|Reviews for Right Moments|
| Dragonmage chapter 5 . 5/17/2002
Hey that is one strange but cool fic.
Please continue it. It really irks me
how it will end!
| Aleh chapter 5 . 5/17/2002
Not bad, although the next chapter is either 5 or 6, depending on if you count the prologue as a chapter for your numbering purposes (not 7 by any stretch of the imagination).
| John Hitchens chapter 5 . 5/17/2002
Interesting. I like the way you avoided any simple solutions. The deeper issues being explored here leave one with a sense of foreboding, as if the inevitable conclusion will not be what we originally wished for.
| pouji chapter 5 . 5/17/2002
love extreme love
now opportunity for R to question Rumic universe
in relationship to the knowledge he has gained
death life desire
reality and ghosts of the past
understanding his own strength and growth and death
manipulating the physics of humor
comedy is hard (except black)
violence is easy (except pure)
possibly too painful w/o some hope of joy
I'm surprised Happi has such a deep understanding
of lifelessness and happiness
R no ofukuro / Kasu probably deals w/ sadness best
I love deep hint!
R age and responsibility ? unfunny!
can R truely understand what it is to be
a man if he discovers his non-exsistance?
comedy is the savior
| WarpWizard chapter 5 . 5/17/2002
Another cool chapter! I don't really have any constructive criticism, I just like reading this story. If I had a problem with anything, or could point out some grammer/spelling mistakes, or whatever, I would, but there aren't any. I find most "criticism" to just be opinion, as in "Why did you make Akane such a bitch?" etc. I find all aspects of the story to be fine, proven by the fact that I read it fast and immediately want more! Take the story in whatever direction you find most compelling. Heck, if you feel up to it, split it into alternate stories and do them all, like that series "synthesis, antithesis".
| OlympicHam chapter 5 . 5/17/2002
Exceptionaly great story. Your a great writter, I like the fact that I have to look up some of your vocabulary. Multi demensional characters, very nice and refreshing. Let the reader guess on how long Ranma has been stuck in that one day and how long it takes him to learn something. I think you knew that already since you stoped doing it later in this chapter. You had Kodachi clutch her head in pain in a past chapter, are you going to go into more detail about that? For Ranma's techniques, are you going to go into chi control, which is like ki except it's the energy around the user instead of the energy in or of the user. If Ranma does learn magic I think he could hold spells onto the next 'day' since magic is channeled not created by the user. Why not take Kasumi to a night on the town? She has been cleaning and cooking for Ranma since he came to live with the Tendos. I always felt that Ukyo was too much in Ranma's friend zone to become Ranma's lover. If Ranma learns psychology he could learn how to unlearn his fear of cats. Unlearning the fear though would destroy the nekoken, he would need to lesson his fear and embrace the cat within. Mastering the Neko would carry over to the next day since it's a mental change. Is there any crime in the world that Ranma could stop? Would he want to become a doctor and learn how to save some lives? He wouldn't want to become a lawyer but I can see him learning the laws of Japan and learn how to find the loopholes in laws and contracts. I think Ranma has to be content with his life to have the day 'right'. Defeating Happosai wouldn't be the end of this story. He has to find who he loves, accept his curse or destroy it everyday, defeat Happosai AND Cologne, and do things that make him happy for the whole day. The day that everybody comes back to school should be a surprise for him since to be content with forever-day means not careing about the next day. I have a feeling you already know all this. I'll be watching for the next chapter, have fun writing.
| 0taku chapter 5 . 5/17/2002
This fic is fantastic!
I always thought that the Groundhog Day scenario could be used in a Ranma fic to great effect, and you've proven it here!
I especially like the way you've treated the relationship issues, taking the time to explore Ranma's feelings towards his fiancees and vice-versa. The fact that you've done this while keeping fairly in character is really cool. Way too many people would have used this as a springboard into lemon land.
Anyway, masterful work, and I hope to see more soon!
| DarkStrider chapter 5 . 5/17/2002
A very good idea turned into a very good story. You have my applause :)
I am curious as to where you will take this, as you ahve yet to explore the full possibilities inherent to this particular idea.
True Ranma is learning techniques and gaining knowledge, but so far, aside fromt eh fiancees, that's pretty much all you've done.
Perhaps you could have Ranma explore the different girls in his life, just to see if one of them could make him happy (i.e. Nabiki, Kasumi and a few others). It never hurts to try!
