|Reviews for Feelings Never Told|
| Kittendragon chapter 24 . 1/22/2012
I just have to say, I love these! :) I always look forward to your PotO. :)
| Sora Kohaku chapter 10 . 1/9/2012
Lol at the Persian pointing out to Erik that HIS love has also changed and not realizing it.
| Sora Kohaku chapter 8 . 1/9/2012
Thiiiis. This is my favorite on so far! There is something very beautiful about it. Though I wonder how Erik blew them all up. Or was it just a case of the fire just reaching them and being unable to escape? Blow them all up seems a tad extreme. XD
| Haru Kinome chapter 16 . 1/8/2012
Good: Raoul finally meets mannequin!Christine? Creepy XD Interesting that they're still tied together by her even after her... death or disappearance or whatever happened. But I hope they don't try to use each other as a substitute for her; it seems like Raoul is getting a little close to becoming a surrogate (although whether Erik chooses to use him as such is speculate). I do like that Raoul sings to him, though :3 Anyway, thank you very much for writing this _
Misc: Uber big congrats to you for makin' your time limit! \(o)/
| Haru Kinome chapter 17 . 1/7/2012
Good: You tricked me DX I thought this fic was so cute, that they were just playfully bickering and that it was adorable that they could be so honest with each other (the part about them and conspiracies was just too sweet), but then you went and turned Raoul into a corpse, and suddenly the entire thing became awkwardly angsty. But you did a fantastic job at concealing Erik's desperate denial with the agitated irritability in his speech and movements. And the ending is bitterly romantic; even though it's sorta gross that he's basically fondling a corpse, he handles it so tenderly, and it's really sad that his love goes to waste :( Thank you very much for writing this.
(Is it awright if I ask a question? For about how long was Raoul dead? You said, "...just a couple of minutes ago, he had berated Erik for not being prepared", so I just assumed that Erik had started his packing rant maybe a minute or so after he discovered that Raoul was dead, but at the end, the corpse is completely cold. I looked it up: after death, the body temperature falls approximately 1.5 degrees F every hour, and given Raoul's fever, he would've had to be dead for some time before his body got that cold. So was he dead for longer than I'd surmised from your story?)
Misc: I had a necrophilia plotbunny of my own, but now that you've written something sorta similar, I can take mine out back and shoot it Old Yeller style :) ...given the subject matter of this ficlet, that was probably a bad joke, wasn't it? orz Sorry.
| Haru Kinome chapter 18 . 1/7/2012
...this chapter is unsettling D: It's so bleak and... exhausted, I suppose, like Erik and Raoul are both lost and walking in infinite circles and constantly asking 'Am I happy yet?' Except they're not; they've just reached this really weird equilibrium where in order for things to get better, they have to let go of what they already have, but the status quo isn't exactly making things worse, so it's not worth the risk yet. Some of that hazy dissatisfaction might come from the notion that love and sex are distinctly mutually exclusion in this one. Although Raoul's trying to prove an exception to the rule, he just ends up with angst, but not melodramatic angst. I dunno, it sorta seems like he's accepted his unrequited infatuation with a kind of detached numbness (but wth do I know, ne?). Erik and Raoul also spend the entirety of this ficlet physically and emotionally separated, and the contrasts between their states of dress/undress, Raoul's feelings and Erik's lack of them, and Raoul lingering after sex while Erik gets up to work reaffirm that there's nothing between them but unequivocal lovelessness. I think the sex is weird, too (not in a bad way). You did a great job at reducing it to nothing but carnality and physical sensation and at removing all of the emotion in it (which itself is perturbing), but, oddly, there's no passion in it. Maybe it's because this ficlet takes place during the aftermath? It feels like all of the passion has dispersed, so Erik and Raoul have nothing to fall back into except flat affect.
...or maybe it's the adultery; that never fails to upset me. And that there's a baby that'll be brought into the whole mess. Anyway, thank you very much for writing this. I do like it, it just inspires a lot of unhappy feelings.
| Haru Kinome chapter 19 . 1/7/2012
This chapter is really lonely, ne? :( Raoul's literally alone, as everyone else is dead and there aren't even any corpses left over to keep him company, but even in the short paragraph about Christine's funeral, he's by himself and separated from the other mourners. Even the way you describe the cenotaph (great word, btw; I learned something :D) is lonely; the building's structures all seem lifeless and generic and detached, with barely any trace of individual expression or personalization (like, Philippe's epitaph is mentioned, but not explicated any further, so it adds sort of an impersonal feeling), which makes it seem even emptier. The angel statue is the saddest; it's the closet thing to a person in the entire room, but it's just as cold and unmoving as everything else, a cruel reminder of what the mausoleum lacks. The contrast to Raoul's living, breathing state alienates him even further from the setting and reiterates the feelings of loneliness. Oh, but I love the attention to geriatric!Raoul's movements; there's a sort of forlorn weariness in them that makes this chapter even more somber. Thank you very much for writing this _
(Anou, is it awright if I ask a quick question? Is there some kind of symbolism in that piece of Erik being hidden in the angel, like since in canon he adopts the pretense of one? Er, I think I'm reading too much into it, though...)
