|Reviews for Killing Loneliness|
| Annie Thea chapter 5 . 6/8
This chapter has a lot of movement and event... which I am glad, but some part of it was hard to follow. I am not a grammar expert, but since we are reading in Gray's POV, everytime Claire speaks, it would benefit us reader better if you could start a new line (by that i mean using enter to space it out... not sure how to phrase it correctly).
Such as this one:
" I consider telling Claire how i felt that i wasn't ready for the past few days. I wasn't afraid of Claire. Sure she could be pushy, but thankfully she was also understanding. After all, she was alone like i was. There was a saying-Misery loves company, was it? I don't think... I can go through with it."
The look in her eyes caught me by surprise. I immediately decided it was somewhere between shock and... anger?"Why not?" "
In that particular parts, i was unsure who was speaking and who was not. At first I thought Gray spoke both of the line, but after a reread i figure it was actually Claire that answer "Why not?". But that the first try it was hard to follow up.
Overall i like this chapter. Although i don't like the development between Claire and Cliff- it felt stiff on her part and the way she act it was like her heart wasn't into the whole situation, and she was more engrossed into Gray's affair than her own- but i am sure you have your reason behind it, so i just wait patiently for further explanation as the story progress on. Seemed like she was just using Cliff as a front to hide her feeling for Gray lol.
Anyway, again, love your story :) i repeat it in every review i left for you, hope you're not tired of it yet hahaha. You really have a talent for writing dialogue, your character's conversation never felt force or out of character, and actually very witty too. I am really looking forward for reading more and more of this fic.
| Annie Thea chapter 4 . 6/8
No :((( Not Cliff! Agghhh Claire is Gray's for the keeping, nooo! And there i was hopping Claire was secretly fighting her emotion for Gray .
Such a short chapter (or is it because I DEVOURED them too fast?), your story is still beautifully executed as always.
Btw It was just a surprise to me that Gray doesn't like hiking... i mean he has to mine and all, so doesn't it comes naturally as part of the job to hike to the mine? oh well. Just my two cent.
A date with Mary was such a good opportunity for Gray but all he can think about after it was that Claire has a crush haha, you're so hopeless Gray. I like seeing Gray's mind slowly drift to Claire, so natural and effortless. I hope Mary doesn't fall for Gray, because 4-way relationship is just too painful...
| Annie Thea chapter 3 . 6/7
"Does it hurt?" I asked
*I reread your 2nd chapter, so here are some extra review*:
She looked at me strangely . "Being alone?"
"No, your knee."
I kept giggling at this conversation, so natural and air-headed of Claire, and the way Gray act casually with her reply it gave me a heart throb. "Hi Kettle" and "yeah,Yeah". Gosh i love love love your talent on building up a conversation!
I love Gray's observation on things as well, calmed, concise but thoughtful and somehow sorrowful.
REVIEW FOR CHAPTER 3:
Your Claire was a very unusual character, the way she held the conversation, her thinking process, it was like she had everything bottled up inside and only expose a small faction for us to see, but I can tell that her emotion is slowly leaking out by her words as she interact with Gray. I love their chemistry together! They seemed like two lonely people huddle up in this vast world, so beautiful.
Poor Gray, he was so clueless about his feeling haha, but at least, he was being sincere. Can't wait until they start to realize their feeling for each other.
Great work by the way :) I love your style of writing.
| Annie Thea chapter 2 . 5/25
ah! my favorite part about Gray, tender and chivalrous despite his harsh word. I think I am in love with your Claire too, the way she answered Gray question in her own thought and turned the conversation around. And I can tell that Gray is slowly but surely attracted to our farmer already. Oh Gray, stop the struggle, you are doomed by us Graire fangirl to be with Claire!. Jk, struggle is what makes love beautiful. So struggle some more haha I love to read your wonderful thought Gray.
Excellent writing! I can strain enough how much i love your style of writing.
| Annie Thea chapter 1 . 5/25
Great beginning! Can i just tell you have much i love your writing? You have a precise way of handling words, that manage to capture perfectly the mood and the personality of the person. So short and effective! Unlike me i took paragraphs to pull out the right mood ( or not even right )haha.
Gray's POV is my most preferred way of reading HM fanfic! And you describe him well. I am loving it.
| Scorus chapter 5 . 7/11/2012
| Fellow Trainee Writer chapter 4 . 4/21/2012
It's been a while, isn't it? Three months... Oh, and why am I reviewing at Chapter 4? Because I happened to click the Review button when I was reading chapter 4.
Well, aren't you rushing it? Gray is still uncertain of his feelings towards Claire, so it can't be "I love you". And the phrase "we'll still have each other" when Claire told Gray to confess in the Winter Thanksgiving makes me feel like, they'd be a couple if Mary and Cliff reject them!
Oh, and in my opinion, you shouldn't let Claire say "I..." when she was about to leave the place in the last chapter. It's the very beginning of "I love you" and like I said, it's too soon for them to say it. Her crush is Cliff remember? She just wants to help Gray because she doesn't want anyone to be alone like her. Make her crush on Cliff as HARD as you can - and Gray's doubt of his crush on Mary grows stronger and stronger every chapter. But since you have already made Gray realized that he loved Claire, so my suggestion here would be totally useless.
The story has gone too fast than needed - maybe you want to please those fangirls of Graire around here? I agree to Someone that you can't just let Gray confess that fast - but "I like you" isn't helping the situation - since Gray didn't seem to realize his true feelings for Claire - he was just surprised because he didn't expect Cliff and Claire become a couple - and was wondering why he acted that way. You ought to give him more time about that. Maybe wait until the Goddess Festival, when Cliff and Claire go together as a couple - and if you let Gray say "I love you" at that point, the story would be more convincing.
P/S: Winter Thanksgiving is the day when girls give cookies/chocolate/cake to boys. I don't think it's a good day for Gray to confess to Mary. So, the "confess attraction in the same day" seems pointless to me. And oh, "grow a pair"? Don't you think it's a little bit too hard for Claire to talk with Gray like that? [I know she was trying to help Gray, but...]
| ILOVEMYCAKES chapter 5 . 4/8/2012
HIIIIII,its me again.I loved this chapter THEY are finaly realising thier true feeling...its about time they did -_-".soo was this love at first sight?
| Someone chapter 5 . 4/8/2012
So I liked this chapter, its just that at the end you should have used "I like you" instead of "I love you".Love is a very strong feeling it takes a lot of time to develop, liking someone is like a crush its the way you get atrracted to someone by looks and personalities, I think you should change that and throughout their relationship(hopefully) make them fall in love, saying I love you is one of the most exciting part of a romantic relationship along with the first kiss.I hope you reconsider.
| SunnyElla16 chapter 5 . 4/8/2012
They Sooooooo have the hots for eachother
| SunnyElla16 chapter 4 . 3/16/2012
I think Claire is lying ;) of Clyde she wouldn't want Gray to know she likes him! She is way to selfless for that. I'm looking forward to your next update! Awesome job so far :)
| SunnyElla16 chapter 3 . 3/16/2012
GrAy LiKeS hEr 3
| SunnyElla16 chapter 2 . 3/16/2012
Aw, gray is worried about her already :)
| SunnyElla16 chapter 1 . 3/16/2012
Cute first Chapter :) I love how you used 'I never noticed her intense eyes before' or something that that. It really put a strong image in my head!
| Perfect Memories chapter 3 . 2/29/2012
I really like it. And I didn't really find any errors. The story has a good flow. I hope you update soon (: