|Reviews for Sugar and Candy|
| Awesome Rapidash chapter 1 . 12/11/2011
Oh my, what to say after reading your story! Amazing and sweet come to mind!
Though short, I think you did a very good job of bringing out Alisa's emotions and you painted a picture of a lovely couple in my mind! Well done!
Overall this was well written and wonderfully detailed. I really have negative to say about it! Perhaps the only nit pick was the length. But that's such a minor thing when compared to the depth and feeling you were able to convey.
I'm looking forward to reading more from you!
| Angel Peach Blossom chapter 1 . 12/10/2011
Wow! It's hard for me to find words for what I read!
First of all, this is written beautifully! I love the look into Alisa's head! You did a wonderful job on her POV!
The way you had her describe things was perfect! I like how there was a mention of sweets at times. Though I really felt sorry for her when you mentioned what happened to her at age 5!
It's really hard to find anything negative here, and that is a good thing! As is, I only noticed two things, but they are minor really.
I think, near the beginning, instead of saying fishes, it should have just been fish. I think it would look better that way.
The second part is when she said 'she smelt it' referring to the chocolate cake. I can't explain why, but that didn't sit well with me. I think it would have fit better if she said a certain smell hit her nose. But that's my opinion!
Overall though, this story is very well done! I look forward to reading more from you!
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/10/2011
This one is great. I also think Alisa is awesome