|Reviews for Force of Will|
| Ensimismada chapter 1 . 6/28/2012
I have tried to read this fic on at least three separate occasions. I never seem to get through all the posted chapters.
This bothers me because your writing is pretty strong. You start right away with tense, meaningful action. You introduce characters, both familiar and new, smoothly so that the reader understands their relationships and abilities but isn't bored with paragraph after paragraph of descriptions. There's conflict on several levels, big and small scale. The dialogue is realistic and the fight scenes are interesting.
I think what bothers me is the relationship the new characters have to Cole and Kuo. It's too easy, too immediate, and too special. If there really is an army, I can't image the new guy getting so much attention from the two generals. Certainly not getting close enough to be privy to closely-guarded emotions, thoughts, or plans. So while I like Cole's internal conflict and I think the level of the story among the new conduits has potential, I'm really struggling with bringing the two together through these new characters.
Just my two cents - please consider it simply my opinion. I encourage you to continue writing and posting.
| Bunsididly the Pant chapter 5 . 5/31/2012
This is one of the first inFamous fanfics that I'm starting to read, and oh my god you really hit the sweet spot on what I'm looking for. You not only handle your characters so carefully and intricately, you weave a life into them that really helps me relate to them. Your method of switching POVs not only helps SO much with the story, but really gets me into reading it. I tend to like voicing fanfic characters for stories I read, and with the way you've written Force of Will so far, I am absolutely amazed at the detail that you've put into their speech and personality. Not only that, but the plot so far is utterly fantastic, exciting, and intriguing! I am absolutely excited to read more, so I eagerly anticipate the next chapter!
PS: Kira is right with the Holocaust metaphor...and I nearly died laughing when I realized just how true it is. :)
| DatScizor chapter 3 . 12/30/2011
I think you are doing a phenomenal job with this story, not only managing to tell Cole's personality in his quest as well as painting an emotional picture in the story with the way you portray peoples reactions to the events and giving us a face to relate to in the form of Kovi. I think one of the most important parts of the post-story is seeing how the people will react to them being conduits, how rapidly their lives are changing before them, and how they bond with fellow conduits who are total strangers. I would love to eventually see a relationship between Kovi and Sedona. But don't rush it, try to make it flow as naturally and as gradually as possible, although with your writing capabilities I doubt that will be too difficult ;). Your story is one of two I know of that is telling the post-story of inFamous 2, although you are doing a much better job of "Showing" rather than "Telling". What I mean is that you show the reader through the characters observations and details rather than blatantly stating what's going on or what a character is feeling.
I also think there's room to expand on Cole and Kuo's relationship but that's up to you.
All in all this is an amazing story and I look forward to more chapters from you. Cheers!
| Trojan Prince chapter 2 . 12/22/2011
Pretty good so far, i like it.