Rereading this again.

One can't believe how much antipathy granger causes when not the main characters lexicon in legs...
And in a bookworm with too eager a mouth since first class may self... Sigh.

Andlywqy, VERY well done

The greatest casualty of this story is, and no matter who dies, will continue to be, Hedwig. (except maybe Hermione, I love her, and always hate for her to be die or something because Harry isn’t around, tho that normally happens at Halloween on first year if it is)

Theo casually being the most gryffindorish Slytherin ever

Hermione is a hufflepuff…. how

Wait…what?

What has it got, in its nasty pocketses?!

Please. (Sarcastic eye roll)
Slytherins are conglomerates. Apologies, snakes are Slithers. Rather more adorable sounding then a conglomerate.
Gryffindors are packs. Ravenclaws are flocks, obvs. And Hufflepuffs are either a cluster, or an array.

Goyle prove that the old saying is true; when in doubt, burn them both out.

Please explain the Author's Note in simple terms, I don't understand

Ron is supposed to be the great git, but in the scenes we see, it‘s always Draco who starts to harass the Gryffindors. Ron is calling Harry names (according to Harry), giggles behind their backs (in potions) and constantly makes an „ugly face“ (which by the way reminds me of the films where most of the Slytherins were portrayed as ugly). These are his only offenses. On the other hand the Slytherins actually act like arrogant, self absorbed, petty prats. All the time. They bully and deride people. Draco’s jibes are always low blows, focussing on poverty versus his wealth (Ron), targeting people he sees as weak and below him (Neville) or harping about their inferior blood status (all things Muggle).

Harry is poor himself. He had to wear cast offs, had no toys and was even denied a proper room. He was constantly belittled by the Dursleys. His mother was Muggleborn. He should be able to see that each of Draco‘s jibes is one against himself. Either he is just dumb or insensitive or so weak and starved for affection that he does not (dare to) care.

Besides, he is a hypocrite. He complains that Ron insults him although he does not know him, but then he himself makes fun of Neville who‘s the epitome of friendly and has done nothing to him and joins in the „keep away“ though he admits to himself that it would be a mean thing to do. When he saves the ball from destruction, he doesn’t do it because he does not want to hurt Neville but only because it would cost house points and might mean detention. That‘s pretty Slytherin of him - and very much in line with JKR‘s portrait of Slytherins.

I’m still trying to figure out what your intentions are and where your story is heading. Maybe you want to show how people get caught in their personal bubbles. The house system is prone to that. Or this is just some kind of Dark!Harry story.

Anyway, I get the feeling that your story is not for me. It’s a pity because I really like your writing style. I was hoping for a more balanced view of Slytherin house. Instead, it‘s even worse. You‘ve got the same story as JKR, the same black and white house system which makes the Slytherins look even worse here since you barely mention the other houses and one gets the full brunt of Slytherin arrogance, bullying and narrow minded blood purism. Worst of all, this time Harry is even part of this mess. So far, the only positive Slytherin first year is Millie when she states that Harry should not listen to Draco but do what he thinks is right. My hopes rest on her. :)

That said, thanks again for sharing your story! I don‘t mean offense. I just want to let you know how I perceive your story since words can be interpreted so differently. Anyway, your story, your lead. I have no say in it. Happy writing!

Snape‘s remark that water won‘t boil at 100 degrees is rather unfortunate since that‘s exactly the boiling point of water on the modern Celsius scale. The freezing point is 0. The scale was inverted at some point in time.

His question whether Ron could afford the potions text is also an unfortunate choice of words. I don‘t think he would use poverty in jibes since he was poor himself. I‘m not sure if you intended this as a jibe.

I like Millie in this one. Tomboys are always my favourites. :)

Rule 3 is one of the reasons why Slytherins have such a bad reputation. ;)

Harry‘s still acting ooc. I can‘t see him condoning and even participating in bullying. That‘s what they do with Crabbe. Harry was too often on the receiving end of bullying himself. Some victims do lash out themselves but according to the books Harry wasn‘t one of them.

I don‘t know if you intended this, but Draco & Co come across like spoiled little brats. Not very likable. I‘m also still wondering why Harry does not react to the Muggle jibes. Also, the other Slytherins talk to him like he‘s part of their pureblood club. They should know that his mother is Muggleborn. As famous as Harry is this should be common knowledge.

Bribing the hat is a funny idea, albeit not a realistic one. I don‘t think the hat of Godric Gryffindor could be manipulated so easily. :)

I‘m curious what Harry will make of the blatant Muggle hatred and the pureblood prejudice. He is a halfblood after all and should be offended. I guess it took him by surprise and he feels conflicted since he probably also wants to fit in.

Hermione was a bit insensitive but the Slytherins were even more out of line. First, Theo calling her stupid because she asked if they had seen Neville‘s toad. How should she know that Neville had already asked them? Then, their excessive proposals for „retribution“. Harry does not know what kind of insult „Mudblood“ is, yet, but it should be clear enough that it is an insult.

Well, as I said before, I‘m curious what Harry - or you as his puppeteer - make of that.

I‘m a bit surprised that Harry talked so openly about being hit and living in a cupboard to someone he has just met.

Anyway, I enjoyed the 1st chapter. It‘s a promising start. Well written and your 11 year olds actually sound like 11 year olds for a change. :)

Thanks for writing & sharing this!

To be honest? I love Pansy and Theo and their relationship similar to Ron and Hermione but in Slytherin...it feels more...fun. Romione's fights were always based on her eagerness to correct Ron and his derogatory comments towards Hermione. Pansy and Theo feel better.