|Reviews for Fire v Ice|
| WaterEra chapter 2 . 11/12/2012
Hmm. This story sounds good so far. :D The writing is rather fluent and is adequate in sophistocation. Although I feel it could flow a little more smoothly. But you're getting a well handed grasp on their personalities. You truly have coach's qualities down perfectly. :P The hint at the end...interesting. XD This will be very interesting. This could lead to all sorts of different and intriguing ends. I quite like this so far, but I say make the chapters longer, and don't be afraid to add a lot of detail. However, you express events well without a ton; this is impressive. But whichever works best. Also, in my opinion, I don't think you should add any slash, for I have a feeling it will distract largely from everything else, and will perhaps only be added baggage. Because if you go for an angsty yet not completely dark tone, then a slash would be a rather conspicuous and random detail due to the characters involved and their positions. Therefore it will be distracting. In the same hand, from where these points seem to show, a slash could possibly be out of place. Although-just an errant thought- if Jimmy and this girl Al were to become friends or something similar, I feel that will include some extra depth in ways and perhaps some interesting side plots and angles. Such as secretivness...some type of plotting against Darren, perhaps...maybe some scheming...lots of humor...and others such things. All in all, I see potential for some very engrossing events, and I myself and already quite engrossed. :D
| RejectedShyRebel18 chapter 2 . 3/29/2012
Nich to read a chapter 2 look forward to reading more.
| RejectedShyRebel18 chapter 1 . 12/28/2011
Hope you job.
| RogueSquirrel chapter 1 . 12/26/2011
Oh, this wonderful! You should post some more of the BOG goodness!