Reviews for What if the true hero had survived
Syriel1 chapter 1 . 2/22/2014
c'est trop triste. En faite harry a eu une dépression suite à la naissance de son fils.
avalesa uharets chapter 1 . 8/15/2013
Liked the beginning but hated the ending. Why did Harry have to die like that. I realy hated it. I like thier son but I not the ending its good. I like your writing though. Keep up the good work and thank you for writing.
Eiri and Kurama lover07 chapter 1 . 11/18/2012
this was so long and detailed and even though it had a lot of grammer and spelling mistakes it was still very well written, the only thing i didnt like was the ending it made me tear up a bit.
Chaus chapter 1 . 8/15/2012
I reviewed before as Sasalia32. Again, I recommend chopping this story into chapter and fixing the style of the writing.

Dia
Guest chapter 1 . 6/30/2012
no point. it doesnt seem to have a point. like... its a snarry fic. why arent feelings introduced? or harry for that matter?
Guest chapter 1 . 6/30/2012
IDK. It's VERY weird reading first perspective from Snape's point of view. And it should be in chapter format so the reader isn't overwhelmed with... this.
starless-ocean chapter 1 . 7/1/2012
It's a deeeeadfiiiiiic! (sob) :'-(
thedarklordsfavoritedungeonbat chapter 1 . 3/31/2012
this is a wonderful story... I really enjoyed it thank you for writing it.
mdra88 chapter 1 . 3/17/2012
I don't get it why did he kill himself, why the change when James was born, he had been so happy with the pregnetcy I understand newborns are hard but I don't see why the huge change in attitude he fanaly had everything an it was perfect? What purpose does he death satisfi in the story specially suicide without an expanation of what was wrong and an atempt to undertand it and make it netter that sous have benen more of a better path to the story . I fess I like happy endings or more of an explanationwith my charecter deaths. But other than that I like the main verry much and it was a great first try, that's for shure vetter than anything I have ever atemtted that's why I haven't posted any stories of my one even thought I love reading fanfiction so don't take my critisizum to hart.
Fernsfairie chapter 1 . 1/21/2012
I liked this story quite a bit, although you really need a beta. :) I wish Harry hadn't died, but the story seemed to be leading up to that moment. If I had to change one thing, I'd say to pull it down, then re-post it in chapters.

Fern Rose
1dentity chapter 1 . 1/16/2012
Wow,so touching, I loved it, I actually started to cry when i realized that Harry was going to take his life, very moving, only thing I could say that was bad was spelling mistakes, there were quite a few, besides that very good!
Sasalia32 chapter 1 . 12/29/2011
I did not read the whole story, my excuse is the daunting size. I think it'd be a good idea to chop this up into chapters as it's a bit much for only one. Furthermore, what I did read was a bit choppy. The sentences didn't seem to flow, though the plot did. I'm sure at some point I will read the rest of this fiction and I do like what I've read so far. Best of luck for NaNo WriMo and please, if you ever post another fic, I'd love to beta it- if you'd allow me to.

_Sasalia
sev's-sexy-mistress chapter 1 . 12/24/2011
Good storyline but ur sex scenes were 2 technical n when the characters talk 2 each other its like robots talking. Also when harry was refering that first quidditch match between gryffindor n slytherin...I saw no favoritism n after the game when Severus said he would talk 2 harry because Draco told him 2, that was not rite Severus has been showing blatant favoritism towards slytherin since he started teaching n 4 Severus to reprimand him in public is even worse...also I cast see severus ever using the term of endearment 'sugar' that's really odd
iwoebegone chapter 1 . 12/21/2011
First and foremost, congratulations on reaching and surpassing the 50k words mark! I hope you won in the NaNoWriMo contest. Now for my comment: I really liked your story... well, at the start. You had a good flow going, never jumping too much, and your AU Snape was believable to an extent. The grammar lapses were forgivable, but there was one thing I could never stomach. You killed Harry through some pathetic mean. I was so very sad at that part. And the ending! So unsatisfying! I wish you could have expanded more about Severus and Albus' future after Harry's death, but oh well. That's what I get as a reader. Still, overall, you did a very good job. Kudos to you!
napafun chapter 1 . 12/18/2011
i love your story very nice plot :D