|Reviews for Unintended|
| Guest chapter 22 . 7/7/2013
Loved it. But Love is a Battlefeild is still the best fanfic I've ever ever ever read. Ever
| Guest chapter 10 . 6/17/2013
I just can't stop reading this!
| Clove1113 chapter 21 . 3/31/2013
Dahlia, dahlia, oh Dahlia.
| Clove1113 chapter 2 . 3/31/2013
I forgot to say, this goes for another chapter, but, Cali's sister died in Vikus Cortez's games. Random observation. I just like how all your stories fit together.
| Guest chapter 22 . 3/6/2013
I really liked this. I hated the part about Tiberious telling them what he felt for Dahlia, it was so sad. As always, I love d2 and Astraea and Velia made me smile. Zib was awesome too. I just wish you could do a story about Tiberious and Dahlia. So yeah, I'm going back to reread it now good job.
| Clove1113 chapter 5 . 3/5/2013
Oh. That is so sad about Megaera. I always thought her death was sad. I love d2 so you can emagine the excitement I had at the new person. I also love Zib she reminds me of Astraea, and a bit like Velia too.
| Briarpaw chapter 21 . 10/1/2012
I need to stop apologizing to fictional characters but just one thing. Sorry I never even thought about how Thirteen could have taken in a lot more people than just Twelve's small group of survivors. They could have tried to give medical treatment to that entire hospital that got bombed but just left them there. Kind of shows how blinkered we can be by canon. That line about holding the District seems like a transparent excuse. It doesn't sound like that bit of territory is any use to anyone without people. The real reason must be Coin not wanting to take in an organized group. From the beginning they just seemed more like they were making an agreement with Thirteen than joining them.
Except Flax's mother and sister. I like that Weft seems shocked by the pile of guns. It gives her depth to think that she and their mother aren't really comfortable with the idea of being at war yet.
Hooray! Tiberius is alive and saves Paylor's life. Now that I think about it, of course he wasn't someone who would be killed off easily. Coin does seem arrogant enough to assume that no Victors other than the seven she knew about could have survived without much evidence. And everyone else in the room had enough problems of their own not to question it or wouldn't question it in front of Coin. So I guess we shouldn't have taken it at face value.
Just one thing I found unrealistic: It seems like Snow would be unlikely to spare Vesper because of how smart she is. Wouldn't that mean he would want her dead more than her siblings in case she wanted revenge?
We get to see another side of Victory here. She was an innocent child to Cashmere but here she's got that vibe of knowing too much that I guess Cashmere must have just expected but surprises Flax. Satin's comment about there not being "room for innocence" in Panem was actually pretty touching though after what could have happened to her daughter in your last story so I'm not gonna be hard on her.
I can't close this off without saying how awesome Zib and Adie are.
| Briarpaw chapter 22 . 9/27/2012
Just got back from vacation so I'm going to say all the stuff here that I didn't say before.
First of all, if you change your mind and write any more fanfics my vote is that you not change the fact that each protagonist a very perceptive, observant person. You’re good at that and in some ways it really does make for a better story. Readers understand more of what’s going on, we get to know more characters better and in some ways it makes the viewpoint character more likeable.
I owe Satin an apology. I didn’t think she could become president. I agreed with her that people would see her as, quote-on-quote, “the mayoress of the Capitol-district who lost her siblings in the Quarter Quell” rather than seeing that she’s actually capable of being a pretty good person, despite her claims to the contrary. Or maybe it’s the rest of Panem that I underestimated there.
I also like the roles Poplin, Vesper and Narissa have in the new government. Poplin just seemed like a natural politician what with getting all those people to follow her ideas in Thirteen and better Narissa work undercover than not. It’s hard to imagine Narissa actually interacting with people from the Districts on a regular basis without offending at least 95% of the people she talks to. I know, everyone in Panem owes her a lot, but that more-enlightened-than-thou attitude has to really get on the nerves.
I...just feel really sad for Satin after rereading the scene where she says Johanna and Katniss killed her siblings and she wants them dead. She’s had to watch her country practically worship the girl who killed her brother, and put him through heartbreak by killing the girl he loved before that. And something is very wrong if people are surprised she can get away with not mentioning the Mockingjay in her welcome to the rebels. She never gets a chance to just grieve without being reminded!
And then only Satin and Falco really seem upset about Cashmere and Gloss and the others just seem upset for their sakes. I know, they’re probably just not showing it, but it’s still sad to think of how much those two cared about ending Snow’s government and then they don’t get to take part in it.
No wonder Satin and Falco are both offended when Plutarch says, death instead of murder. But I prefer the term assassination. Maybe I shouldn't, but I just want Katniss to have a redemptive moment. I mean, she's nowhere near as strong or smart as Paylor or Satin but most people aren't, right? It takes a lot to be a president. She can't live up to everyone's expectations by putting support behind a new leader with words like Plutarch wanted, but she can take Cashmere's ideas about using the weapons you have in reverse. Some people are just NOT good with words. They have to find other ways to make a point, if they want to do it themselves and not rely on the likes of Plutarch. And I just can't feel sorry for Coin or Snow, in any way.
There's more but I'm gonna post it on another chapter so this doesn't get too cluttered.
| PK9 chapter 22 . 9/19/2012
So at last we reach the bitter... hey, wait a minute... where's the doom and gloom? P
In all seriousness, I never thought of you as an author that could only write tragic endings. It just happens that in the Hunger Games universe, most of the characters end up dying by the end of Mockingjay. After so many tragedies, you really do deserve to get to write a happily ever after.
I'm glad Paylor was able to step down and return to District 8. Even in the short time she was President, it seems like she accomplished a lot in beginning the restoration of Panem and establishing it as a democracy. I absolutely love the "Council of Panem" and the "Treaty of Freedom".