| chibihime chapter 20 . 1/7/2012
YOU DEFINITELY HAVE TO MAKE THIS INTO A WHOLE CHAPTER STORY 3 Vampires may be cliche but I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE IDEA OF ERIK BEING A VAMPIRE! And just this one part is already INCREDIBLY AMAZING! Continue Please?
| Keyklee chapter 24 . 1/7/2012
I love Raoul in this, he's so happy and worry-free that I just can't help but be happy and cheerful too. I really love him when he is like that, and I love how he finds so much joy and happiness in „simple“ things.
And Erik is so awesome here too. I love how he acts a bit like a chaperone and is all grumpy with Raoul for putting himself in „danger“ like that. :D I just love concerned-Erik.
I love how he acts like the only reason he keeps staring at Raoul is because he's trying to make sure he doesn't hurt himself.
And I really like that, even though Erik seems like someone who wouldn't get all happy and exhilarated about things like that, and I can actually even see him side-eying other people for behaving like that, he does seem to perfectly understand Raoul and why and how he's so happy right there. I also think that it does make Erik inwardly equally happy to see him like that.
It's really sweet though how he never stops worrying about Raoul's safety.
Their kiss was just so nice! And I love how in the end Erik just can't help but being (somewhat) openly happy.
This is again something where I'm really not sure and feel so annoying for asking. In the first line of the second paragraph it says „And that was the perfectly respectable reason as to why he was could not seem to tear his eyes away from him right now.“
The part that confuses me is where it says „...as to why he was could not seem to tear his eyes...“, mainly the „was could“ part. I don't know, I thought... maybe the was does not belong in there? Ugh, I hate doing this. It always makes me feel like such an idiot. Anyways, in case I'm just too stupid to get it just ignore me. Sorry!
I'm really happy you ended this with a fluff chapter. I don't know... I'm just always like... no matter how much angst there is in a story, if the ending is ...positive then I don't mind that too much. Although here it really makes no sense because the chapters are not connected at all and don't actually tell one single story, but somehow it still works for me. So I'm really glad that you didn't end it with an angsty chapter, or worse.
Thank you so very much for this chapter, and more than anything for this entire ficlet, for every chapter, no matter how angsty or depressing or …dead people dominated it was.
This is super awesome and I especially want to thank you for updating so incredibly frequently, for putting yourself under so much pressure and stress and for working so hard on this. Thank you so so much!
(and I'm sorry and want to apologize for my shitty reviews. I always want to do better with the next one, but it just never works. I'm really very sorry about that!)
| Keyklee chapter 20 . 1/7/2012
Oooh this is the best thing ever! :D I love it, everything about it, this is just so damn awesome!
I love the way it's written, with the change between the presence and the flashbacks. I think that makes it really ...vivid and super enthralling.
I also really love how the present part takes place right at the same moment when the musical basically starts out, I think that's just awesome and I love it so much because (to me) that makes it feel all the more canon-ish because it's going with the actual events of the story.
I also think that the vampire idea works extremely well for Erik (for me at least). Like, e.g. if I'm not fogetting something (which is very likely), the only time we actually see him outside during the day in the musical is during the cemetery scene. And I'm not sure how far into the day that one takes place. I think for me it also works really well with his character, because he often has this ...world-weary, due-to-experiences-extremely-pessimistic and just very knowledgeable way of thinking and behaving, which I think works perfectly well for someone who'd have been on the planet for so many years. Just like, IDK, the fact that he often gets portrayed as someone who speaks every language on the planet, knows every book ever written and has mastered any art there exists, which I've got to admit sometimes find to seem a little bit too much for a normal person, even for a genius.
I find the ideas with the actual hunters and the thought of him having been chased and hunted down like that before really intrigueing too.
I absolutely love and adore Raoul in this. He's just ...so very Raoul here. I just love how he's, in spite of being wounded himself, only caring about Erik. It's not really doing him any good, but I can't help loving it. I also really love the entire way he treats and takes care of Erik, how nice he is about his face and just how gentle he is with him in general. Aah Raoul!
The scene of Erik drinking his blood (I'm so tempted to say „the scene of Erik sucking Raoul“ because I really kind of want to use that phrase and it's really nice because in this context it's not even really dirty, so I wouldn't have to have a bad conscience for saying it.) Anyways, that scene is soo good and amazing! I love how Erik seems to really kind of get intoxicated from Raoul's blood, how it's the best he has ever tasted in centuries. (I think I like that so much because it's like some literal proof to me that there is no one who could even get close to Raoul and that he's exactly what Erik wants and needs. ...Though I'm not sure if that thought makes sense, or well, I'm rather sure that it doesn't make sense at all.)
