|Reviews for Captured in her Eyes|
| my 2 guys chapter 1 . 6/11
that was good keep the chapters coming
| Kairan1979 chapter 11 . 10/19/2014
I always liked the stories when Naruto is hiding his true strength.
| Mess With Me I Mess With You chapter 1 . 7/28/2014
Uh... revise and edit a little... good plot though...
| Guest chapter 9 . 2/8/2014
Not bad. I think you did the fight scene quite nicely and kept it fairly realistic. Good job.
| AnonOne chapter 11 . 2/9/2014
Okay story. I think things went too smoothly for Naruto and company. The whole murder mystery was well thought out except when Kabuto came into the story. We all know who he is, so it wasn't that hard to predict Kabuto. That detail sort of lost the unforeseeable end of the mystery.
I think the bashing was overdone. I'm honestly not a bashing-fic lover, for many reasons. I get it that a character screws up or makes a bad choice or just downright antagonizes the character, but it should be reasonable and not incorrigible. Sasuke and Sakura are both guilty of the above, but they're kids, pre-adolescents. They've never been out of the village, they don't know the cruelties of the world, they don't understand what it means to be a ninja because they don't have experience as ninja.
Sakura is a fangirl because she admires Sasuke. In a way, similar to Hinata, though differing in methods. She sees him as the best and is a normal crush. People are naturally attracted to those who are generally seen as "perfect" or "talented". Sakura is no different. Hinata is shown as a stronger character because she likes Naruto for who he is, unlike Sakura. However, Sakura indeed shifts towards this later on, showing her as a fairly sensible character. I just think that she needed to be taught, not just slapped across her face and be told to wake up, because if you want her to wake up, you need to tell her why.
Sasuke is the same. Losing your whole family will mess you up, but why wasn't there people to actually help him and not just spoil him? Why did nobody try to even change him? Why was he allowed to become a arrogant asshole? Why? Everyone knew what was wrong with him, but did absolutely nothing but show him up and wreck even more of his damaged character. Naruto complained constantly about this. It was even said that he could change people. Why did he not try change Sasuke instead? Sasuke ends up sealed and losing his capability to become a ninja because Mizuki gave him the same assignment he gave to canon Naruto, but canon Naruto became genin. Sasuke got the exact opposite. I don't deny that I believe Sasuke to be a powerful ninja in the future. Konoha lost a potentially valuable asset (once corrected) in the end and never realized how much they are at fault as Sasuke is.
This leads me to Naruto. Yes, he has experienced much and is supposedly wiser and smarter than the others. In truth, I find it ironic that the entire thing has simply reversed the roles of Naruto and Sasuke. Though Naruto is supposedly is the "good prince" and Sasuke the "bad prince". We can look at Sasuke being plain awful and "rightfully" overthrown by our good ol' hero. But I see it as merely a change of fortune. I can't find much of a difference between these two boys. They both share the usual prodigious traits except Sasuke takes it for granted to the extreme. It just isn't the normal Naruto, but a "Naruto-Sasuke" mix right here. Naruto holds grudges (like Sasuke), ignores his fangirls (canon Sasuke), is a genius (canon Sasuke is indeed a genius. He was pretty advanced for a genin, you know), and smart (canon Sasuke is not dumb at all). Naruto is now royalty, but why is his royalty worth more? Why should it be worth more? Uchiha and Senju are both equals in founding the village. Sure, the Uchiha had that coup, but are these two not considered two sides of the same coin? The Uchiha are all alienated for their ways, canonically. Following the path of darkness has many downfalls, but only the Third actually tried to end it peacefully. Only the Third.
In the end, Naruto gets all the favoritism and nothing has fundamentally changed. I don't feel that Naruto was the one who deserved it. It just sounds so hypocritical. Neither of them should have this one-sided treatment.
I find these flaws in those characters to be really harmful to the overall quality of your fic.
| AnonOne chapter 8 . 2/8/2014
Immunity shots? Really?! Immunity shots are not detrimental to one's health. Why would immunity shots impede his ability to spar? It's only a needle and maybe a reaction from the antigene. That's not really a good excuse.
| AnonOne chapter 5 . 2/8/2014
Getting quite technical on the entire information flood. Alright, but you let it all out at once, which is kind of draining to read.
Naruto's reaction to Shikamaru and Shino's knowledge and suspicions about the Kyuubi was too sudden. From cool, calm and professional right to everything crashing down in a couple of paragraphs (not including dialogue) is quite startling. It's too pragmatic to actually understand the full emotional impact.
| Endgames chapter 5 . 12/9/2013
Urgh, it's just a huge angst-fest. Naruto really needs to move past complaining about "the Uchiha". There's a limit to how much you can reiterate the same points before it becomes boring. I hope we get to some good parts soon.
| Endgames chapter 3 . 12/8/2013
"grew some things himself, like salad"
Man, I'd love to grow some salad too. Already shredded, washed, diced, and in the bowl.
| WindSpriteLuxara chapter 1 . 11/12/2013
Oh, I really liked your story!
And I am SO glad I know the movie, my nerves would've been shot otherwise in trying to find out who the culprick (pun intended) was.
I like NaruHina-storys, even if I can't find them too often ('cause the good storys are above 100k ARE and they rarely have this pairing).
Although I am a little sad this story ended with the 11 chapters, I got to (and WILL get to) snicker at the foolish civilians some more in Dark Phoenix. And this all I could ask for! *grins*
| MyLittleSister chapter 11 . 9/30/2013
Good job. I loved it
| Hiten Mitsurugi Battosai chapter 1 . 7/4/2013
I gotta say not bad. Basing it off of one of the Detective Conan Movies too. I gotta say thats a nice touch. I'm a junkie for that series i read the manga chapters as soon as they come out.
| winja chapter 11 . 6/3/2013
talk about amazing! i loved this fic btw can i send you one of my naruto ideas cus you exactly share my opinion of sasuke and sakura
| Freyr chapter 10 . 4/30/2013
Cool Story. Well written and I would love to read more Narutostorys from you. (already read the other ones, which were also very much to my liking.)
| twilightromance4ever chapter 11 . 4/13/2013
i really love this! well done!