known her whole life and is considered a sibling...that's just...aghhhhh... He is very possessive of her from the start. We don't really see him treating Pansy that way! Grr. Although Rigel blushes at Draco's praise and not Pansy's...so I guess this is the building blocks of a future relationship...

I wish all that transfiguration theory would have showed up in the third book, but I guess that was needed for the story's development.

I think it's telling that Lee unsettled her and then to be lurking in the hallways...is that when the twins started to suspect? By the way I love the twins. Their interactions are my second favorite scenes of the story, the first being summer break scenes! They can be down right scary sometimes, and I'd really like to know how They know Binny. That should be very interesting!

Is there anything Else in her past that she's running from!? I mean other than has already been mentioned up to date...

Well those were some of my thoughts reading through...and I find all the theory fascinating too!
uyen.dinh.90 chapter 12 . 5/21
I like the way Fred and George is portrayed. They seem like the prankster they are...and they also have a serious side to them that I'm really enjoying.
uyen.dinh.90 chapter 11 . 5/21
I can't believe I'm halfway through this story already. I think this story has a ton of things that is working for it.

I love how you gave her the friendship needed and yet...these are the people that was dragged down in the original. I love that.
uyen.dinh.90 chapter 8 . 5/21
AHHHH! This story is making me giddy.
uyen.dinh.90 chapter 7 . 5/21
I loved this chapter. I found so many parts of it that amused me.
uyen.dinh.90 chapter 3 . 5/21
I wonder if Snape's legilimency will be acknowledged or taken into account.
uyen.dinh.90 chapter 1 . 5/21
I'm finding this story enjoyable. I hope it continues that way.
Fanoffiction02 chapter 11 . 5/21
On to the second week of school and beyond. Its suprising that all that could happen in just the first week, but ive had weeks like that myself. And next we have a fluttering butterfly, Blaise with a wolfish grin and detention with Filch. Then an attack in the dungeons And quiddich. Be still my heart. But really... good chapter.
Fanoffiction02 chapter 10 . 5/20
So Binny is one of my favorite characters in the series. And I hope to the extreme she does not take Dobbs place in sacrificing himself in the revolution to come. Actually I'd think it was pretty cool if she decides to leave Hogwarts and go with Harri.
The Room of Requirement gets mentioned. Yay!
Awww Pansy and Draco can be soo sweet.
And oh my goodness. What would have happened if she couldn't stop herself from sinking?! She would Die inside a stone quick sand step... aghhhhhh... and what was the spell she was almost hit with?
Fanoffiction02 chapter 9 . 5/20
Seriously disgruntled at the moment. The reviews that I posted for 6,7, and 8 have not appeared bit not sure what I did wrong but I refuse to try and combined them Again. So I did try to review every chapter like I was going to but...not sure what happened.
Wow Sirius sure made a splash that's for sure! Years later people are holding Rigel, his "son", to his faults and reputation.
I seriously hope that Archie never used the trip jinx in the same capacity. I dont see him being that cruel and sending someone down the stairs. And just what did Harri retaliate with?
Ron is more sharp then he is given credit for, that whole family is formidable, but if he thought someone had just fell down a flight of stairs he really should Not go yanking on said person.
New toy, huh? Hmm.
Your Claw is worse than cannons by far. Ralon was a nasty bully for sure but at least people Knew he was a piece of work and Alanna knew who her tormentor was. Your version is much more insidious.
I think that was the first mentioned of Lily by Harri. I'm not counting Archie's comment in the first chapter or the group gifting of potion knives.
Draco as a stray Labrador. Too funny...I don't think his pride would take it if that was his animagus form even if Rigel think it fits.
I love how you write something, like the essay on Nimue's Breath, that is later woven back into the story. You really could be quite successful if you made a career in writing. And if you ever do I would love to read anything you publish.
Fanoffiction02 chapter 8 . 5/20
Ok so seriously not sure what I did wrong but neither of my previous reviews are posting so I'll put them in this one...forgive the massive monster review but I couldn't bare taking anything out...
Oh I guess I should have put this in my first review as well...SPOILERS ahead! View my comments now and previous at your risk...there that should do it.