And I especially (almost more than that) love how Erik is still able to stop drinking from him when he grows aware of the actual person. I think I like that so much because, in an extremely farfetched and not-sense-making way it means to me that even though Erik might be really greedy and selfish when it concerns Raoul, in the end Raoul's well-being and happiness are the most important thing for him and that he'd be willing to put his own wants and needs to the back for Raoul's sake. ...Hmm talk about over-interpretation. I'm sorry about this!
It's like the greatest thing how even in that moment Raoul still only really cares about Erik and is more concerned for him than himself.
I'm really curious about Erik's face and how its ...state is related to him drinking blood, from Raoul, or in general.
And that scene of him licking Raoul (...it's not all that dirty either here, right? I mean... may I say it?) is awesome. And sexy. Thanks a lot for that alone.
I really love how Erik sees Raoul again during that moment when he's about to loosen the rope and Raoul is being introduced as new patron because, I have a pretty clear mental image of that scene, and having the story start right there just makes it feel so realistic to me. And I love the moment of Erik suddenly smelling Raoul, how his whole body grows aware of his presence.
I love how he forgets all about Christine once Raoul comes into the picture, how she and the rest of the opera house become more a distraction from his needs and wants concerning Raoul than anything else, and I also really like how it suddenly makes him feel all the more caged in his underground home. (Not because I want him to feel that way, but because in this fic I kind of want him to leave it (with Raoul.))
I think I just love the idea of Erik literally hungering (or thirsting ...I guess it doesn't really matter) for Raoul.
And the idea of them possibly having all eternity together is just the best thing ever.
This is absolutely brilliant and awesome, I love love love it!
Thank you so much!
| Reader1 chapter 24 . 1/7/2012
Awwww... That was sweet. Write more!
| Keyklee chapter 23 . 1/7/2012
Ooh poor Erik! (although „poor Raoul!“ too because I'm sure he has a terrible conscience now given that he's ...Raoul.) :(
I've got to admit though that I really liked getting this scene from Erik's POV. I mean, because Raoul already had to deal with it too. (With walking in on the other two kissing I mean)
I thought it was really interesting to see how different and at the same time similar their reactions and feelings are, when faced with this situation, with Raoul fleeing from it and having his world crumble around him, but actually not being angry or furious with them for doing this to him.
Whereas Erik on the other hand almost right away thinks of it as a betrayal and considers revenge.
But I think what I really love so much about it (although it's of course only sad) is how both of them seem to be heartbroken and completely devastated, simply with different (or kind of no) coping mechanisms as an answer to it. It's way too sad, but at the same time it just makes me feel all the more like they really belong together.
I'm just sad that Erik didn't stay long enough to see what happens after they stop kissing. But maybe this is also important for him to realize just how important Raoul is to him.
| Keyklee chapter 22 . 1/7/2012
I feel so terrible for Raoul because Erik never realized all the sacrifices he made for them (and from my personal POV, I think Christine probably didn't notice it either.) until it's too late.
I don't want to imagine all the pain he went through, all the hopes and dreams he gave up for them, it's just too sad. But it does feel absolutely head-canon for me.
I really loved getting all the examples of their life together, of Raoul's ...interventions to make Erik and Christine happy. Especially the one of him being there for Erik to let his anger and frustrations out on Raoul instead of Christine makes me really sad, and at the same time it just seems so fitting. It's actually something where I can see Erik being really easily manipulated. I think he's someone who really can't control his bad moods well and will take any outlet that's being offered to him without thinking much about it. While on the other hand, I can totally see Raoul wracking his brain how to help the two of them out of their difficulties. And to see how much thought and care and planning he invested in all of this makes it all the more sad.
I think I'm kind of glad that this wasn't from Raoul's POV, although it's really depressing and just plain frustrating to see how Erik never grew aware of all the things Raoul gave him, but I think if it were from Raoul's POV, I'd find it probably even more heartbreaking.
What I really liked was how this fic showed that and why Erik and Christine would never really work. I think their both too... I don't wanna say selfish here, because I don't really think that because one's unwilling to give up their (way of) lives for someone else you're selfish, but I think they have this problem of never truly caring to understand each other and to want the best for the other one instead of themselves. Although I do think that Erik has it in himself to be that selfless, I just think he would need someone (like Raoul) to show him that first. Gah, I'm rambling again, sorry!
I think the reason why I love this so much, besides it being so freaking depressive once again, is that it just seems so in-character for Raoul to me. It makes me feel really bad a lot of times that his selflessness and kindness make me love him so much, because they really almost exclusively seem to lead to him getting hurt. :( But I can't seem to help having this view of him as head-canon.
| Kandakicksass chapter 24 . 1/7/2012
Cute, cute, cute! Everyone needs a little fluff- it makes our hearts happy. Don't be mean to it! :P
| minlin chapter 24 . 1/7/2012
YAY! Happy fic! I'll admit that I was a little nervous that you were going to have Raoul fall off the horse and break his neck or something.