|Reviews for Right Moments|
| Guest chapter 2 . 5/23/2002
You did a decent job of setting the stage here, I'm curious to see if you will introduce some of the missing cast later on.
My only problem is that I find it hard to believe that Ranma was so dense that he would not catch on to the STRANGE goings on by the third day. Especially after Akane floored him with the bookbag when he asked about the other students. That's a pretty good size red flag.
He also seems to have accepted things a tad to easily. Granted he has lived a bizarre life but I suprised he wasn't a little shocked once he finally did catch on.
Regardless of the above I still enjoyed reading this, on to chapter 3.
| taxzombie chapter 1 . 5/23/2002
Being a fan of the Groundhog's Day movie you tweeked my curiousity enough that I wanted to see just how you were going set it up.
Having not seen all the videos nor read all the manga's my knowledge is limited in some places, i.e. the Nanban Mirror so I was left basically accepting it's ability to provide the magic required for Happosai's stunt. But seeing as what triggered that in the GHD movie was never explained, or I missed it, it's not that important a detail. Something had to trigger it.
Happosai doing something that could be construded as even vaguely noble is slightly confusing but he does have selfish reason for it so I he probably wouldn't self-combust. The rest of the cast strike me as IC.
All an all I feel it is a solid start to this tale, I look forward reading the next chapter.
| pouji chapter 6 . 5/23/2002
nothing wrong with DHK
but R's universe is too small for the level of understanding he displays
poverty suffering humiliation cruelty
how far can he fly before he learns to forget time?
regardless of personal power,R is locked in a comic book form
it blinds and protects him i guess
the insane/naive shall inherit the earth
from to wolf to sheep he might stand a chance
anyway, R can't advance w/o learning the
O-counter / reversal from cologne anyway
| Tinsel chapter 6 . 5/22/2002
Lordy this is good stuff! Just keeps getting better and better.
| OlympicHam chapter 6 . 5/22/2002
Seems as if Ranma might become corrupted by his power since he doesn't stay in his Zen state most of the time. If Ranma does learn magic, will you make him meet other sentient beings not of Earth? If so, would these beings still be under the power of Happosai's spell? I can't imagine a god being caught by the spell. Did Ranma ever beat Cologne? I last remember thier fight as Ranma being killed by that rock dust in the lungs. Ranma hasn't had a 'Fun' day, not to be confused with his 'Revenge/Killing' day. He could have himself a second childhood. You may want to add Kasumi's adivice (from Chapter 3) and show that Ranma is doing more than just learning techniques. "As Ranma painted a portrait of Kasumi he thought about what Nabiki said" or "Cleaning the motor oil from his hands, Ranma decided that Nabiki was right. Slaming down the hood of the old mustange he was working on, he set out to follow Nabiki's advice." The second example is a little trite but hopefully you get my idea. With Ranma being more powerful, aware, intelligent, and wiser will you allow him to find Dr. Tofu, Natsume, Ryoga, and Ryu Kumon? Just for the hell of it, blast Ranma to the moon. He'd be the first Japanese person to ever take tuch it, and also the first woman if he changes. Can't think of anything else. Have fun writing.
| NemoBlank chapter 6 . 5/22/2002
Fine story. I hope you continue.
| notenchi chapter 6 . 5/22/2002
Wowsy! This a really amazing take on the groundhog idea! Not to mention Ranma seems to be finding out all the bad behind-the-scenes stuff in the process.
Keep up the good work!
| WarpWizard chapter 6 . 5/22/2002
Sorry, can't be harsh when I'm enjoying the fic. You pack more new martial arts techniques in one chapters than others do in an entire story. Bravo! Devil Hunter Kodachi was unexpected. Gotta up the stakes as Ranma's power increases, makes sense. I have no real idea where this is going and I don't care! Doing good, keep going. Genma and Soun 'enchanted' their wives to get them to marry: disgusting and realistic. Something *has* to have happened to explain why Genma and Nadoka would get together. I'm glad Ranma didn't accidently orgasm all his fiancees into eternal slavery, that would have been just too much.
| Dragonmage chapter 5 . 5/17/2002
Hey that is one strange but cool fic.