Ch.6 So I have to ask. What exactly were Harry and Archie taught growing up? And how much were they taught separately? I would think that Archie was taught some pureblood etiquette at the very least because Sirius followed some tradition by naming him for two stars, great choices by the way. So would Archie know the constellations and that was separate from Harry?
Ok the fact that childish excitement is foreign to her makes me sad...but she then smiles about Draco acting adult like. Almost as if she were the adult and he just play acting. And as she has been so isolated growing up was it her family describing her as creeping apathetic because that is just sad to so onto another topic...
So I can soo totally see Now what you had planned for Snape later meshing with how you describe him in his first appearance. Genius.
Sibilant. Slid. Dripping knowledge. To me Snape has always been described canon and fanon-wise with an incredible voice. It can be silky or bitingly venomous. Hypnotic. It sorta puts me in mind of a swaying cobra. So yeah...anyways...
Flint? Flint! Flint?! Even now, after seeing how wonderfully it works out later with the development of the story, I still am amazed and that someone knows Something, if not Everything, from the get go. Too bad it was !Flint! GRR and not someone more helpful. Oh well :-/) ...that scene also had the little teaser about the portrait of Slytherin's familiar. Brilliant.
Ch. 7 So the scene where the twins are introduced...I may have giggled...just a little. I also like that they Correctly mistakenly say "she" before getting closer to her and changing gender...unless that was a typo. I wish their brothers knew how protective they were of their family. Sigh.
Oh the marauders never registered right? Cause the twins call her puppy...although now that I think on it the Look is usually put as puppy eyes but you said a baby owl...is this a hint to later ambitions? I could see it...you could even make her a snowy white in reference to Hedwig if that character never shows up..or not. Just a thought.
So the letter to Archie. Perfect. Trying to decide which letter I like more, that one or the one from home?
Potions class. AMAZING. And a reference to Umbridge annoyingness and Hermione's tendency to ... over right... I guess I should stop here
Just have to say it. Lunch scene...snigger... (she really could be a player)
Ch.8 Lee Jorden makes his entrance as a cheerful boy. Charming. Reeaaalllly. (Dripping sarcasm and an eye roll for good measure).
So maybe I'm just projecting here but everyone says Draco equates Jon and I can definitely see that but as of right now he seems more like Hermione(that's so funny...doubly so in this story considering their status'...hehehe), he has to know Everything about Rigel and wants an accounting of where all he has been, and Pansy a parallel mash up to Gary and Ron, so far laid back back attitude. Not that I disliked Hermione or am saying Draco is bad but it just seemed that even though the story was About Harry they never gave any personal information but expected him to Give everything about himself. Also in comparing Pansy to Ron I hope that she doesn't show any of the jealousy or hint of betrayal that he showed in canon.
Wow if Rigel reminds Snape of his younger self, I'm assuming that was the memory he was reflecting on, and thinks of him as the son he should have had I would really hate to have seen how bitter he would be if she were herself. Whoa.
She really had no support did she? Or at least not enough and not from the beginning where it should have been...the gifted knives.
Her reaction is more than a little suspicious. Anger and confusion, indignation sure. Blinding panic and desperation? No. Not to mention the who me?! However that would be an interesting talent to hone. Especially if she could get past his formidable shields.
Fanoffiction02 chapter 7 . 5/20
So not sure what I did wrong...new to being a member to the site...but ch.6 did not post so I'll just leave it here with 7.
Oh I guess I should have put this in my first review as well...SPOILERS ahead! View my comments now and previous at your risk...there that should do it.
Ch.6 So I have to ask. What exactly were Harry and Archie taught growing up? And how much were they taught separately? I would think that Archie was taught some pureblood etiquette at the very least because Sirius followed some tradition by naming him for two stars, great choices by the way. So would Archie know the constellations and that was separate from Harry?
