Reviews for Counting Down
Eekhoorntjes chapter 4 . 1/5/2012
I completely forgot about the morphogenetic fields. *facepalm*

I have one question, though. Who killed Cap? Because Ace killed him with the axe when he went through door 1, but he couldn't possibly kill Cap this time.

Did Cap kill himself? This was something I've been wondering for a while since the game, so don't mind me! _

I hope you get inspiration soon, since I'm looking forward to it. This chapter was well written, and all I'm going to say is: I liked it.

~Eekhoorntjes
Eekhoorntjes chapter 3 . 1/5/2012
"I don't know what your motive would have been for killing Snake," she waved the screwdriver casually,

I believe that it should be like this:

"I don't know what your motibe would have been for killing Snake." She waved the screwdriver casually,

It's not like she waved the sentence, so I think you made a small mistake.

I loved how you wrote Lotus! I can see how she would bring back "motive" and all, so I could feel how right this part was. I'm looking forward to chapter 4~

(_~)

~Eekhoorntjes
Eekhoorntjes chapter 2 . 1/5/2012
Me again, I will keep reading, like I said.

I think that the second sentence should be: "Nope, it looks just like this one."

It's a chapter where we can see how Clover distances herself from Lotus and Seven, I think you wrote that pretty well.

I notice that you refer to Clover's eyes as "Green eyes", but I think the sentences would start better if it would be "Her green eyes", or "Clover's green eyes".

~Eekhoorntjes
Eekhoorntjes chapter 1 . 1/5/2012
I liked how you put in Lotus and Seven as a married couple, and how you made use of the earphones.

You did make a mistake, when Clover tells about Junpei going through door 5? Door 3 should be 4.

It could be me, but Clover looks a bit too... filled with life at the end, but I definitely keep reading!

~Eekhoorntjes
Anonymous chapter 4 . 12/31/2011
I have to say, this feels like a cop out. Cap was already dead despite the person who usually kills him being nowhere nearby? Are we to understand that he was poisoned Only in this timeline? (because if the Killer found him already dead, then they wouldn't have bothered using the axe)

Meanwhile, Clover is receiving from her Axe ending self. That would seem more interesting if it was actually going to mean something. And there doesn't seem to be a chance of that
epobbp chapter 3 . 12/30/2011
Just thought I'd say awesome job, been reading since the beginning (usually too lazy to review though :P )

happy early new year .
anon chapter 2 . 12/29/2011
You're doing well. If anything, you're making the characters TOO competent for the story they're in.

Unfortunately, the hardest part is coming up. Is that why the next chapter is taking so long? Because you'll need to create "Cap's" character almost from scratch?

Don't worry too much. I'm sure it'll turn out fine.