Reviews for Wing ZERO: Beginnings
NoLongerWriting-AbandonedAccou chapter 12 . 4/19/2012
If this wasn't a betrayal, it would probably get more notice but I see that is kinda the theme you have with writing. You always making Serenity out to be some kind of monster...

I've read very few stories with Serenity beraying her senshi that were good, and even fewer stories of her senshi betraying her. They are often not written well and make absolutely no sense.

Serenity did not give them the blood oath, they chose that themselves, you should read the manga, it will be very enlightening, also see the subtitled episodes in full to see how the characters actually interact with each other. This reminds me too much of the dub anime and the dub anime was poorly made, many episodes including an entire season were cut from airing, many scenes were altered, deleted and changed and the entire script was rewritten for children.

I am actually making a Serenity betrays her senshi story. It's in the process. However it's not going to be that simple. She absolutely loves them and they love her, it will be complicated but a happy ending.

I love all the characters and it kinda annoys me how you not only bash Serenity's character but by bashing her, you making Ami become a character I'm started to really dislike, at least in your stories and I've read a few of them.

In the future, what you should try to do, since Mercury is obviously your favorite, why not just make a story centered around her. Make it AU but try not to destroy her character. When you make her uber powerful and unrealistic, it's like it's not even the adorable/smart/sweet Ami-chan that we all love!

Another thing that will help you, is if you can start adding more detail to your story. More description and depth will make it easier for us readers to picture what's happening. Your grammar is pretty good so, the detail and description is really all you shoud try to improve on at the moment.

Also, if your that into betrayal, you need to make it more believable. Your stories too often just jump right into some kind of accusation that Usagi had done something horribly wrong and she the evil girl you portray her as, just admits it! Or easily makes herself seem evil when for the entire series we know that's not who she is.

Try leading up to it more. Slowly progress your story and make sure to ask yourself questions as you write it.

Why is Usagi Evil? When did she become evil? How did she become evil? How does she get caught? How does it become revealed? How did Ami realize this? Could Ami really believe it's true just like that? It's her friend! Her Princess! Ami being the smart person she is, wouldn't just jump into accusing her, she would probably mull over this for days if not longer, and look for any indication for it being true and then she'd mull over it more to try and prove it, and she'd be conflicted on what to do about it. She wouldn't confide in anyone right away but Makoto, Luna, and Artemis she is closest too in the inner group. She looks up to Pluto for her intelligance(In the manga Pluto is a scientist.) She connects with Michiru because they both love water and swimming, and in the movie, she admired Haruka for being so strong and relying on intuition, something she knew she couldn't do because she relys on facts and data, but she loves when they worked together to win.

Also, when making Usagi evil, you should come up with something better then not allowing them to love, because in the series Usagi encouraged them to find love often. Ami with Ryo(I think that was his name) also in her manga short(Ami's first love, which was also turned into a mini movie.) Rei with Chad, in the manga Rei hated men because of her ex fiance who was just like her cold politician father. Makoto with Motoki or that one guy who always looked up to her, he was in the manga more then the anime. Minako confided in Usagi about Ace in the anime, but before Sailor Moon was made, Codename: Sailor V was the only manga out, and it inspired Naoko to create Sailor Moon.

Read it. Codename: Sailor V and you'll know the reason why the senshi gave Serenity a vow of chastity.
Angel of Courage chapter 12 . 3/14/2012
So this is the end of this one? Huh...well, got to say it was pretty good and had a nice ending. So Rei and Makoto stopped Relena from floating away, they stopped it, and now we're going to a council...yay~

Keep up the good work!
Angel of Courage chapter 11 . 3/14/2012
So we now know his 'reason' for his 'betrayal'...poor guy. But at least they're back together now. It was a sweet scene. And, she knows how to talk to Wufei~ XD

Yup, Relena's got to be something special if he'll do that...and that plan to ram the

Wonder what Wufei has planned...And now Hiiro is off again? Huh...Keep up the good work!
Angel of Courage chapter 10 . 3/14/2012
Relena's on Libra? Wow...that ain't good...

Duo...great job with the fight! And really, I agree with Ami's response to his comment...people do stupid things when they're around that age. Yup.

Okay we have both Trowa and Duo with their memories now. Wonder when Wufei will get his...and Minako's guy, wherever she is (*but I know~*)...if he hasn't got them already.

Keep up the good work!
Angel of Courage chapter 9 . 3/14/2012
Ooh, big battle~ And installing the Zero system on Quatre's gundam? Well, have to agree with them...

So...Dorothy huh? Hm...well, things didn't go the way she planned~ :)

Another great chapter! Keep up the good work!
Angel of Courage chapter 8 . 2/23/2012
And so we finally have the reunion of Rei and Wufei, husband and wife...ah, that's going to be fun. XD

Ooh, so Trowa got his memories back? Woot! Plus the whole 'emotional Mako'... well, we've just got Wufei and 'the other guy' (Minako's pairing (you know...)) left that need to regain their memories of the past...yay~

Oh, that's a dramatic end. Keep up the good work!
Angel of Courage chapter 7 . 1/4/2012
Ooh, nice flashback~ And also, I have to agree with Mizu-san's review for below. Yup...

Ah, so Quatre explains all. Hope things work out in the end for them...but it probably will, right?

Keep up the good work!
MizuKitsune10 chapter 7 . 1/3/2012
Ooh. That was unexpected. I liked the twist though. Of course, I'm starting to expect this kind of thing now. Stupid Serenity. I hope she dies a slow, painful, karmic death.
Angel of Courage chapter 6 . 12/22/2011
Oh, things are getting difficult, aren't they? And now we have the girls meeting up with the guys...well, most of them. Just one question for that scene: Is Trowa going to find his gundam soon-ish? Or is it going to be a while?

Ooh, so now Quatre has his memories as Zoicite back? That's we just have to work on the others. I wonder if Minako's having fun, off by herself...maybe. Ugh, now I'm wondering about the 'reunion' between Wufei and Rei...

Keep up the good work!
Angel of Courage chapter 5 . 12/21/2011
So that fight is over now? Huh...and now Mako's here~ *cue hero music* Mako to the rescue! that was originally Trowa's 'speech'? Huh...well, it worked~ :D

Great chapter! Keep up the good work!
Angel of Courage chapter 4 . 12/20/2011
So he's started it, huh? And now they know it's him and are fighting back. Nice~ This will be good.

Keep up the good work!
Angel of Courage chapter 3 . 12/18/2011
BOOM! Can someone say bye-bye to your future? You should~

Huh, I never thought of it like that. So that's why she's so 'popular' with the guys. And as for the thing with Mamoru/Endymion and Beryl...that's sad. And the Shitennou betrayal because of her? Ugh...I hate that too...

So now what will they do? Any plans for them after this, Star-san?

Keep up the good work!
Angel of Courage chapter 2 . 12/17/2011
Ooh, so a 'deranged Quatre' Nice one, Ami. And Q-bean, huh? Nice~ And I bet he had fun~

Can't wait to see how those two end up. Keep up the good work!
Angel of Courage chapter 1 . 12/17/2011
Ooh, nice one, Usagi. Play the victim, get support, have a master plan...just one thing...IT WON'T WORK!

Nice move by Ami though. And now she's spilled Usagi's secret. Wonder how that will end with Usagi and the other senshi now...oh well, but now Ami's moving on. Yup.

Keep up the good work!