|Reviews for Re: Dawn|
| RinWolfeh chapter 1 . 1/24/2012
This is beautiful...
| Veni0Vidi0Vici chapter 1 . 1/13/2012
Okay. So I normally don't have the patience to even read anything of this length- let alone review it, but... it looks a little... under-loved.
["Ha! Hey, Snow, didja hear that?" ] From what we can see of these cats, they tend to speak very clearly. The only real, uh, for lack of a better word, dialect that we ever really heard (as far as I know) was a deaf Snowkit with "S'alright."
["He doesn't rememberus—or even his own name, for that matter.] Always go over your stories in the DocX in case it ate spaces. It tends to do that after italics from what I see.
[I can't remember!Cody gritted his teeth.] Definite DocX issues. These are distracting. Make sure that you double check.
[Mentor and apprentice, perhaps. Something had changed—had turned Ashclaw into Cody.] With all the other cattish terms that you're using you make sure to show that they're foreign to Cody- strange and odd. With mentor and apprentice you don't and it's strange. I think that you should have showed how strange these are to him like you did with the others.
These lines just stuck with me: ["The Ashclaw I know would have ripped my throat out for betraying him." / "You're probably right," Ashclaw agreed. And he left it at that.] Great job there!
["To bed, Dawn. I'll have to straighten these rumors out myself."] ... To ... bed?
[I deserve it, she sighed inwardly. All that training. All those scars.] In the short time that you had to make these characters, they had clear personalities, and I think that this line goes against Shion's. Perhaps you're trying to toss in a little last minute character growth, but it just doesn't feel right.
[Are you there?] What a beautiful way to end the story.
To be honest, I wasn't all that impressed with the story at first. It seemed well, plain, and as you "rambled on" in the text I liked it more and more. The battle scenes were well-written, something hard to find these days. The characters were memorable and a part of them will always stick with me when reading them. A cat with a fragmented past that he can't remember and strong morals. A cruel mother wanting to live through her daughter. And a daughter who rises up against the abuses of her mother and symbolizes what's good in the world to Cody.
I especially like his name. A plain kittypet name, nothing special, but when you take into account the canon character you get a sense of weakness, but Ashclaw is a strong fighter- a warrior. It's interesting. Made me stroke my beard a little.
And the ending? It left me speechless. Deep, poetic, beautiful. I'm not lying when I say that I shed a tear. And now you may add me to the ranks of Ebul Dawnhat fanboys.
So anywho, since this was well, under-loved I thought I'd spread my cooties on the review page. And these people have no idea what they're missing out on.
| CrypticWraith chapter 1 . 12/26/2011
Holy floppers this is amazing! -le gasp- I love it! I could just...just...just eat it! I was also slightly surprised at how long this one-shot was, but it was so worth it. I'm not a fan, but I know of Kingdom Hearts
I've decided to check out your other fanfictions! :D