*smirk* *snigger* *Attempts to wrestle hysterics under control since I am in school IT room and am likely to get obscure looks*

This is good.

You should have a Dallas ending. Archie dies but wakes up two years later, in a shower and it's all been a terrible dream. And they all live happily ever after with boosted ratings.

I love it! Especially the "Priscilla the Queen of the Desert" ending. Now if only you had done a "Sixth Sense" ending... "Archie, I see dead people..."