Ok the fact that childish excitement is foreign to her makes me sad...but she then smiles about Draco acting adult like. Almost as if she were the adult and he just play acting. And as she has been so isolated growing up was it her family describing her as creeping apathetic because that is just sad to so onto another topic...
So I can soo totally see Now what you had planned for Snape later meshing with how you describe him in his first appearance. Genius.
Sibilant. Slid. Dripping knowledge. To me Snape has always been described canon and fanon-wise with an incredible voice. It can be silky or bitingly venomous. Hypnotic. It sorta puts me in mind of a swaying cobra. So yeah...anyways...
Flint? Flint! Flint?! Even now, after seeing how wonderfully it works out later with the development of the story, I still am amazed and that someone knows Something, if not Everything, from the get go. Too bad it was !Flint! GRR and not someone more helpful. Oh well :-/) ...that scene also had the little teaser about the portrait of Slytherin's familiar. Brilliant.
Ch. 7 So the scene where the twins are introduced...I may have giggled...just a little. I also like that they Correctly mistakenly say "she" before getting closer to her and changing gender...unless that was a typo. I wish their brothers knew how protective they were of their family. Sigh.
Oh the marauders never registered right? Cause the twins call her puppy...although now that I think on it the Look is usually put as puppy eyes but you said a baby owl...is this a hint to later ambitions? I could see it...you could even make her a snowy white in reference to Hedwig if that character never shows up..or not. Just a thought.
So the letter to Archie. Perfect. Trying to decide which letter I like more, that one or the one from home?
Potions class. AMAZING. And a reference to Umbridge annoyingness and Hermione's tendency to ... over right... I guess I should stop here
Just have to say it. Lunch scene...snigger... (she really could be a player)
Fanoffiction02 chapter 6 . 5/19
So I have to ask. What exactly were Harry and Archie taught growing up? And how much were they taught separately? I would think that Archie was taught some pureblood etiquette at the very least because Sirius followed some tradition by naming him for two stars, great choices by the way. So would Archie know the constellations and that was separate from Harry?
Ok the fact that childish excitement is foreign to her makes me sad...but she then smiles about Draco acting adult like. Almost as if she were the adult and he just play acting. And as she has been so isolated growing up was it her family describing her as creeping apathetic because that is just sad to so onto another topic...
So I can soo totally see Now what you had planned for Snape later meshing with how you describe him in his first appearance. Genius.
Sibilant. Slid. Dripping knowledge. To me Snape has always been described canon and fanon-wise with an incredible voice. It can be silky or bitingly venomous. Hypnotic. It sorta puts me in mind of a swaying cobra. So yeah...anyways...
Flint? Flint! Flint?! Even now, after seeing how wonderfully it works out later with the development of the story, I still am amazed and that someone knows Something, if not Everything, from the get go. Too bad it was !Flint! and not someone more helpful. Oh well :-/) ...that also had my favorite little teaser about the portrait of Slytherin's familiar. Brilliant.
Fanoffiction02 chapter 5 . 5/19
If only they knew that the words spewing forth from her mouth were clues for the puzzle she is...well if they knew how to decipher her jumbled jellied ramblings that is.
I think it would be interesting later in the story to see her get hit with the same curse, after the other characters are more familiar with her that is. I wonder whether they would take advantage to ask her questions that she would not otherwise be forthcoming about. I can't decide who I would like the scene with the most though...Pansy and Draco, her other friends, Snape, or a certain kingly person...definitely Leo for me. I know he was the first to find out about Alanna soo...or even her family, to see the puzzled and clueless expressions made from her mumbo jumbo.
I also think that it is interesting that Blaise is the one that knew the spell. And does he know about how not only does the spell make a person addlebrained but also acts as an inhibitor by taking her filter out...a strange and less regulated truth spell...as long as you don't mind the randomness of everything else that comes from a person's mouth.
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