|Reviews for Transcendence: Digital Curse|
| Ultimateblack chapter 10 . 10/25/2014
I wonder... Since humans (well, most of them) are suckers for romance, could it be possible that the pairings you chose affect your story's popularity? But by all means, don't change them just to suit the majority. It's your story and yours only.
| Ultimateblack chapter 7 . 10/24/2014
If only the dub followed the original storyline that diaboromon was a natural enemy instead of being created... Then alphamon can't blame humans :)
| Eonflare chapter 5 . 9/16/2014
Hmm, not too much here was changed. Oh well, it did feel nice to read through it again.
| guest chapter 34 . 8/17/2014
Sorry what I meant to say was I imagine agumon and biyomon get married and has two kids a male yokomon and a female koromon
| guest chapter 34 . 8/17/2014
I imagine agumon an
| Crazyeight chapter 34 . 8/11/2014
This is going to be a bit of a summary of my thoughts on the story as it stands, so bear with me. It’s just much faster this way.
My original posts on this story still stand for the most part. The Chronodata—the cause of the story—remains ill-defined as to why it’s considered bad, because the only thing we’ve seen about it since its appearance is that it has very few drawbacks and can be controlled through training. You said early on that the digimon infected with it would seek to absorb more and more data, but Agumon displays none of this behavior, making it very difficult to emote with him. Additionally it takes away the digimon/human partnership which has always been at the core of the series, enabling Agumon to digivolve on his own. The digidestined already had a hard enough time playing a role in the story, and this made Tai have even more difficulty. His character almost has no point except to feel bad for Agumon, which gets old after a while, especially since his character is one of agency, not one of sitting on the sidelines indulging in his emotions to such an extent. Remember, this is the guy who went after Shellmon with a pipe and charged at a souped-up Etemon alongside Greymon despite the vast power difference. Tai is a doer first and foremost, so his character might not have been very well received in this story.
In fact, that’s part of the problem. This story is all about Agumon (with AbyssGreymon on the side, so he counts a bit as another Agumon as well) and how horrible his fate sucks now, even though we don’t see much evidence of it. We don’t get to see much with the other characters except in terms of how they relate to Agumon and his problem, which isn’t particularly fair (especially since in the fight scenes pretty much everyone but Agumon gets spanked despite the abundance of Megas this time around, ensuring that Agumon and only Agumon really gets to play a significant role). The way the story is structured is to force the reader to feel bad for Agumon, but it doesn’t do so in a way that feels particularly natural, which can lead some readers feeling a bit empty if not annoyed. Again, with the Chronodata we don’t see how it’s ‘bad’. We hear how it’s bad, but what we’re shown is a different story, so it gives the impression that we’re being worked up for nothing. Agumon’s new Mega form is said to be bad if he stays in it for too long, but for the length that he’s in it he’s a badass! That doesn’t sound so bad and more ‘cursed with awesome’. We’re supposed to feel sorry for Agumon about this?
I can’t comment much on the digimon romance stuff. I will applaud you for exploring it, but I should point out that in general digimon romance has a hard time on this site if they’re not Renamon. It’s hard for people to relate to reptiles and birds, even if they are anthropomorphic, and I think a lot of this has to do with how their body is built. Humans feel more empathy for animals that closely resemble us.
The story itself is very, very wordy, often more so than is necessary with emotions being overplayed (sometimes at inappropriate times like when Sora stopped Biyomon to pick out a flower Agumon gave her—in the middle of a fight), especially during the fight scenes with AbyssGreymon. After a certain point I started to feel that there were only so many ways their dialogue could be repeated (and it felt like a lot of repetition was going on when it came to AbyssGreymon), and I often got the feeling that some of the words and feelings they used were far larger than what we’ve seen from the digimon. When comparing the scene when Agumon and BlackWarGreymon first met with what we see now, it’s like we’re looking at two totally different digimon, and I don’t mean because one of them has Chronodata stuck in him and has had to deal with that. It’s like he got a grammatical boost as well. It was very hard to view this Agumon as ‘Agumon’.
On the more recent side of things…
New crests are…kind of hard to take in for readers. I know in 02 we had the Crest of Kindness and in Adventure we had the Crest of Light, but the crests were originally envisioned as being based on the seven virtues. Their existence had more to do with themes and allegories in the whole good-vs-evil battle, which drew largely from Christianity and had important roles to play in the story that fit those themes. ‘Life’ is a very ambiguous word (and probably overused by fanfic writers when seeking a new crest which would drag the story down), and while we, the reader, might be tempted to view it in terms of the miracle of life, there’s more to the crest than meets the eye. What is life? What role does it play here? What are its themes?
