Reviews for The Cruelty and Fairness of Fate
Neuroleptic chapter 13 . 1/16/2008
Ok, so now they are together. That's offical, and it's a well done chapter.

The part with Ami . . . uh . . . walking funny . . . is one I can relate to. That's just crule to do to someone who is painfully shy! I hate it when people do that kind of thing to me. Just the same, when it's someone else, it's funny as hell to watch.

And the photographer is creepy, especialy early on when you don't know what the heck he is up to.
Neuroleptic chapter 12 . 1/15/2008
You know, every single time I have read this chapter, it has snowed or been snowing, and the first time I read it I lived in South Carolina, a palce where it NEVER snows. So, on a whym, I checked the weather, and it's going to snow here tomorow. I've no idea why that is.

But I always have liked the part where Luna looks up and gets smacked in the eye by a snow flake, and it always seems that much more real since I usual experince it myself either before or shortly after reading this chapter.

I thought Ami's reaction to Makoto finally telling her how she felt was very very good and so in character. It made sence after Makoto sleeping with a guy, that she might actualy say that to Ami just to get her to stay. At least, from Ami's point of veiw.

And the rest of the chapter is nice and fluffy. Snow flakes and all.
Neuroleptic chapter 11 . 1/15/2008
Forgot to mention this in my last review, so I'll say this quick, then review this chapter.

I like that you protray Mamoru positively. A lot of authors on this site have it out for the guy, and his reaction to Rei and Minako, as well as Makoto being pregnate was priceless.

Back to chapter 11.

Makoto has her peanut butter out again. Her fixation with peanut butter for some reason amuses me.

I'd actualy forgotten about this chapter since it has been a while since I read the story. So I forgot about the fact that you still HAVN'T set them up yet. So disregard that coment in my review a few chapters back.

I like how Rei has decided to handle it by letting them both talk to eachother instead of playing match maker. And the whole Ami school girl fantasy is hillarious. Somehow, I think if Ami ever found out about that, she'd turn red as a tomato.

And you described sleeping on a couch down to a T. for quite a while when I moved out on my own that's all I had and I HATED it.

I know I'v written 11 reviews so far at this point, but I honestly still don't have any constructive critisisem aside for a few small typeos that aren't even worth pointing out.
Neuroleptic chapter 10 . 1/14/2008
Hospital emergency rooms are terrible places to be for a ton of reasons. Luckily, Makoto and 'bug' are ok.

It's dissapointing when you fall for someone you can never have for one reason or another. I feel sorry for Ami in this chapter. And Makoto listening in to the conversation was done well. Her closing thought is a good one. What do you do to the person who done screwed up when you know that person is you?

Yep. Sighn of a good story: one that makes you feel and think.
Neuroleptic chapter 9 . 1/14/2008
One thing I hate about Satoshi, is how uncaring and heartless he is. The only thing worse than him, is knowing there are people out there in the real world just like him.

That made Makoto nearly breaking his arm that much more rewarding to read about.

And you know if Setsuna is looking for them at school, it's bad.

I also couldn't help notice the ammount of resurch you put into writing the class sceen. I have heard that in Japan Highschool kids don't change classes. So having them milling about the room between class was a nice touch since it's the teachers who move room to room. Don't know if that was intentional or not, but I liked it.
Neuroleptic chapter 8 . 1/14/2008
The elvs! I gotta find some of them to hang up in my yard _ They'd drive my boring nehbors insane. I'm glad to see you found an excuse to give them a second appearance in another story.

The whole dance sceen was nicely written. While the story is 29 chapters long, I felt 8 chapters was more than enough to hold out on actualy setting Ami and Makoto up. I always like it when people don't set them up right away and make them 'work' at it.

Makes it more dramatic.
Neuroleptic chapter 7 . 1/14/2008
Usagi's reaction to 'After the storm' is priceless, and so is Ami's reaction to Usagi's.

Makoto's obsession with peanut butter is a scary thing, but not half as scary as my step mother's obsession with peanut butter and banannas when she was pregnant with my little brother . . .

And by this point in the story, one is starting to want to tell Ami and Makoto to just say something to eachother already.
Neuroleptic chapter 6 . 1/14/2008
That had to be a hard conversation for Rei's grandfather to have with her. Just thinking about your kid (and Rei is essentualy her grandfather's kid since he is the one who rased her) growing up and doing grown up things isn't easy. I emagine just walking in and seeing it would be that much harder. Luckily he took it well.

I love the rule he made.

