|Reviews for The Candle|
| Guest chapter 5 . 1/23/2015
NOOO CINNA! I always hated how he died. And finnick. And madge. And prim.
| A Band Of Thieves chapter 1 . 6/6/2012
Nice story, I like how you tie in the dress, the flame, etc. etc. Cinna seems a bit out of character, so try to work on that.
Good luck in the awards!
| Take The Chopsticks And Run chapter 5 . 2/6/2012
this story really is good! Cinna's my favourite characters and i think you portrayed him well! hard to believe this is your first story!
| Bev chapter 5 . 1/17/2012
There's this rule in writing called "Show, Don't tell." You tell a lot in your story. Instead of saying we were mad at each other, say Portia practically snarls at me, so I know she hasn't forgiven me yet.
Also, there are a lot of commas missing in your quote attribution. And I thought you could have done more in adding to the books. Don't just quote lines and add a tiny bit, go deeper. What is Cinna thinking? What spurred him to the rebellion? A family member? There's really a lot more story there.
| iamausername chapter 5 . 12/21/2011
And my bad feeling is confirmed. Though that's not your fault, of course, since I enjoyed this chapter. (Well, I can't exactly enjoy Cinna's dying, but... oh, you know what I mean.)
I loved the ending-it went back to all of the fire references, to the mockingjay, to the rebellion, to your title. I love it when it all ties around once again-a good sense of... closure, you know? A good ending.
Here, I think, again, a bit more thought instead of action could've been a nice addition. I mean, when you're suddenly pinned down like that, you might be thinking something. Even if it's "oh ****". Yet, the detachment style was interesting... hmm.
Great job, overall. An amazing fic that does Cinna justice.
Thanks for participating. I hope you liked the exchange!
| iamausername chapter 4 . 12/21/2011
Another good chapter!
I like how you don't show every little thing. You don't make us sit through all of Peeta's interview and the explanation of the toasting and the end of Katniss' interview. It speeds up the pace of your fanfic, in a good way.
I liked seeing the chaos of the interviews from the perspective of someone in the audience, someone who's not as... protected, in that case, as the tributes are. It gives another level to the crowd's huge reaction.
Nice job here, as well.
Off to the last chapter-have a bad feeling about it, of course.
| iamausername chapter 3 . 12/21/2011
Good, overall, again.
I like the sort of depth of his thoughts here, although I would've liked to see a bit more... reaction, from him. What did he think of Venia being the only prep team member left in the room? What does he think of the audience's being so emotional? How does he feel about all this lying he's doing today? Just a suggestion; do what you want with it.
I loved the ending, a lot. It wasn't too similar to the book's chapter ending, but not too different either. I like how even though everything's going according to plan, it's not going according to plan for just about everyone else. He's sort of the calm one in the state of chaos. I liked the little connection between him and Peeta, as well.
Nice job! Off to the next chapter.
| iamausername chapter 2 . 12/21/2011
A good chapter, although, oddly enough, I don't have a ton to say here.
Ah, I liked how you portrayed Peeta. As we never see any conversations directly between Cinna and Peeta in the books, you had a lot of free reign here and I think you used it well. And Cinna's right, Peeta can be stubborn when it comes to certain things. The conversation to me, seemed enhanced with all the fire-y references.
I forgot to say this in my last review, but I am seeing the occasional typo. Understandable in your first fanfic, but, just saying, keep your eyes open. None too bad, though. Just a little concrit for you.
Nice job again.
I'm off to the next chapter.
| iamausername chapter 1 . 12/21/2011
All right, first chapter! Overall, I liked it. Very well written.
Firstly, I liked that you gave Cinna almost a touch of arrogance, mentally. I can see it hard to not have that, being in his situation. Too many people just portray what we're shown of him on the outside, from the books.
The scene between him and Portia was nice. I like how Cinna, while slightly aggravated, stayed on the calm side the whole time, very controlled. Very like him. Your characterization of them both was fairly interesting-I like how you make it clear that Portia's worried about him, and he understands that; but at the same time there's still a lot of tension in the air between them.
If I had to say one negative thing, though, it would be that I would've liked to see it not be the heaviness of the dress that was noticed as the change. One, because that was used in the books, and, two, I feel like since Cinna and Portia actually know something about fashion design, which Katniss doesn't, there should've been some other tip-off that Portia would've noticed that Katniss might not have. What? I don't know. But then again, I don't know anything about clothes.
Nice job here, overall.
I'm onto the next chapter.
| Cerulean Apocalypse chapter 5 . 12/20/2011
Wow, good story! It was a bit slow, but It was well written and you definitely did justice to one of my favorite characters. Cinna is an interesting character, and I think that there's quite a bit left unsaid bout him. I'm glad you did something from his POV.
His exchange with Peeta was interesting. Neither of them know what the other is planning, but they've both already gone ahead with plans of their own. It's interesting to see them trying to figure out what the other is doing.
Like I said, you did a great job with an important character who, in my opinion, is somewhat overlooked.