|Reviews for Stargate: Return of the Old Ones Episode 1|
| Olaf74 chapter 10 . 5/14/2014
An amazing beginning of a new series.
| thomas.hampshire1 chapter 1 . 2/12/2014
you should update this story more as it is awesome
| W1553 chapter 10 . 5/1/2013
Well where should I start.
The story is great and all.
But you cant mix past, present and future in the way you do it, it makes my head hurt.
Heres an outtake from your story where you switch from present to past:
"PRESENTDebris from the explosions that consumed what was left of the Destroyer begin to burn up in the atmosphere and now poses no threat the people of K Tau. The Hebridan Battleship fires her tri-rail guns into the frigates and cruiser while the Jaffa ship goes toe-to-toe with the Aschen
PASTIn seconds two more frigates and the remaining cruiser where nothing but debris and the Aschen Destroyer had lost shields and had multiple fires raging across her hull. The surviving four frigates enter hyperspace and leave the Destroyer to her "
This example isnt the worst, its not great writing but not terrible either, but write the story in one of the tenses/tempuses (time locators) please, unless: some one speaks PRESENT, some one remembers or retell something PAST etc. otherwise stick to one tense/tempus.
And whats up with "[name] is stood [rest of sentence]"? use "was standing" instead, seriously, its almost perfect, except for the grammar. You use "is" more then you have to.
Im hopping it gets better in the next episode.
Favorite and follow on story, depending on the rest of the episodes, you might get a follow on author or even a favorit.
Otherwise great so keep up the good work.
| stephenopolos chapter 7 . 3/21/2013
Um no, Anubis was locked in eternal battle with Oma, and Babylon 5 is just... No, I'm done with this story
| dmobking chapter 9 . 5/1/2012
cut down on writing smiling because hearing 4 times in the first section kinda anoying
| Trife chapter 1 . 5/1/2012
How come every line with a person in it is always smiling when they are done talking? It kind of got very annoying after the first 8 lines of everyone's expressions being the same.
| thunder18 chapter 9 . 5/1/2012
enjoyed reading this chapter
| XxXLuvTheOriginalsXxX chapter 8 . 4/13/2012
Wise man Janus
| XxXLuvTheOriginalsXxX chapter 7 . 4/13/2012
Anubis serviced uh oh why didnt the ancients stop him from entering the super gate
| XxXLuvTheOriginalsXxX chapter 6 . 4/13/2012
What a story very good I'm lovin' it!
| XxXLuvTheOriginalsXxX chapter 5 . 4/13/2012
Ohhh a long secret
| XxXLuvTheOriginalsXxX chapter 4 . 4/13/2012
Awesome another tokra but is he really who he says he is because eligera was the founder of the tokra
| XxXLuvTheOriginalsXxX chapter 3 . 4/13/2012
Epic story but you forgot Atlantis
| XxXLuvTheOriginalsXxX chapter 2 . 4/13/2012
Wow all that stuff sounds so cool
| XxXLuvTheOriginalsXxX chapter 1 . 4/13/2012
Awesome my favorite ancient, I love this!