|Reviews for A SCA Girl in Middle Earth|
| Corwyn chapter 29 . 6/6
I am greatly enjoying this story so far, and look forward to the next installment. Thanks for sharing it with us.
| Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 29 . 2/8
Hmmm... I'm left even more with the impression that introducing Tauriel into the LotR plot was a questionable idea - we've already got too many atypical female protagonists running round at this point, and there really isn't anything much for her to do. It's hard enough trying to find roles for all the existing OCs...
An unusually high number of typos in this chapter, for some reason.
follow the Kings banner
ruin and the worlds ending - missing apostrophes
Theoden rides across the front of the men - present tense?
reigns already wrapped around the saddlehorn - reins
Ah, so Mairi's strategy for cavalry fighting (not something with which one imagines she can previously have had any experience whatsoever!) is to use her horse as a battering ram with the others in the charge (the Prince Rupert tactic) and then to stay at a distance from the melee and pick off the leaders with her bow. A lot more credible than having her suddenly turn into a full-fledged Rohirrim warrior :-)
Yes, it makes sense that the Rangers would have a lot more experience in guerilla fighting from cover than soldiers used to battlefield manoeuvres...
Your Mmakil have all lost their 'u' altogether; problems with transferring accented letters to FFnet, I suspect :-(
At least Mairi has *heard* of elephant-fighting in theory, which is more than anyone else has. I like the image of Eowyn deputising the steering to Merry so that she can fight two-handed; they may as well get some use out of having an extra rider!
And there's a whole cluster of erroneous "it's", for some reason:
without a chain between it's tusks
aiming her bow at it's open mouth
reared up on it's hind legs
leaving it's riders behind
both king ans horse - and
come between the Nazgl and his prey - Nazgul (probably another victim of accents)
"Eowyn could see Mairi running toward her at a sprint" - when did Mairi lose her horse? Or is this a deliberate dismount because horses won't go near the Witch-king?
"Eowyn felt much better about her odds of success against supernatural strength and immortality if she had back-up" - I can't help feeling that knowing that she's going to have help rather diminishes Eowyn's achievement :-(
"trying to ignore the pain in her shield-arm" - what happened to Eowyn's shield-arm? Was it injured when her horse fell?
"she had been hit with the flat of the blade" - very lucky, from Mairi's point of view!
Having watched all his mortal enemies for centuries die when they hit him, I suspect it has never even occured to the Witch-king that not one of them so far has been female... although if he's faced with one opponent (Mairi) who is obviously female, I imagine it's a big distraction from the possibility that the male-seeming one might just possibly be a woman too.
Are Mairi's multiple knives all enchanted blades, or are they just disintegrating as per usual if/when they hit? I don't remember where she got them from...
Elf, Dwarve and Men - Dwarf
Theres plenty for the both of us - missing apostrophe
may be best Dwarf win - may the
The Dead go through the streets of Minas Tirith to the battle? That must have terrified everyone on both sides ("the screaming intensified for a moment")!
"as those who were still among the living" - but I thought the living members of Aragorn's force hadn't had a chance to manage any fighting before the Dead had cleared the opposition?
An interesting 'civilised' view on the Elf-Dwarf headcount competition from Rowan and Sam... of course it doesn't go down too well outside the context of the heroic sagas...
Im going to save you - missing apostrophe
I go to my fathers, in whose mighty company; I shall not now feel ashamed - spurious extra semicolon
It's an ingenious idea that they really ought to hang onto the ghost army in order to be able to steamroller the rest of Sauron's forces in the same way, but Boromir is right: breaking an oath to powerful undead spirits is a Very Bad Idea :-p
And it never occurred to me to wonder what on earth they did with the bodies of all those elephants.
