|Reviews for A Hitman, a Biker, and a Bouncer|
| The Survival chapter 2 . 7/31/2013
Johnny, Niko, Jacob, Terry and Clay were done killing the Angels of Death. "Have fun down there, you fucking Deadbeats", Johnny yelled. "Dat wuz some fun shit, ma rasta", Jacob said posetively. I know, right?", Johnny answered". "Ya man, bot deres more bumbaclots comming right now, me breda", Jacob said as he saw a couple of Angels of Death members on Angel motorcycles. "No time for bullshit, let's go!" Niko screamed. "Come on guys, get in the van", Terry said. "I ain't ridin' in no fucking cage!" Clay yelled. "Well, It's the only way out", Johnny said.
They drove away, as Terry was in the back of the Van shooting the Angels of Death screaming "you deadbeat peices of shit". "Drive, come on", Niko screamed. "Can't you see i'm trying my best? You can't go that fast in this peice of shit" Johnny says as he puts the pedal to the medal. As all the Angels of Death members were shot off their bikes, Johnny stopped the Van. "Woah! That wasn't so hard. Gentlemen, I apreciate the help. "No problem", Niko said. " Iz bin fun, but i gottha go hum to badman ye no? Johnny man, i like you, you a real bad rasta", Jacob said, as he is starting to enjoy Johnny's Company. Yeah, see ya. Let me know if me and the brothers can do for you, and we'll take care of it". "This reminds me of my army days", Clay said. "Well, It's been a pleasure but i gotta go", Terry said and walked away. "Adios, amigo
| nobody impotant chapter 6 . 7/29/2013
Great story, but its not finished. What's with the cliffhanger?
| Mokrie Dela chapter 1 . 2/14/2013
I noticed a few errors, mainly missing capitals and i found the voice mail speech slightly over-bearing with it all being on one line, i would have done a new line for each segment of speech.
But i can't put your work down because of that - I'm new here and getting to grips with the website, and at the moment my work is a bit messy (it says it'll take a while to update)
You're also making a mistake I've made a lot - when typeing: ." He said , the fullstop should be a comma:
"Hello." He said - is wrong
"Hello," He said. Is correct.
My biggest issue is the speech not being on a new line - each new speaker should be on a new line - and i notice this most toward the end - ...your apartment then." Niko said "Can't i come with you?" Florian said "No, I don't want... It's very confusing.
But I'm not knocking your work - i found it quite accessible, and the chapter size is nicely proportioned so I can read it when i have time! I'm going to follow this, and see where it goes!
| Anonymous chapter 6 . 8/9/2012
| Anonymous chapter 3 . 8/9/2012
Shit just got real.
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 8/9/2012
Interesting story so far. Like the concept!
| Foopar chapter 6 . 2/1/2012
What? No special thanks to me? I'm heartbroken.
| Shadow knight1121 chapter 6 . 1/28/2012
Cliffhanger, great chapter man I like how you combined the three together.
| Shadow knight1121 chapter 5 . 1/22/2012
Great story I like how you have all the gta 4 characters working together can't wait for your next chapter.
| Foopar chapter 5 . 1/12/2012
Hey, another great chapter. Keep it up!
| Foopar chapter 4 . 12/30/2011
AWWWW SHIT SON! Shit just got real!
lol things are heating up! Suicide bombers? Thats some crazy stuff! And Roman recognizes Johnny, well thats not good at all! Can't wait to see Niko's reaction, what with how protective he is of Roman.
| BigBoss475X chapter 3 . 12/24/2011
ummm Johanny would not even help niko if he found out that niko killed Jim... but stiil awsome story please update
| Foopar chapter 3 . 12/14/2011
Another entertaining chapter! This Jeremy guy sure is crazy lol. You might want to work on expressing a bit more detail in your chapters, but it's still a fun read. As I said before, your definitely keeping everyone in character.
| Foopar chapter 2 . 12/12/2011
I can tell you have a real good grasp of Johnny's personality, you've definately succeeded in keeping him in character. Keep up the good work! Can't wait to see what the Pegorinos are planning. Hopefully we get Luis in on this soon…
| Foopar chapter 1 . 12/12/2011
Sometimes it's the most obvious of ideas that are the best. :)
Just throwing Niko, Johnny, and Luis into a big mashup is so simple, but brilliant at the same time. This story isn't trying to be anything other then what it is, and that's just some simple fun. And judging by the first chapter, your more then capable of delivering that.