|Reviews for Redemption|
| Missa chapter 1 . 12/12/2011
Alright, you need to learn to describe things with out using adjectives, the ones you are you using aren't even that good. (E.G. Dark, cold, bad, old.)Here is an example of descriptive writing with out using Adjectives. "The sun had long since set and deep chill had taken it's place."
Also, you use the term he too often. Since it is at Spinner's end we know it it Severus, so you can use his name. You can use other descriptive nouns. Just using the words he and his over and over creates a very repetitive feel that is hard to get into.
| muppetpowelly7 chapter 2 . 12/12/2011
wowowowowowowowow! update please! xx
| RedRose102 chapter 1 . 12/10/2011
I like it? This isn't a one shot is it? Because I would really like you to continue this.