Reviews for Willy
movieholic chapter 4 . 7/8/2012
Another story that could be brilliant, but could also use a lot of work. I'm no expert myself, but as a person who has taken the basics of English/Language Arts classes throughout my life, I know that this could be revamped a bit. You have two or more characters, within the same paragraph, speaking back and forth. It's too much, and needs to be broken down. Whenever a new character speaks, you should start a new paragraph. It's not always the case, but 9 1/2 times out of 10 it is. There are simple spelling and grammatical errors here and there, but that's fine (mine are the same way.) I do think you know the character of William quite well, and I like that. But just work on some of those things I mentioned, and this could be so much better. Hopefully you take this as constructive criticism, and not flames!
Dr. Serpico chapter 1 . 4/5/2012
molto interessante, mi è piaciuto, complimenti per la tua storia. Spero che tu capisca italiano, non è troppo buono con la grammatica inglese, anche se so benissimo leggere in inglese.