|Reviews for New Places, Old Haunts|
| pi-on-a-skateboard chapter 10 . 4/19/2012
The funeral was written beautifully. The whole thing, but especially the funeral.
You tie up your loose ends quite well. There's just one thing I'm missing... What happened to sabotaging the Cheerios?
Thanks for posting this. I enjoyed reading it.
| pi-on-a-skateboard chapter 6 . 4/18/2012
This is the strangest reason to review but... pretty pretty please wear a helmet whenever you get on a bike. I don't care how quiet your streets are - I've seen so many accidents, and a helmet can make the difference between life and death, between getting up and walking away and between permanent brain injury.
... Lecturing over :P
Still enjoying this. You build suspense quite well. Nearly up to finding out what happened :-)
| pi-on-a-skateboard chapter 1 . 4/17/2012
This is actually really well-written. I love the style of it - how you narrate everything but it's not oversaturated with detail either. Its definitely interesting and I'm looking forward to reading more :-)
| Magic Of Every Kind chapter 10 . 3/23/2012
Right, I have finally gotten around to reviewing this tale of yours, my most sincere apologies for the wait.
Here we go...
‘New Places, Old Haunts’ – a review by Magic Of Every Kind
Well, where to start...how about the beginning? That seems a good place.
You introduce Charlotte in a good way, giving the audience a clear view of her, where she’s coming from and the kind of person she is. She’s easy to like and fits in well to Glee’s type of person. I’ve already told you my points on her being a Mary Sue, and though Charlotte is a bit ‘Mary Sue’-ish, it’s not completely OTT.
Your first few chapters are good, gently easing the audience into Charlotte’s way of life and personality. The end of chapter 3 is where thinks pick up, and you really nab the audience’s interest with that ending. Chapter 4, when we find out who it is and all...you’ve got us hooked. There’s such obvious dislike between Rory and Charlotte...it gets us thinking ‘why?’
If I’m honest, I don’t like that Charlotte was in the Cheerios, I think it was a bit pointless and didn’t really go anywhere and made her even more of a Mary Sue (sorry). Also, getting her to sing off with Sebastian is a great idea, but I didn’t think it worked with the whole Warbler Group...I think it would have worked better with just the two of them (in my opinion). But your end bit with the Warblers not following Sebastian is great, and I like the way you did that.
The way you develop Charlotte’s relationships with everyone is good, and I like that you don’t go into too much depth but rather keep the audience informed enough not to be ignorant. The end of chapter 7 is a bit like...what? Rory’s a murderer? Now we’re all like...‘how’?
When Rory stabs Charlotte...well, you know how I reacted. Rory’s mentally insane? Sounds legit for his actions though I know I was left a bit...‘wth?’
Charlotte’s death is beautiful. You pull it off really well and it’s shocking but incredibly moving as well and you’re last line is wonderfully tragic.
Your last chapter is long, but as sweet as sugar and as salty as, well, salt (and I mean salt in a good way as it’s bittersweet).
I love how you incorporated AVPM into this, and including them in your last chapter was very sweet and very...you. Funnily enough, I think it worked! Odd that you technically had two versions of the same person in your tale, but I think you managed it well.
Your spelling and grammar/punctuation is great, no complaints about that.
This has been a bit of a rambling review, but I’ll put a short summary here.
All in all, I loved it and I’m only sorry it didn’t go on longer.
Well done :)
| msmtnest chapter 9 . 2/19/2012
What I think is that you must update soon! I am astounded by Rory's act and need to know what made him do it!
| Magic Of Every Kind chapter 9 . 2/19/2012
What. Have. You. DONE?
PenMagic, you better have a DAMN GOOD EXPLANATION FOR THESE ACTIONS.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
Ok, I take it back, your Rory is darker than mine by about a gazillion light years.
YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING OR I WILL COME AFTER YOU WITH A KNIFE AND A READERS VENDETTA.
Other than my rage at your completely out of the blue actions, this is a truly STUNNING chapter, simply beautiful. Very moving ending, I tip my hat to your writers finesse.
One more thing...WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Only the bravest writers do what you've done...how could you? Man, I could probably rage for a whole lot longer...
What on EARTH made Rory so evil? He's just a cute Irish kid! I need answers and I need answers NOW.
Update soon...or else :)
| Magic Of Every Kind chapter 8 . 2/19/2012
I swear, if this isn't updated soon I will actually explode xS
| Magic Of Every Kind chapter 7 . 2/3/2012
| Magic Of Every Kind chapter 5 . 1/9/2012
Hmmm...I'm enjoying it, don't get me wrong, but maybe you're moving a bit too fast...? Just a thought. Loving it, though. More Rory/Charlotte background story, please...! Update soon or else :P
| Gryffindors.beat.Slytherin.731 chapter 5 . 1/8/2012
Amazing story :) And I love that you're British! I love everything British haha. Well, to help you in the American department: high schools usually don't go on a day schedule, such as every Monday is a certain schedule. At least, we don't in NJ..xD that's usually what college is like. Oh, and we usually don't say reckon unless you're southern. Also, us Americans tend to be loud and rambunctious(sp?), which I hate xD Storywise, I really want to know more about Rory and Charlotte's history! I was terrified when sweet Rory turned into this vicious(sp?) character. But hey, it's your story. I think that it's really good! Please continue!
| Magic Of Every Kind chapter 4 . 12/24/2011
It's Rory? Oh, you changed the description...makes sense now :P PLEASE update soon, really wanna know why they have bad history. By the way, might want to read it out loud to yourself, this is an awesome scene but some of the dialogue seems too...scripted (if ya get my meaning). Just a suggestion :) More please!
| Magic Of Every Kind chapter 3 . 12/23/2011
OMG. WHAT? You HAVE to update soon...! I think I know who it is but I'm not sure...update...now...!
| Magic Of Every Kind chapter 2 . 12/13/2011
This is just a suggestion but before I post a chapter, I read it to myself out loud. It's the best way for spotting spelling mistakes as well as other hiccups. Just a suggestion but you're doing great :D
| WritersWayOfLife chapter 2 . 12/11/2011
I like the idea of Rory having a love interest but there are a few things that made it hard for me to understand.
1) Can you make the paragraphs a bit shorter, it's just my eyesight makes it harder for me to read (stupid dyslexia)
2) Is this Charlotte girl going to fall in love with Rory or Sam
3) Is Rory a kid from her summer camp? It could explain why she hates him like you said in the prologue.
Love where it's going if she falls for Rory :)
| RedRoseAngel17 chapter 1 . 12/8/2011
Yay! Starkid! I love it when people make Starkid references in glee fanfictions :) So far, there's nothing wrong with the way you have the Ameican school system set up, so yay! Now, because I have a hard time reading stories that are just floating in time, can I just go ahead and assume that this starts after Hold On To Sixteen? Also, you're a brilliant writer. Very nicely detailed! I'm excited to see chapter 2!