Nice to see Satin get a bit of a happy ending for the de Montfort family. Having her second child named Sapphire makes everything come full circle from the first chapter of Beauty. It's almost like this story was the fourth and final chapter of the Freedom trilogy. I'm glad she ends up being President.
Speaking of Sapphire's election, was that the Quarter Quell box they used to cast their votes? That is SO Plutarch. They might have ended the Games, but they'll never take the Gamemaker out of him.
Nice to see the D8 entourage one last time. I like how you tied up each of their stories. Zib and Lucan having a child. Adie getting a boyfriend. Poplin as the D8 representative. And of course Cam, the ever faithful, waiting for Flaxie.
It was also nice to see the other secondary characters of your universe get their post-war epilogues. Enobaria and Narissa and Vesper. The notable exception being Falco. Maybe if the inspiration to write comes upon you again, we could find out whether he is ever able to move on. I'd be interested to read it even if there wasn't a single canon character in it.
The D8 homecoming had me tearing up. From the reality that not everything was completely recovered to the hero's welcome, to the very last scene of reconciliation with her mother and sister. It was perfect.
So all in all, this was a fantastic story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us, and I really hope that you continue writing in some form in the future.
| PK9 chapter 21 . 9/11/2012
Aw, poor Felix. And Falco, will he ever be able to move on from Cashmere? I think he'd be very helpful to the new government.
I really love how you had Paylor eventually accept the office. True to her character throughout this story, she didn't want the power or the glory, but she accepted it because she was needed. That truly makes her the best person for the job.
Prisca's subplot ended rather abruptly, but I guess it had to happen since this is the last chapter. Also, it kind of fits with Suzanne Collins' style of realism in Mockingjay where not everything has a neat buildup and resolution. Yay for Tiberius, though!
I wish this story would continue so we could see how she deals with each of the members of the new government, both characters from canon (Plutarch) and all the OCs you've created in your various stories that we've come to love (Narissa, Satin, Phoebe, Falco, etc), and also to see how the D8 contingent rebuilds their district. I guess we'll see some of it in the epilogue.
| PK9 chapter 20 . 8/22/2012
Hey! It’s been a really long time since I posted a review. I’ve read this chapter several times periodically, but always got distracted before I could write out my thoughts. But here I am now, and I’ll try to finish up the story soon. I hope you’re still reading reviews!
As always, great chapter.
I really like how Paylor’s first instinct when everything goes crazy is to finish the job with Snow. It really shows how she’s able to stay focused on her priorities even in a chaotic situation. Another reason why she’s qualified to lead.
Once it’s confirmed that Snow’s dead, though, I like that she shows her human side and tries to run away from the madness. It shows how much she had invested in the single mission of eliminating Snow, and her desire is truly to go back to District 8. Of course, that’s not gonna be able to happen.
"But not everyone is represented here today," I say, thinking of the leaders of some of the other districts who are still out there dealing with the direct aftermath of the war. "I thought we believed in democracy and equality. I thought that was the point of the uprising in the first place." - Love this line. It shows why Paylor’s the best candidate for the job, and why she’ll make a good President.
The election of Paylor was beautifully written. I liked how the Capitolians were all kinda vying for the position, but in reality they knew the Districts would never accept it.
Loved the scene with Victory and Satin. Panem really is loyal to Paylor already. I wonder if we’ll get a resolution on Prisca in the final chapter? I love the mentions of all the surviving characters from your other stories, too. Falco, Velia, Astraea! Oh, and Johnson reappearing from this one.
Alright, finally on to Ch. 21!
| gethsemane342 chapter 15 . 7/17/2012
The Zib/Lucan relationship is cute and I enjoyed the conversation with Cali. It's interesting to see how much Paylor has developed.
I have to say though, I didn't like the conversation with Boggs at all. As I said in an earlier review, Paylor is *incredibly* perceptive but it was tolerable. But it just seemed to go too far that she consistently works out exactly what Coin is doing and goes to act on it. One of the interesting things about the human psychology is that you actually know less about people than you think you do (equally, you think people know more about you than they do). It would be nice if Paylor didn't figure everything out within 3 seconds flat.
Keep on writing,
| gethsemane342 chapter 14 . 7/15/2012
I attempted to see if I can be posting as someone else. I can't.
You enjoy your politics, don't you? ;) Still, it's nice to see all of the intrigue etc back and I especially loved the cameo with Victory. You write small kids quite well.
One of your speech lines cuts off in the middle and continues on the next line. Odd.
| gethsemane342 chapter 12 . 7/13/2012
Well, the intrigue continues. I like the overlap with the other stories and I'm liking Dalton's sense of humour.
I have to add, I also appreciated that although we see the whole Lucan/Zib build-up, we don't see the exact moment they got together. Most stories document when the love aspect actually happens and I found it refreshing that yours didn't - made it a lot less cheesy etc and stopped too much focus on it.
I would just add: why has no one comaplained about Paylor's blatant favouritism to anyone she likes? She always lets them off, regardless of what they did, but still expects absolute obedience from everyone else? Doesn't sound like a good commander to me.
Keep on writing,
PS. I can see how many people favourited and followed this. That is absolutely bizarre. Did the site always do that?
PPS. Sorry if the tone of this review comes across harsh - bit stressed at the mo and had a funeral today so not in the most cheery of moods.
| gethsemane342 chapter 11 . 7/12/2012
The "war council" makes me laugh as do the people from District 13. You write them well. Zib and Lucan are, as always, refreshing to read.
But bloody hell, Paylor likes her speeches, doesn't she? I'm not surprised District 13 disagree with her: she just keeps making speeches and expecting it to solve everything. I know she's a commander but a bit of humility wouldn't go amiss...
Keep on writing,