It's disapointing that Rei's father forgets about her. Knowing how the story ends though, one almost wishes he would keep doing it!
Neuroleptic chapter 5 . 1/14/2008
Every time I read this chapter, I have more and more things I can relate to in it. I hate to tell you this C.S., but this chapter is probably my favorite part of everything you (or anyone else for that matter) has ever written. The down side is, you'll NEVER be able to top it, at least for me.

The entire conversation about the utter cruelty and fairness of fate between Setsuna and Minako is one that for the longest time I only ever seemed to see the cruelty side of the conversation.

Loosing a parent at a young age truly gose far, far beyond crule, as Minako said.

This chapter makes me think about all the things in my life that have brought me to this moment. For a lot of people, I'm sure they'd agree that it's a wild ride. For some (like Makoto in this story) more so than others.

And, I can now speek from experience, that little soapy babies truly ARE slippery little things. Despite all the drama and various feelings one gose through while trying to get one, weather planned or not, ready or not, addopted, whatever. In the end . . .

Ya realize that when they fall asleep in the high chair because they wanted to get up earlier in the morning than you or they should have, that they truly do make all the cruelty of fate seem fair, even if it isn't always kind.
Neuroleptic chapter 4 . 1/14/2008
The animal people. I'm still waiting to find out what they are truly up to. Hopefully it gets adressed in the upcoming chapter of your other story. I like Ti best out of them. But then, I'm partial to labs.

This is probably the chapter where I stop being angry at Makoto and start to feel some sympathy for her. Can't fight, can't control her emotions (not that she always did to begin with) can't stop the food cravings. It's a little strange seeing one of the most physicaly strong characters in the series turned into someone quite helpless. Good thing she's got Ami.
Neuroleptic chapter 3 . 1/13/2008
You know, I think I realize what it is I like about this story so much.

It's one of the rare stories that can make you actualy feel a few emotions while reading it.

Such as the part where Ami and Makoto are talking about why Makoto can't tell her friends what is bothering her. It's hard for people to forget that their closest friends make some big mistakes, and just as hard not to see them as perfect. Then when they do finaly screw up it can be a rude awakening. Usagi would almost certanly be blown away by that.

Then their's the part with Ami and her mother talking to each other. Ami just comes home like she usualy dose, no one's around and- then you just have to think "uh-oh" when you realize she's been caught read handed.

Lastly, the part with Rei's grandfather walking in on Makoto and Minako and dropping the tea cup has got to be one of my favorite 'Oh shi..." moments of all time.

Kaya has got to be the best depiction of Ami's mother in any Sailor Moon fan fic I have ever run across, period. She's the 'Ami's Mom' that all authors on use (or SHOULD) to messure up how beliveable they write her, even if they write her differently.
Neuroleptic chapter 2 . 1/13/2008
The section about Ami in the library was beliveable, especialy for someone who has been in the same position as her. And it's always made worse when the people you just over heard turn and taunt you for leaving.

The part in this chapter I like most is when Ami is swimming. She hardly seems to be thinking about what she is doing most of the time because she is so lost in her own thoughts.

This was probably the first fan fic I ever read where I actualy got angry at one of the characters, and even knowing how the story ends, it STILL makes me feel that way. My thought when I get to the end of the chapter is the same today as it was the first time I read this story.

How in the world could Makoto have been so STUPID to sleep with Yuu?
Neuroleptic chapter 1 . 1/13/2008
Well, decided to start re reading this story and realized I had never actualy reviewed every single chapter. Insomnia gives one lots of time on there hands on a day off . . .

One thing I always pick up on in this chapter is Makoto's unreasonable fear of her friends leaving, and how truly realistic it was that Makoto would feel that way. Loosing your parents at an early age dose that to you.

Knowing where this story eventualy gose, I can't help but wonder how differently things would have gone if Makoto had taken Ami up on the offer to go with her to Germany.

. . . and then I wonder what it would have taken to get Makoto on the flight? They have sedatives for that that I'm sure Ami's mom could have perscribed Makoto, but if she somehow got talked into going she would probably be too . . . I don't know . . . tough? strong willed? stubborn? all three? to actualy use them.
ElaineAlaine chapter 29 . 1/6/2008
After reading all thirty chapters, my eyes are almost bleeding, but it was so worth it.

I'm a Makoto/Ami fan, but I enjoyed this fic because it gave time to all of the other characters, including Ami's mom, who's normally almost left out. It was like a was watching some wonderful movie, and I just couldn't pull away.

It was great. Don't ever stop writing!
In-betweens chapter 12 . 7/25/2007
Why do I have a sinking feeling in my stomach that tells me Usagi's last line is going to be tested and severly very soon? Anyway...great story. I'm too tired right now to finish it but I will most deifnitly come back when I have the time. This story is just so great. Love it!
320 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 7 14 .. Last Next »