Please continue it. It really irks me
how it will end!
| Aleh chapter 5 . 5/17/2002
Not bad, although the next chapter is either 5 or 6, depending on if you count the prologue as a chapter for your numbering purposes (not 7 by any stretch of the imagination).
| John Hitchens chapter 5 . 5/17/2002
Interesting. I like the way you avoided any simple solutions. The deeper issues being explored here leave one with a sense of foreboding, as if the inevitable conclusion will not be what we originally wished for.
| pouji chapter 5 . 5/17/2002
love extreme love
now opportunity for R to question Rumic universe
in relationship to the knowledge he has gained
death life desire
reality and ghosts of the past
understanding his own strength and growth and death
manipulating the physics of humor
comedy is hard (except black)
violence is easy (except pure)
possibly too painful w/o some hope of joy
I'm surprised Happi has such a deep understanding
of lifelessness and happiness
R no ofukuro / Kasu probably deals w/ sadness best
I love deep hint!
R age and responsibility ? unfunny!
can R truely understand what it is to be
a man if he discovers his non-exsistance?
comedy is the savior
| WarpWizard chapter 5 . 5/17/2002
Another cool chapter! I don't really have any constructive criticism, I just like reading this story. If I had a problem with anything, or could point out some grammer/spelling mistakes, or whatever, I would, but there aren't any. I find most "criticism" to just be opinion, as in "Why did you make Akane such a bitch?" etc. I find all aspects of the story to be fine, proven by the fact that I read it fast and immediately want more! Take the story in whatever direction you find most compelling. Heck, if you feel up to it, split it into alternate stories and do them all, like that series "synthesis, antithesis".
| OlympicHam chapter 5 . 5/17/2002
Exceptionaly great story. Your a great writter, I like the fact that I have to look up some of your vocabulary. Multi demensional characters, very nice and refreshing. Let the reader guess on how long Ranma has been stuck in that one day and how long it takes him to learn something. I think you knew that already since you stoped doing it later in this chapter. You had Kodachi clutch her head in pain in a past chapter, are you going to go into more detail about that? For Ranma's techniques, are you going to go into chi control, which is like ki except it's the energy around the user instead of the energy in or of the user. If Ranma does learn magic I think he could hold spells onto the next 'day' since magic is channeled not created by the user. Why not take Kasumi to a night on the town? She has been cleaning and cooking for Ranma since he came to live with the Tendos. I always felt that Ukyo was too much in Ranma's friend zone to become Ranma's lover. If Ranma learns psychology he could learn how to unlearn his fear of cats. Unlearning the fear though would destroy the nekoken, he would need to lesson his fear and embrace the cat within. Mastering the Neko would carry over to the next day since it's a mental change. Is there any crime in the world that Ranma could stop? Would he want to become a doctor and learn how to save some lives? He wouldn't want to become a lawyer but I can see him learning the laws of Japan and learn how to find the loopholes in laws and contracts. I think Ranma has to be content with his life to have the day 'right'. Defeating Happosai wouldn't be the end of this story. He has to find who he loves, accept his curse or destroy it everyday, defeat Happosai AND Cologne, and do things that make him happy for the whole day. The day that everybody comes back to school should be a surprise for him since to be content with forever-day means not careing about the next day. I have a feeling you already know all this. I'll be watching for the next chapter, have fun writing.
| 0taku chapter 5 . 5/17/2002
This fic is fantastic!
I always thought that the Groundhog Day scenario could be used in a Ranma fic to great effect, and you've proven it here!
I especially like the way you've treated the relationship issues, taking the time to explore Ranma's feelings towards his fiancees and vice-versa. The fact that you've done this while keeping fairly in character is really cool. Way too many people would have used this as a springboard into lemon land.
Anyway, masterful work, and I hope to see more soon!