Reviews for Tale of Despereaux
spatterson chapter 1 . 9/19/2013
This is a lot like the book itself!
yalla chapter 1 . 4/18/2013
randiryan chapter 1 . 9/6/2012
Show, don't tell
bkaddictjk chapter 1 . 7/12/2012
This was a GREAT idea! I love the new plot of the old story. :D

I think that this had potential to be a chaptered fic, you could have broken it into about 5 or 6 chapters and added an epilogue.

For example, chapter 1 on Despereaux's and Despereauxella's birth (you could add how Despereauxella got her name)...
Chapter 2, about maybe the first day of school for them, (maybe you could show us how they met, and their reactions to the other's name)
Chapter 3, them actually growing up and falling in love...
Chapter 4, Despereaux finding out that Princess Pea had been taken down into the dungeons, and telling Despereauxella about it...
Chapter 5, THE ADVENTURE...
and so on?

You should add a little more dialogue, and not narrate so much, narrating has a way of shortening the story way too much. Oh, and it would have been nice to read some of their thoughts and emotions as they grew older...

All in all, this has a good plotline, good twist from the original, good OC, and a good resolution, but it hasn't been given the change to grow.

I think you should consider making this a chaptered fic, because it has so much potential!
Saphirabrightscale chapter 1 . 2/19/2012
Well shortly told.