"Eowyn stabbed him in the face after he patronised her!" - well, I certainly haven't seen it summarised that way before :-D
Did you recieve a head injury - receive
It did feel like a bit of a choppy chapter overall, which I imagine is partly the consequence of trying to cover multiple parties of characters in parallel (Tolkien, of course, ended up telling the events more or less out of sequence as completely separate accounts!) and partly the result of a difficult genesis :-(
| Spriggan chapter 29 . 2/6
Highly amusing story. I appreciate your character development. I actually like Suzi-mari as a person now. She's good for more than just comic relief. A thing about the book of Job you mentioned. I know his kids were killed, but his wife's fate is not mentioned. Her statement to "curse god and die" doesn't inspire much hope for her though. I think she probably abandoned him.
| bhut chapter 29 . 2/2
Well, thank you for the new chapter. The story is great and deserves to be updated.
| snowleopard314 chapter 21 . 12/5/2016
You know, up until this point I was perfectly alright with them going back to their home dimension. But now I have changed my mind, and it isn't fair. Your writing is really wonderful. I like how you portray the charactors and make them grow as well as how you have logically changed the plot to make up for changes that you had the oc's make. Now I will be interested in seeing how you handle the family stuff if Mairi stays with Boromir when all is said and done as I am now hoping that she does stay with him. Thank you for writing this and I hope you keep up the good work!
| Guest chapter 28 . 7/21/2016
The Marysue and Sam not The hobbit are getting better tô a level were they are funny in a irritating younger Brother way
| Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 28 . 7/17/2016
Yes, I thought they were going to have trouble keeping Denethor locked away...
It's hard for me to imagine the iron-willed Steward cracking up and ordering the defences of Gondor to be abandoned at the first sign of assault when both his sons are alive and well in this scenario, though!
I like Suzi-Maria's description of the Witch-King raising his sword resembling "Gandalf when he was about to blow something up" ;-p
No shipful of hardened fighters sailing up the river is going to be stopped by a handful of challengers standing on the *bank* and threatening to board them :-P
"not only took off he tip of the bosun's ear" - "the tip"
"you and whose army" is of course the *perfect* feed line in this situation...!
"no way was she going out there to usurp Eowyn's role"/"No offence to you, my Ladies, but I am suddenly regretting telling my sister that she had no place in war" - putting all these extra female warriors into the plot does rather threaten to overshadow Eowyn's unique selling point :-p
And Tauriel fits the 'not a man' trope on multiple counts...
"turned to his Marshels" -"Marshals"
"un-breached by enemy forces since it's installment" - wrong sort of "its"
"the troll's build seemed to limit them" - I suspect from the context that it probably ought to be "the trolls' build", as well.
"If I were a knight of Rohan capable of great deedsbut Im not. Im a Hobbit. And I know I cant save Middle Earth" - all the punctuation marks seem to have been lost from this passage in upload :-(
| SortingHat chapter 2 . 4/30/2016
You don't even knjow what fanatics are until you learn aobut Agenda 21 and the Fabien Society that has slowly corrupted America since the middle 1800s by hijacking movements and centralizing our money with fiat money to make our dollar worthless.
There is strong belief and evidence that we likely have used up our last gold during thee Vietnam war which they stopped auditing yearly where they used to before. Whistle blowers claim that the vaults are empty and we have been borrowing since then.
China props us up because they depend on us stupid Americans for buying their junk since their own people are too poor to buy it unless they are part of the Communist Party doing things their way then get special treatment till they are no longer useful.
See the man who held up an entire army of tanks from the 1980s and since then China has allowed limited capitalism where you can own a business but the government can still take it away and you to prison if you cross the line and they will kill you...secretly of course but kill you just the same.
| SortingHat chapter 1 . 4/30/2016
I stopped reading as soon as you stereotyped Christians. It's a sin to stereotype any ethnic person but it's encouraged to stereotype and persecute Christians who dare stand up to their freedoms to speak the truth slowly taken away.
Typical Liberal shill you are or your completely brainwashed as the government *yes* person who not only think like you do but are not happy unless the whole world does.
| Guest chapter 27 . 3/31/2016
All i can say is please dont stop!
| Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 27 . 1/20/2016
"grey eyes scanning the bare craigs" - is 'craigs' a typo here, or just an alternate spelling?
"They approach a door" - either a tense slippage or a typo...
It's an interesting (and presumably significant development) that the horses do *not* consent to go through the mountain with them in this version, given that Aragorn is so insistent in canon that riding will be essential on the far side...
"the two men who didn't have a sword of ghostly command" - Anduril? Is it? And how do they actually *know*? Aragorn has been remarkably cagey about his intentions so far: he just walks out without telling anybody (save Theoden?) why, let alone that he thinks he has a sword with power over ghosts...
Presumably they have spent the journey to the Dimholt engaging in at least cursory explanation of what is going on!
"Isn't there a biblical passage about a situation like this?" - yes, I was wondering how highly-religious Sam (as opposed to Hobbit Sam!) would feel about all this ghost and haunting stuff: the Devil's work, surely :-p
"The men and beast must reach the end" - beast in the singular is a typo, I think.
N.B. from a strictly grammatical point of view: you seem to have suddenly started joining your dialogue to the preceding sentences with commas even where what precedes it isn't an appropriate verb, e.g. "Merry's face took on a stubborn cast, 'All my friends have gone to battle'" or "Aragorn spoke, 'Do not look down'". I'm not sure why, after 27 chapters and a large number of other stories, all of which seem to have standard dialogue punctuation :-(
"the devestated Merry" - typo
"Eowyn would bring the Hobbit with her when she came" - and there's an irony, of course! "if they were somehow victorious" shows us pretty clearly how highly Theoden rates their chances :-(
Ah, of course in this new storyline Eowyn is *not* the only female rider in the army, so reasons are needed as to why Merry couldn't have equally well hitched a lift with one of the others :-)
The ghost-passages are an entertaining mixture of the original mystery/horror plus snide remarks :-p
Of *course* they all look down as soon as Aragorn puts the idea into their minds...
"Legolas's voice was calm, but it carried a not" - typo
"Rowan wondered it that" - typo
It's a good question as to why the King of the Dead appears to have carried on decaying after becoming a ghost, if not because he was already dead and buried by the time the curse hit (which does seem unlikely!)
This little confrontation is very different from what I remember of the original; I'm not sure how much is invention and how much is movie-based, though :-)
We've got an entire *city* in the cavern underground and much more uncertainty about whether the Dead are going to co-operate or not. In fact, it looks as if this time round Aragorn fails to convince them altogether, although I don't think we can blame that on Suzi-Maria for once: it isn't the presence of the interlopers from our world that is responsible.
"(or what little they could see of it, hardened" - missing closing bracket
"wishing that he had more to go on than just Anduil" - typo
"to fulfill your oath" - there's only one L in 'fulfil'
"Aragorn surveys the dead soldiers" - tense
"as his army begans to fade" - typo
"on the other side of side of the cavern" ?
"No man wants to be embarassed" - two Rs in embarrassed
To be honest I've forgotten who Mairi's 'Godbrothers' are; are they her SCA guild? It took me a while to work this sentence out, but eventually it dawned on me that "even if it is only tarnishing his memory" implies "even if he is already dead by that point" :-)
(I wonder if a slight rephrasing of conditional tenses - maybe "even if it would be only a tarnishing of his memory"? - would make this clearer?)
"Slowly, Aragorn fell to his knees in despair" - so this is the significance of the absence of horses, I take it...
The Oathbreakers certainly don't seem to be very trustworthy/reliable! (And how are they going to reach the river/city in time now, I wonder?)
| Leisey chapter 2 . 1/19/2016
As an Aussie, Lord of the Rings lover and an epileptic, I just have to say that I am so completely in love with this story and it's only the second chapter! I have never read a fanfic where people with epilepsy are depicted, and I was incredibly - but pleasantly - surprised when it was mentioned. So I just had to say thank you so much for writing a fic where epileptics are represented!
| Sara Pettersson chapter 27 . 12/18/2015
Blackmail, classical whatever it comes to a girl someone likes!
| Kin Pandun chapter 27 . 12/17/2015
Love it love it love it! Mostly setup, but still great. I can hardly wait to read more of it.
Thanks for writing,
| Gwen chapter 8 . 10/8/2015
The main issue I have with this story at the moment, and I don't know if you've resolved it in later chapters or explained it away, is that you keep switching between Mairi and Natasha. I'm pretty sure Mairi is your main OC's name, and so you should just stick with that, even if Natasha is her first name and Mairi is her middle name (or vice versa). It can be very confusing when one character's name is constantly switched with another. I had no idea who Natasha was at first. It's only in this chapter that my suspicions were confirmed. Just be more careful when writing/editing please. :)