|Reviews for Under The Mistletoe|
| Guest chapter 5 . 1/10/2013
| greengirl82 chapter 5 . 1/31/2012
| anonymous chapter 5 . 1/25/2012
Congratulations to your first story in English!
It actually has a plot. One that may not be very original, but is still entertaining and fruitful in regard to insight & development. The end feels harmonious (not abrupt or arbitrary). I like the parallel construction, and the pacing feels fine to me. Your deviations from standard (American) English are minor enough to not hinder the flow, imo. But a beta reader might provide a great learning opportunity. Just a few examples where I would choose different vocables:
jewels - jewelry
to offer . (as a gift) - to give .
library - bookstore (in chapter 4)
to observe a picture of the team - to look at
look daggers - shoot daggers
moue - pout
I hope you keep writing in English, because I can't read French (shame on me).
| HPforever-after chapter 5 . 1/25/2012
Awwww great job n I LUVD all their presents
| HGRHfan35 chapter 4 . 12/26/2011
Adorable story! Cannot wait for the rest :)
| Buka2000 chapter 3 . 12/26/2011
Hope this is set when the Redskins are actually doing well. They aren't doing that great right now in their playing. I know Moss has been with the Redskins for a few years, Cooley is somewhat new. But both are pretty good players. I'm not a Redskins fan though.
But your English is pretty good. The story is very well written so far.
| greengirl82 chapter 4 . 12/26/2011
that was sweet
| greengirl82 chapter 3 . 12/26/2011
| Wootar16 chapter 4 . 12/26/2011
Love this story. I can't wait to see what you come up with next. PPMS!
| TigerLily888 chapter 1 . 12/26/2011
This is a lovely start! Thank you and I'm looking forward to more!
| greengirl82 chapter 2 . 12/25/2011
this was sweet. :)
| xFullmetalSoulx chapter 2 . 12/25/2011
So cute! By the way, you misspelled the second "sure." Other than that, it's awesome!
| xFullmetalSoulx chapter 1 . 12/24/2011
Your English is pretty good. Great story! Can't wait for more! (Oh, and what a coincidence, I'm learning French, currently.)
| greengirl82 chapter 1 . 12/24/2011
You did a fantastic job to start with, can't wait to see what happens next.