Reviews for The Pureblood Pretense
London Knight chapter 2 . 7/26/2022
Think you meant mass telekintic or 'banishing' spell , rather than 'mass hypnotic spell' used on the little boats ? Hypnotic by definition means involving a mind ... doubt even these magical boats would have one ...
LK Again chapter 1 . 7/26/2022
Britpicking : 'upper-classman' is completely alien term in UK ; use senior years , upper years or even 'older pupils' . If your going to write about about British people , at a British school , then at least TRY to use British terms ... If your not sure then ask for help ...
LK Again chapter 1 . 7/26/2022
Never 'restroom' in UK & bathrooms have to have baths - some bathrooms do not even have toilets in them . British vernacular is a toilet , 'the bog , the lavatory or in very old terms (pre 1960s) the water closet (the WC) .
It amazes Brits that most people from North America will go to extreme lengths to avoid saying toilet ... and those I mention are just the polite words for them ...
LK Again chapter 1 . 7/26/2022
Britpicking : 'rookie professors' ... No ... just no ... NEW Teachers/Professors or inexperienced ones , rookie isn't really a British term & especially not in that timeframe .

I know your trying to avoid cliché but your already falling for many debunked fanon tropes ... Okay I know this was first posted ten years ago , but even simple Google searches can verify canon facts . AUs should at least try to be based in some Wizarding World basis . It grates big time when things like Lordships get bandied about completely unnecessarily & Snape being a 'Potions Master' as opposed to 'master/professor of potions AT Hogwarts' . It take it in this AU he's better at potions than Slughorn then ? We'll see ...
LK Again chapter 1 . 7/26/2022
Britpicking : 'Christmas Holiday' not winter break ... Unlike USA we actually get proper holidays in UK ...
AvidFan chapter 1 . 7/25/2022
This is my third read through. This story has lost none of it's charm on re-reading. The entire series is a delight. I will be sharing this series will all of my friends, fans of the genre and excellent literature alike. I do hope you keep writing, not just this series but beyond. You have the makings of a great author and should you feel inclined, i'm sure people would love to share in your art.
London Knight chapter 1 . 7/25/2022
Merlin's ballbag ! British people people do not call there cousins 'cuz' ... expect in an extremely sarcastic way when putting on a obviously fake American accent ...

Came here hoping for a long read , but ... ... flaws ... within first few does not bowd well for this or it's sequels ...

YouTube a video : how British people talk to their family members ...
cloverskye chapter 9 . 7/9/2022
I'd suggest an easy fix for pj's. She takes a shower every night before bed, instead of in the morning. Then she can just take a change of clothes with her for her morning bathroom/teeth brush routine.
cloverskye chapter 2 . 7/8/2022
Interesting plot so far, and very well written grammatically, which is always a plus. I've got a feeling that Pansy being so observant is going to cause issues, as will rooming with boys when there are likely communal showers.

Can't wait to see how Snape's going to treat her. Wouldn't it make for some wonderful drama to start out being hated by your hero?
Indigo Sterling chapter 22 . 6/25/2022
Indigo here! The same Indigo from the last review, just popping in to say that I've gone ahead and gotten a real account here because of this story. Also, I'm sorry (but also not terribly sorry) for the length of my last review. Now that I've spent some time on the site, I see that's not typical. Oh well, you deserved all of the praise I gave you, so I'm not about to change anything now
Indigo Sterling chapter 21 . 6/23/2022
Hello! I know it has been ten years (wow, ten years! 2012 doesn't feel like it should be that long ago) since you wrote this and I've no idea if you still check up on it, but I just discovered it and I want you to know how very much I've enjoyed it, on the off chance that you do.

I hope it isn't too presumptuous, but I want to tell you just a tiny bit about myself so that you can see something of where the compliments come from. I love to read, I also love to write, and probably more than anything I love to analyze fiction. If something works or doesn't work for me, I like to know and think about why that is. Maybe it's a little bit prideful of me, but I think I've got a pretty good mind for that sort of thing. And trust me, I don't hold back with my critique. When something bothers me, I usually can't rest until I've pulled apart all of the little threads and shown them to at least SOMEONE else. All of this is just in the hope that my compliments will brighten your day a little bit more if you know something of how sincere and deeply considered they have been. (And forgive me for sounding so formal, but I just finished reading and I'm having a bit of fun with all of the 'pureblood' style talk that is still very much in mind. Not to mention that as someone who has grown up on books, I jump at any chance I get to express myself as fully as if I was a character myself)

So first of all, you write your characters with such warmth and humour that it makes them a joy to read. You introduce characters naturally and establish or hint at their personalities so well that I've grown attached to every side character, even ones which I was completely indifferent to in the original book. (Speaking of which, I should probably tell you I've never read the series about Alanna, but I've wanted to in the past and I think I will now) In general this is a compliment both to your characters, but also to your voice as a writer. You have a very warm, calm, but intent (maybe trustworthy is the word I'm looking for?) feeling to your narration that I personally loved and also wouldnt be surprised to find in a published novel.

The setting, somewhat pre-established though it is, you have made your own in an incredibly delightful way. Some of my favorite things in the hp series had to do with how exuberant the setting always was, despite serious plot stuff going on. Adding little details like Sirious decorating the house with tinsel and raising snakes isn't just fun (although it certainly is that) it gives a much more meaningful backdrop to all of the characer interactions between Harry and Archie and Sirious, and highlights just how important that relationship is. Not to mention that things like that help me to care about the stakes at which Harry is gambling.

Also in line with the setting, I've loved what you've done with explaining more theory behind potions, occlumency, and magic in general. I've always thought I'd like to read HP from Hermione's perspective because I actually want to know what's going on IN class, so I love seeing your take on it. You were able to explain it clearly enough that the problems that the magic posed could inform the solutions, but at the same time (at least to me) you retained a sense of wonder about it. I particularly enjoyed the descriptions of magical cores.

Last but not least- holy hannah, your plot! It was amazing! Call me hooked, and very glad that you've written some more. I love how you preserved many essences of the original conflict (Harry vs. Voldemort, Ron vs Malfoy, Dumbledore vs. the ministry, Harry vs. fame, even Snape vs. Quirrel) but came at each from such a different angle. I wasn't sure how you were going to wrap it all up as I was getting towards the end, but you managed to do it with just the right amount of cliff-hangering and nostalgia. All of this built on a strong foundation of interesting relationships between characters that you've invested your reader in and, well, that's hook line and sinker!

Well, that's all for now. No doubt I'll read some more of your work, and I hope you do see this eventually. You've earned a lot of respect and admiration from me, and (if a little fancifully) my Internet friendship and well wishes. If you have even half of the warmth and enthusiasm you show in your update comments and with your characters, I think you must be a pretty wonderful person, and I hope it's okay that I've shared my thoughts on the subject! :)

Best regards,
- Indigo
Ex-ex-ex-mafia chapter 1 . 6/12/2022
I love how family like this group is here, I have one a lot like it (my parent's friend is my aunt, her kid is my cousin) and people often tell me that's weird, but I always thought it was really nice. I'm nearly closer with them than my parent's real brother and his kids. I'm glad to see these kinds of friendships and families that are so important to each other just because they all chose to be :)
salemsabett chapter 20 . 5/21/2022
Your description of the sickness reminds me of the plaques associated with Alzheimer's disease, which is even more horrifying to imagine in a bunch of little kids.
AudiArcher chapter 14 . 5/19/2022
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AudiArcher chapter 15 . 5/19/2022
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