Why does Agumon need someone to tell him how to fight in aerial combat? WarGreymon flew and had ranged attacks. The only difference here is that he has wings now. In act, most digimon don't really seem to need wings. Even the winged digimon don't make much use of them.
And that's about it for now. I'm off to the sequel.
| Permanently Inactive chapter 34 . 8/10/2014
This story was awesome and while I wish the actual Tamers had made an appearance rather than just Guilmon and Renamon, I hold out hope that they'll show up in the future. I'm sorry about not reviewing much beyond what I've said but this story was excellent.
| Eonflare chapter 4 . 8/9/2014
Heh, you made them getting out of there seem more plausible, and now they can't go back to lab to look for evidence of what happened, makes much more sense. I have a feeling I know who let Agumon out, but I won't spoil anything in case my suspicions are true.
| Eonflare chapter 2 . 8/9/2014
Hmm, I noticed you made a few changes. It was definitely Zhuqiaomon who opposed it.
| Aisha Snow chapter 2 . 8/7/2014
First off, LOVING the way you write Sora. Perfectly in-character and I can imagine her being headstrong, at least from how we saw her in 02.
Also LOVE how you write Tai. He's always treated Davis like a little brother and I love that about their relationship.
However, everyone else feels OOC. Agumon is way too harsh for his own good and it's not nice of him to put Davis down like that. Heck, if it weren't for Davis and Raidramon's help, he'd still be under the control of the Dark Spiral. I feel he's just being a bit ungrateful.
Veemon, whilst he teases his partner I feel he would be completely supportive over Davis's dream to begin a noodle cart.
And Kari...gosh, this sounds tactless but she was a bitch. T.K. was too. 'There's only so much we can do for our siblings'. WTF? I'm sorry, whilst T.K. was rather different to his 01 portrayal, he wouldn't act like a total douchebag. Kari wasn't very nice either with how she treated Joe and Izzy. I know the dub kinda ruined Kari's character, but I'd recommend, for Kari, watching the sub/original. She's a lot nicer in the Japanese compared to the dub.
| Eonflare chapter 23 . 7/24/2014
Typical setup chapter. Not too much to say about this. Oh well, I suppose chapters can't be too long, but you'll want to avoid using chapters like this too much, they're just a wall of talking characters.
| Eonflare chapter 22 . 7/22/2014
I'm surprised Biyomon was so clueless as to why Agumon acted that way. He didn't tell her exactly why he did it, but he dropped enough hints.
I still find it very odd that they let that Giromon go. Even if he did attack out of misguided intentions, he still admitted that he worked for Alphamon.
| Aisha Snow chapter 1 . 7/17/2014
I really enjoyed this.
I liked the start with Agumon and BlackWarGreymon talking with each other. I always loved the bond the two shared. I do feel starting with a dialogue tag wasn't all that clever, particularly because it takes away the tone. Where are Agumon and BlackWargreymon talking? More description would be a good thing there. I'm not great at sensory imagery myself but readers tend to like it
However, I would like to critique on one thing. You tell a lot when it comes to emotions. An example of this is 'BlackWargreymon actually looked frightened'. Don't tell us that. A suggestion would be 'BlackWargreymon's eyes were distant and his posture was tense'. Okay, maybe it isn't the best example but it was the best I could come up with.
I did feel Agumon and Tai both a bit OOC. Why would Agumon still have nightmares of the time? Even if he does, why would Tai be so dismissive of it, particularly SkullGreymon and even MetalGreymon-evil. Those are horrible memories for Tai as well, especially SkullGreymon considering it was Tai's actions that caused it in the first place.
I also like Agumon talking to Gennai. Though the dreams make me wonder if MaloMyotismon really is back. Who is this holy knight digimon? Few questions to be answered.
All in all, it was a good chapter. I'm going to read more.
| Eonflare chapter 21 . 7/11/2014
Awww, sibling bonding at it's best. First they expect the other to be attacked by the house pets, then annoy, insult and scold each other and then have a mud wrestle. Haha, seriously though, this was a pretty sweet chapter and really shows that the digimon and their partners really are family.
| Angelz of Light chapter 1 . 6/28/2014
It's a good start.
Tai seemed a bit out of character in there. Ok, he was aloof but unless this is set during 01, which it doesn't seem so, he'd be more concerned. We've seen how worried he gets for Agumon in the Home Away from Home episode so him having constant nightmares would be a point of concern.
I like how you included BlackWargreymon in your fics as he's usually ignored. I do hope he will be alright and get a more active role.