Anything is possible in the world of Ranma 1/2, so bear than in mind with the ki techniques. Maybe you could find an 'instant transportation' technique :D
Anyways, that's my input. Very well done.
| Lup1n03 chapter 5 . 5/16/2002
with each new chapter
respect for you increases
please post more quickly
All kidding aside, this is one of the most refreshing fics I've read in a while in that you have given yourself license to take ranma in any direction you so choos and still remain within the realm of IC. I would love to see what happens when the next day comes and Ranma is overnight no longer Ranma as the nerimites once knew him...Any idea of how many chapters this is going to turn into? I think this could become a true epic and that the possible sidestories alone could become epics themselves.
| gan chapter 5 . 5/16/2002
this is a great fic. Love it
| ikillyoupig chapter 4 . 5/11/2002
Okay, first off: Nice story. I like the premise, and I like how you present it.
Now then, I know Ranma's dense, but taking an entire year to learn more about Akane? Well, I suppose that it doesn't help that every morning she returns to the same bad mood she had which was precipitated by Ranma's actions. I guess you can't really blame someone for being in a bad mood two days after her wedding was destroyed. Plus, Akane doesn't know the day will repeat, so she thinks she can take time on their relationship. I think if Ranma had caught her on a neutral day he wouldn't have needed to work so hard.
Exactly how sane is Ranma going to be at the end of this story? I know I'd probably snap if I had to experience the same day repeatedly. Which is what seems to be happening to Ranma now. Or maybe, at the end Ranma will have matured so much that he sees all the girls as too childish for him. That would be a rather ironic ending.
By the way, in answer to your question: The words come from French, and so, "fiance" is male while "fiancee" is female. They're pronounced the same way but written differently. Some people out there seem to think the two terms are interchangeable, which is a point that has bugged me for some time in Ranma stories.
Anyways, I give you my standard message: Interesting story, and keep the chapters coming.
| Kathleen chapter 4 . 5/11/2002
Interesting. I liked Groundhog Day; never seen a fic based on it, though. It's nice that he's learning a little bit more about interpersonal relationships. The other girls should get a chance with him, and maybe he could use the chance to get to know his mother better? If this turns out to be a R/A fic, you might want to come up with a logical way for them to have a happy life together, especially if he need's a year's worth of dress rehersals for them to have a nice date.
| Akraen S. Metcalf chapter 4 . 5/11/2002
Wow. I love your writing style and your creative story build up.
You've managed to show all of the facets of certain characters rather than forcing them into a certain mold, which is unique amongst fanfiction attempts yet in my opinion is both refreshing and awe inspiring.
I saw the movie which you are emulating and enjoyed it immensely. This story you are writing seems to immitate the feel of the movie perfectly, which must be very difficult to do with the Ranma storyline as your props.
I've also failed to notice any problems regarding spelling or sentence structure or punctuation which is truly refreshing considerring the sad state of affairs in the fanfiction community and even the world as a whole.
I'm a bit concerned about the foreboding feeling being raised by the end of this chapter. Openly murderring people 'since they'll be good as new' is the advice I'm rememberring Sasuke to having given Ranma, and that is really not good as such an act would not fade from the mind and would plausibly cause irreparable harm to his psyche.
I have to ask when you're planning on having Ranma finally try to learn what motivates the other girls and give them a fair chance. You've stated that he thought his mother's advice was good yet he's consistently ignored it to date.
I also have to wonder about something you let slip quite a bit earlier. Kodachi had given Ranma some advice which you have him thinking in retrospection was good. When exactly is he going to follow through on that advice..?
Anyway, just wanted to say I love what you've written so far and I hope to see those other 18 pages you've spoken of in the near future.
| pouji chapter 4 . 5/11/2002
WAAAAAAAY too Akane-centric
if yer gunna be A-centric at least throw in more tidbits learned from other characters
Ranma NEEDS a vacation
quest for Ryouga/Tofuu( mom's)
He's MUCH too concerned about getting out of the loop
More Kasumi (ComiRoman)
More Genma (ComiAction)
Figuring out relationships esp (GenNoa) (SouGen) (SaoTenHap) (ColHap)
2nd stringers need comedy! (ShUkKo)
3rd stringers need mention (Shiratori Azusa)
Possibly letting others have a free day (genius kunoichi vs midget retainer)
or see world as bigger than manga/animation/fiction
and he hasn't cured NekoKen?
hasn't developed sideskills (cooking/Chinese/medicine) damn his learning curve is low!
Maybe bits from supporting chara typical day
as long as he's cheating, might as well take advantage of magic
(reversejewel,copy mirror,prison pendant,imprintegg,amazon treas,jusenjunkseller
format ok digest ok summary ok fighting ok
love stubborn tenacious R
works hard and gets no play but loves it anyway
| Ted MacKinnon chapter 3 . 5/8/2002
Excellent story so far - intelligent, and well thought out rather than being derivative. Keep it coming!